This Is My Kingdom Come
by cloudsarefluffy
Summary: Dean is forced to take care of the Winchester pack after John dies. When shortages begin to force Dean to reconsider his position, he decides to conjoin packs to save everyone he cares for. The Novak pack is willing to take them in, teaching him that there's much more to someone than what skin they've walked in. Alpha/Omega
1. Don't Get Too Close

****Author's Note: _**

**I don't know what it is with me and stories- but they keep coming.  
I guess that's alright...**

**Anyways, I've always had a soft spot for a/b/o fics where there's werewolves and pack dynamics- and I've often found that most of these verses/genres are mostly PWP and lacking any plot/serious emotion. I'm aiming to change that.  
Some of you already know about my plotted and thick-skinned a/b/o fics, but, honestly- I just want everyone to know that there's more to come. I love this verse, even with its kinks, without its sexism and sometimes non-con elements, and I aim to write stories based around it because I find the whole dynamic of it to be interesting for the SPN characters.**

**Thus, this story was born.**

**I kind of wanted a story where circumstance forces Dean to reconsider a lot of things- from letting his pack mold into another, to whether or not the blood in his veins runs Homo Sapien or Canis Lupus- and that there's more to him and things than just what skin he's in. Get ready for a fic where Dean has a heavy heart and conscious, where Cas is trying hard to make someone with a broken heart love again even though he himself has unhealed wounds of his own, and when more than just one person is running from pasts that compose inches of their imperfections and scars.**

**There's more plot too, but... that'll wait till later.**

**Sorry that it seems as though I was working on this instead of my other fics- it's just that this week, my brain has refused to work with me on writing. So, I found this old work of mine stored away and decided to publish it.**

**(See bottom for links to music that I listened to while writing this fic- it'll help you gain a better grip on the writing and its emotion. Then again, it is just a suggestion. So, if you like to listen to One Direction instead, I'm not stopping you.)**

**Enjoy!~**

* * *

_When the days are cold,_

_And the cards all fold,_

_And the saints we see,_

_Are all made of gold._

_When your dreams all fail,_

_And the ones we hail,_

_Are the worst of all,_

_And the blood's run stale._

_I want to hide the truth-_

_I want to shelter you,_

_But with the beast inside,_

_There's nowhere we can hide-_

_No matter what we breed,_

_We still are made of greed-_

_This is my kingdom come-_

_This is my kingdom come._

...

After the sixth wolf pack leaves the Winchester's lands with all of their tails in between their legs, Dean can no longer ignore what is happening. He understands it's a little unusual to have a human running a pack- he really does- but god dammit it shouldn't mean the end of the world. Just because he can't shift into a wolf doesn't give them the right to come parading around his territory with their snouts held high. The thought alone erks Dean.

"Dean," Sammy is behind Dean now, following his older, more-human brother into the living room of their inherited house, "I understand if you're angry about this, but there's no need to threaten cutting someone's tail off-"

"Yeah, Sammy- there is." Dean hisses, "If these sons of bitches think they can just waltz up in here and claim over our territory and me without a fight, they have another thing comin'."

Sammy sighs, and Dean knows that if he were in wolf form, his large, fluffy ears would be held back in annoyance, "I understand if their approach is bothersome, but the idea of combining packs isn't something you should be shying away from…"

The older Winchester groans, rubbing a hand over his face and through his hair, "Yeah- I know- we're neck deep in shit down here… Things aren't perfect, yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm rollin' over to some knot-headed alpha…"

"I never said you had to do that-" Sammy assures, following Dean as he rolls his eyes and begins walking into the kitchen, "just that maybe the whole thing isn't so bad overall."

"Can it, Sammy. I'm not budging on this-"

The younger Winchester growls, and it causes Dean's back to straighten in shock- Sammy never does that unless something is really wrong or is pissing him off- "Dean, we're running low on everything imaginable… Money, food, medicine… We barely had enough ibuprofen to give out when Bobby had his headache yesterday…"

Dean stops arguing then, flopping down into the nearest chair that was open, and he puts his face in his hands, "Yeah, I know, Sammy- things aren't lookin' up for us at the moment… But I promise that things will change for the better."

"How long will you be using that excuse until it sounds like a loop on you, Dean?" Sammy sounds sincere, like he's one more sentence away from bursting into tears- even for an alpha he's always been so damn emotional- "You always said that when John was in the hospital, and look where that got us…"

"Just- … We can't let this beat us, Sammy… Life has its ups and down, we just need to learn-"

"When to give in and when to roll with it…" they murmur in unison, Sammy adding, "Yeah, Dean, I know… It's all you ever tell me anymore…"

The eldest Winchester looks towards the worn floorboards beneath his too-old boots, "I'll see if we can get some jobs here and there… I dunno… I just- I don't think dad wanted us to sell out to someone, is all…"

Sammy sets a hand on Dean's shoulder, fingertips slightly lingering for a split second before lifting themselves away slowly, as though they were uncertain in their placement, "Dad wouldn't have wanted us to starve or wither away, either… Just stop thinking about a dead man's pride and take care of the living, Dean. Especially before we all end up just like him… Sick- or gone…"

Dean closes his eyes as he hears Sammy's footfalls leave the room, and he can't help but bite his lip in frustration. He knows that Sammy is right- that things, no matter what he says, aren't getting better. They're just getting worse, and worse, and before Dean knows it- tragedy will strike their pack again. Dean shudders at the thought of having another funeral to arrange, and decides to take Sammy's words to heart.

Dean heads into his room, opening the outdated laptop his father owned, and lets the screen take a few minutes to whir to life. The steady buzz of the aged thing keeps Dean's mind from wandering off too far, and he finds himself absently clicking onto a few sites focused on getting employment for packs.

John would probably roll over in his grave if he found out what Dean was doing, but like Sammy said, he doesn't have much of a choice. Dean goes under the certain tab John always strayed from clicking on, and begins to fill out the necessary information. After all the blanks are filled, Dean clicks 'submit' and awaits for the inevitable to happen.

**...**

"Hey, Cassie- come look at this!" Gabriel calls from over his shoulder, "Some new pack has declared that they're in a state of emergency!"

The alpha of the Novak pack enters the room with his brother, the omega preening on the couch, "It says here that… Holy shit- Cassie, it's the Winchesters!"

"The Winchesters?" Castiel echoes in impassive disbelief, "I believed that they would be the last pack to file themselves as such…"

"You're tellin' me…" Gabriel murmurs, clicking around on the page, "It says here that John passed away about a month or two ago… Seems like the losses are still comin'..."

Castiel stands back up, spine straightening, losing interest in the situation quickly, "Yes, I suppose they are."

The alpha begins to leave when Gabriel gawks at him, "You're just gonna walk away from this?! You're just gonna leave them out to dry?!"

"Gabriel, it is none of our concern. The Winchesters are in a rough position, that it true, but it does not mean that we need to outstretch a hand when we know others shall do so."

"That makes you sound heartless, Cassie. When did ever believing in people doin' the right thing actually accomplish somethin'?"

Castiel ponders over the words for a moment, nodding, "I suppose your words hold some merit… Tell me more about their situation."

Gabriel smirks widely, knowing that he has changed Castiel's opinion on the matter so easily, "It says here that money began runnin' a little low after the bills from the hospital came through… Food's a little hard to come by now, and medicine is scarce between them all… Shit, Cassie- they don't have enough to make it by the end of the week,_ if_ that…"

"Who is in charge now that John is deceased?"

"Dean Winchester, his eldest son."

"I'll need to discuss with him how to settle with me being the alpha-"

Gabriel holds up a finger, silently quieting his brother, "Seems like you don't have to… Dean-o's apparently human…"

Castiel tilts his head out of newfound interest- in his mind, his wolf perks to attention- "Human? … Dean has no wolf? …"

"Nope- but he's ironically the only one like that in the whole pack. Lil' weird, when you think about it… A human running werewolves around and stuff… It's gotta be like some cheesy bar joke, or somethin'."

"I suppose at some level it is humorous, but for now I am far too concerned with their condition of living to chuckle at an unusual occurrence. Talk to Anna and tell her that we are going to make way over to the Winchester's territory."

Gabriel nods and grins widely, "Alright, Cassie. See what being kind-hearted gets you?"

Castiel is already gone by the time the end of the question is uttered.

**...**

It's four in the damn morning when Dean is woken up.

Normally, Dean would tell whoever the fuck it is to fall on a cactus, but he soon finds that his hostility has to take a back seat. There- on his porch and front lawn- are about five wolves waiting to be seen by him.

Dean groans as he hears the small huffs and whines from the unfamiliar wolves, all of but one shifting uneasily on their paws. He stares at them through the window of his room, wondering about if he can go back to sleep or not. Dean eventually decides that he better not keep them waiting, and begins running a hand through his hair as he makes his way groggily down the steps. When he opens the door, however, he is given an energetic welcome.

Several fur-covered bodies fall onto his as Dean trips over with the momentum thrown onto him, and the eldest Winchester soon finds that several tongues are already licking his face as numerous tails wag heavily with pure, unfiltered happiness. Dean holds up his palms in defense, finding the wolves retreating when a warning growl rings in the air.

Dean finds himself barren of any tongues now, and he sits up to see a large black wolf staring at him with nearly azure eyes. Even when sitting down on the floor, the creature's head is above Dean's own. It causes Dean to swallow nervously, eyes shifting to the floor for a moment as he picks himself up.

"I, uh- hi…" Dean rubs at the back of his neck, the strange, dark wolf being a little over the height of his hip bone, "Wasn't expectin' you guys to show up so late, but, hey- I'm okay with surprises…"

The light above them turns on as Sammy rubs his eyelid, and the raven-haired wolf immediately stands up straighter and puffs out his fur to seem even larger, "What's going on?"

Dean keeps watching the black wolf, its blue eyes never leaving his baby brother, and the actions all scream 'alpha'- "I, uh, took your words to heart, Sammy… I put us up on the employment website- declared a state of emergency… These guys apparently found us and are interested… Just go back to sleep- I'll deal with this for now."

"Alright…" Sammy lingers on the stairs, "Call me if you need anything…"

"Will do."

Dean waits till Sammy is up the stairs before he sighs, tousling his short, spiky hair for a moment, "Yeah, uh- sorry about that. Sammy's no threat or anything, he was just curious as to why you're here on our porch at nearly five in the morning…"

The black wolf gives a snort, tongue flicking out over his nose for a moment before he returns his gaze to Dean. Immediately he seems to relax from his assertive posture.

"Look, I'd hate to ask, but- I need you to shift back… I'm not exactly… _equipped-_ for goin' canine…"

The wolf seems to nod, and he goes outside for a moment. However, this leaves Dean to be with the unknown pack of wolves by his lonesome- sort of. They all stare at him with different shades of irises, and it causes Dean to rub his arms in some attempt to quell his uneasiness. Seconds later, a partially dressed man walks through the doorway before stopping.

"You must be Dean, leader of the Winchester pack." he announces, voice low and gruff, alpha in its entirety.

"I am…" Dean trails off.

The man tilts his head, "Would you like my pack present while I speak to you?"

"This is all of them? …" Dean murmurs, looking at the other four wolves who stare back without much of a care, "That's a little… small-"

The other man snorts, despite himself, Dean grits his teeth in annoyance, "My pack is composed of over thirty wolves in total- bringing them all here would be asking for all sorts of mischief. What about you, Dean? How many members do you have in your pack?"

Dean swallows, flushing awkwardly, "Fifteen…"

"Hm…" the man hums, smirking, "That's a little… _small._"

"Alright, I get it- but bein' some cocky alpha ain't gonna get you anywhere, bubba." Dean hisses, "Even if I am in a 'state of emergency', I can still turn your ass down."

The man smiles, teeth white even though Dean knows they've probably seen a fair share of dark, staining blood- "Feisty even to the end? I must say, the reputation your family has is not one of false words."

Dean huffs an impatient breath, wishing he could go back to sleep, "Yeah well, that's us Winchesters… We never go down without a fight…"

"Indeed, as far as I am noticing. It's what surprised me when your state of unrest was brought to my attention."

"What? Want me to beg for help? …" Dean's voice drops in volume and anger, "Jesus- I _might_ just have to-"

The guy steps forward then, holding out a hand, "I am not a man who gets pleasure from seeing others kneel and plead for my involvement. I am Castiel, alpha of the Novak pack."

Dean slowly outstretches his arm, taking Castiel's palm onto his own and gingerly shaking it, "Yeah, uh, nice to meet you…"

"It is a pleasure…" Castiel keeps the eye contact between them constant, even as he removes his hand from Dean's, "Now, I believe we have business to discuss?"

"Oh, yeah- I guess we have to talk about that… I, uh, look, I know that it's a little bit of an emergency-" Dean winces at the word, "I'd kinda like to get a little shut eye before I go puttin' my life and my pack in someone's hands… If that's alright with you."

Castiel nods simply, "Of course. Maybe some rest would be a good idea, as I am sure my pack mates are tired after the trip here. Do you mind if we sleep outside? We can also keep watch while you and your pack rest as well." he suggests, and already he's acting like he's in charge.

However, Dean's too tired to argue or debate, and he just nods his head, going back up the stairs, "Yeah, sure. Whatever doesn't ruffle your fur…"

As Dean makes it to his room, he checks outside of his window one last time before he goes to bed. Outside- a large raven wolf stands guard.

...

Castiel watches as the night breeze rustles the world around him.

His pack mates sleep with their tails curled around them, one eye open subconsciously to stay on alert. However, it's different when it comes to Gabriel. The omega pads up to his brother, his slightly smaller, golden frame sits down with a small panting noise.

"_If you keep making those sounds, I might not be able to hear any threats._" Castiel huffs.

"_Oh, stop whining-"_ Gabriel replies, flicking a paw over his ear, "_There's not much out here that can hurt the Winchesters… Besides- they may not even join us-"_

Castiel growls slightly to quiet his brother so he can speak, and he sits up in an almost military-like fashion as he responds, "_We do not know for certain if Dean is willing to accept us and infuse our packs together, but the least we can do is give them one night of peace. Even if it seems pointless in many ways to you and others._"

Gabriel licks his nose for a moment, scenting the air, "_Yeah, I suppose you're right… But, hey- maybe this'll earn Dean's trust or somethin'_."

"That was one goal."

Gabriel gives a mock laugh, just a snort in his wolf form, and Castiel is slightly glad for it being so toned down, "_Look at you- already protectin' the Winchesters like they're your own… I saw how you looked at Dean, Cassie. I know what gears are turnin' in that insane, too-formal brain of yours-"_

"_And it is on nothing but the relative subject of negotiation for ourselves and Dean's pack. There is no certain way that my eyes have rested on Dean other than normally. I am afraid you are just imagining things, Gabriel._"

"_Says the one who was scenting him while we were standin' there._" when Castiel turns to look at him, Gabriel's mouth pulls up in a wolfish grin, "_Ah- there it is! The denial! Wow- barely an hour in with meetin' Dean and you're already tail over paws with the guy!"_

Castiel growls a warning to his younger brother, "_Gabriel, quiet. Not only do I need to listen for threats, I am not going to listen to your ranting and theories that are not true. Go sleep with the others, or stay awake while I patrol the grounds. Take your pick._"

Gabriel ducks his head in submission, standing up, "_I'll go curl up with Anna for now, but, I'll have both eyes open…_"

"_Thank you. I will be back in some time._"

Castiel's paws carry him on a medium trot, his nose mainly guiding him. He uses old scent trails from the Winchester pack members as a trail to follow- the scents are mostly unfamiliar, but they create a pathway nonetheless. The whole time Castiel keeps his mouth slightly open, scenting the air and watching for threats. A few minutes in, Castiel finds a rabbit's burrow but nothing else, and he decides that he can return to the house now that he has a better grip on his surroundings.

As his pack mates come into view, still sleeping among one another, the sun is beginning to rise of the roof of the Winchester's home. In the new lighting, Castiel can see its rough condition, and the human part of him remarks in how the structure has not rotted away while it was in use.

"_Cassie!"_ Gabriel jumps up away from Anna's form, paws kicking up some clouds of dirt, "_How was the patrol?"_

"_Thankfully, it was uneventful. Anything to report?"_

Gabriel pads alongside him now, his legs moving slightly faster to keep up with his larger brother, "_No, not really… But I think the house has rats underneath it…_"

Castiel growls lowly, his instincts rearing their head, "_No member of our pack should be around such filth._"

"_Thought that you needed to talk to Dean about that._" Gabriel smugly bumps into Castiel's flank as they jog back up to the house, "_Seems like his little group's grown on you anyway… like a fungus._"

"_Thank you for the mental image, Gabriel. Now, I must see if Dean is willing to speak of our pending agreement._" Castiel shifts immediately, slipping into his clothes that were placed on the peeling banister of the porch, and his jeans hang loosely on his hips as he turns to the omega, "Make sure everyone stays in line, Gabriel. I do not want to deal with you all behaving like a nest full of immature pups here."

Gabriel solutes with his paw, a silent promise to carry on with his orders.

Castiel opens and shuts the door quietly, his tee in his hands as he cautiously steps forward. The alpha tilts his head upwards slightly, scenting the air as much as he can as he puts on his shirt. He can smell coffee brewing in the kitchen, and the sound of some eggs frying in a pan gently reach his ears. Castiel steps forward, following his senses, landing him to see Dean in the kitchen fixing breakfast.

"Hey, Castiel." he grumbles, wiping at one of his eyes groggily, "I honestly thought you and your little pack of ducklings would be back at the nest and pond by now."

"I made a promise to watch over your pack as you slept. I never break my vows, Dean."

The human nods, leaning back against the water-warped surface of the counter, "Yeah, 'bout that… This deal… There's a few things you gotta know."

Castiel silently waits for Dean to continue.

"Sammy, he's an alpha, but he won't get in your way. He's more so of the politician rather than a commanding officer, so if you have legal issues- I suggest speakin' with him. Other than that, he'll leave you alone and let you do your thing." Dean turns his back to Castiel, his voice still steady as he goes on while flipping eggs- as though he rehearsed this conversation without Castiel's presence- "We don't have any omegas, so if you're lookin' for mates or some breedin' type bonus from us, you're not really gettin' anything. Other than Sammy, everyone else is a beta. Minus me, of course, but you already know what I am."

"We did not seek out your misfortune as an attempt to grow our numbers with fertility." Castiel supplies easily, stepping forward to assert his point, "We came here because we wanted to make sure your pack was taken care of."

Dean shrugs nonchalantly, sliding the eggs onto a plate. Castiel watches him, waiting for his reply.

Dean does not touch the eggs once they are set on the counter, and he turns to Castiel, "Yeah, I got that from all of the formal shit you're doin'... and you can knock it off- this whole, 'I gotta be perfect' bull. Use a contraction or somethin'."

Castiel blinks at the words with confusion, "I prefer to speak without them, Dean. I usually do."

"You sound like a damn textbook, then…" he grumbles, closing his eyes, "Look- all I know is that my pack is on its last leg- maybe stump, actually- and I need your help. Are you goin' to give it to us or not?"

"If you are willing to accept it."

"Of course I am." Dean hisses in disbelief, and Castiel is slightly taken aback from the hostility in his words, "Why do you think you were here in the first place?"

Normally, Castiel would give a warning growl or nip to those who spoke rudely to him, but he finds that Dean is an exception. If Castiel were in the same position, he would surely be in the swells of rage as Dean is. However, Castiel darkens his gaze at the human, attempting to seem intimidating. His wolf saunters on the edge of his mind like it always has, waiting for the right time to take control of the reigns if need be.

"When your pack joins into mine- you are under my rules, and I am the alpha." he asserts.

Dean nods, biting his lower lip, "Yeah, I figured…"

Castiel holds his chin up a little higher now as he speaks, "You and your pack will answer to me, and once we get you settled, your roles will be assigned to you. However, I have an adamant feeling yours will be different due to your…" Castiel trails off to find a word.

"Humanity."

The alpha watches as Dean shuffles slightly, "Yes, humanity. There will be work to be done, and do not expect to be coddled or given a free ride. Everyone in my pack contributes. If they do not, they leave."

"Got it…" Dean doesn't look as Castiel as he says it, as though he's only partially in the conversation mentally.

"So it is done, now? The Winchester pack is now officially bound to the Novaks?"

Dean nods absently, eyes distant even though he is only a few feet away, "Yeah… sure."

Castiel glances towards Dean once more, and then leaves.

The eggs remain untouched on the counter.

**...**

Dean's mind is swimming as he packs his bags.

If he thought this was going to be easy… _shit-_ he was wrong.

His throat constricts as he puts his last shirt into his bag- it's the faded Iron Maiden tee his dad gave him when he was nineteen. It had been a hard year for Dean- especially hard- and John was one of the very few people who knew about what had happened among those countless seconds of the three-hundred-and-sixty-five days. For the eldest Winchester son, this is probably the second most hardest point of his life.

His boots scuffle the wooden floor, the beams creaking under his weight as he lingers in the doorway. The bed is barren, mattress worn and lumpy, and the nightstand beside it is uneven from where it lost one of its bottom pegs. Sunlight drifts through the cloudy window pains, illuminating the room in a soft glow as Dean looks at its simplicity one last time. A tear forms at the rim of his eye, and Dean clicks the switch down to turn off the light.

His old room shall remain dark and unused.

Dean's old life is about an hour or so behind him now.

Wolves travel beside him- some from his own pack, some from Castiel's- and they silently parade across fields of uncut grass and wildflowers. Castiel leads from the front, his midnight-black coat glossy among the strands of light as he jogs ahead of the group. Dean kind of feels out of place, especially when he's being the only one with thumbs and skin as they travel.

Currently, he is sitting on Sammy's back, riding him much like someone would a horse. His legs are on the sides of his brother's ribs, and the wiry brown fur is coarse against Dean's fingertips as he grips onto his younger brother's scruff. He feels so small now that everyone is in wolf form, and he can't help but cower on his brother's spine at the fact even the smallest of the herd is about the size of a Great Dane.

Fuck being human, sometimes, man.

Sammy's head tilts back, forming a slight huff that Dean has associated with the words 'are you okay' over the years, and he manages a weak nod. The sun is a little too hot on his skin as they march on like soldiers, but he can deal with it since he's the only one not wearing a large, full-bodied fur coat.

It seems, however, that the heat gets to the wolves, and soon Dean finds them resting near some stream in the beginning edge of a forest. Birds chirp sweetly around them as light filters through the leaves, large wolves splashing playfully in the cool stream of water as though they were pups as Dean watches on.

Sammy rests beside Dean, his head on his paws, body stretched out and used as a headrest for Dean. The eldest Winchester rubs softly through his brother's fur, trying to coax the feeling of technically being homeless out of their minds by physical touch. Dean is currently the only one other than Castiel who isn't in wolf form- and it seems as though the alpha in question has a few things to say. He approaches Dean and his baby brother, nothing but a pair of jeans adorning his hips.

"How are you doing so far?" he asks Dean, "Do you need any food or water?"

Dean is about to object to both when his stomach growls, and he shuts his mouth from where he was going to speak.

"I'll take that as a yes?" Castiel smirks, "Luckily for you, my brother Gabriel has a sweet tooth and can never stop eating."

Dean just nods, mumbling a thank you as Castiel leaves to get him whatever they have available, and Dean just tries to relax by pressing closer into Sammy's frame. His younger brother curls up more around Dean to the point where he can gently lick his face in a comforting gesture. They both trying their hardest to make the other feel better about leaving the only home they've ever had.

Castiel returns moments later in wolf form, slightly dampened now by river water as he opens his mouth, dropping a wrapped granola bar onto the ground. Dean stares at it for a moment, wondering what to do. In the end, Castiel has to use his snout to push forward the offering of food, azure eyes staring heavily at Dean as he awaits acceptance.

"Thanks…" Dean murmurs, and he unwraps the bar and begins to nibble on it, "Tell Gabriel I said it, too… Considering I stole his snack or somethin'..."

Castiel gives a curt nod, and then bark something that makes all of the wolves perk up- including Sammy. Dean awkwardly sits in silence, his lips still around the bar as Castiel says something else he can't understand, and soon all of the wolves are regathering and regrouping to leave. Dean stands up with Sammy, quickly eating the bar and giving his baby brother a pat on the head before he gets onto his back again.

It's a long ride till they reach 'home'.

**...**

Dean is silent most of the way to Castiel's territory.

He doesn't whisper witty remarks in Sammy's ear, and he doesn't crack a wise joke here and there. All in all, his mouth stays shut as Castiel pads up to Sammy. The wolf's eyes latch onto Dean, pupil expanding as the eldest Winchester stares back, and he gives a small yip to assert something to Sammy. The whole time, his eyes never leave Dean, even when Sammy becomes stiff and others from Dean's old pack come to flank around him.

Protection already? …

Dean is wary and confused as to why wolves are guarding his sides, but as Castiel's pack- his full pack- comes into view, Dean doesn't wonder why anymore. Hungry eyes and sharp teeth greet him as they pass over the invisible barrier, all wanting to nip and taste him as he passes through. There's some growls and whines, and it's more of a grating, hopeless feeling when Dean can't understand them or retort back as Sammy snarls towards some. Castiel is doing the same, clearing a pathway through the large body of wolves so Dean's little caravan of bodies can pass through without much of a problem.

Dean grips tightly onto Sammy's coat, lowering himself onto his brother's body as more and more wolves surround him. They cause his heart rate to skyrocket, his hands to tremble, and his lungs to seem as though they've swelled shut. Dean knows this feeling well- panic- and finds his mind pulling a blank as the feeling worsens as they continue onwards. By the time Castiel gets them past the pack of foreign and overwhelming wolves, Dean is nearly unresponsive within his fear.

Someone pulls Dean off of Sammy's back in haste, dragging Dean onto their chests as his eyes remain wide in fear and his mouth sealed from the adrenaline. His breathing is ragged and rough, nothing but short and uneven exhales that are passing through Dean's nose. Sammy shifts quickly after Dean is off of his spine, and he rushes over to his brother in an attempt to comfort him.

"Hey, Dean…" he says calmly, "Come on- it's okay now. We're safe. You're safe."

Dean shakes his head, disbelieving those words.

"There's nothing here that can hurt us."

Dean snorts despite the uncertainty that is running rampant all over him- in mind and in body.

Fingers begin brushing through his hair, and almost immediately, Dean finds himself slightly falling out of his panicked trance. Slowly, his chest begins to sync in with the one rising and falling beneath him, and he closes his eyes to relax more. Sammy doesn't say another word about anything, but his presence is still felt as Dean calms down from his panic high, waiting to see if Dean is alright.

It's a shame, really, because Dean passes out as soon as he feels remotely normal.

**...**

Castiel carries Dean up the stairs, the human's head lolling onto his chest as he ascends.

Castiel feels some remorse for the things that have happened, and he believes that there is some slight responsibility on his part for causing Dean to become so overwhelmed. It's his pack members that pushed Dean over his edge, and he plans on reprimanding them for all of the things said about 'clean blood' or 'fresh meat'. Dean, even when human, is a part of this pack- and no member of the Novak clan will ever be afraid to walk in their own territory.

Castiel brings Dean to his room, setting him down in the bed as he covers him up with his sheets. The human groans in his sleep, tossing slightly to make himself comfortable. The alpha pulls his blanket over Dean's slumbering form, and Castiel decides then that Dean can be housed alongside the other wolves. If Dean were to be placed among the rest of the members, Castiel is aware of the distinct possibility that someone would end up hurting Dean, or even changing him.

It's a well known fact that most werewolves enjoy the scent and taste of human blood, so Castiel is reasonably worried for Deans safety. He knows he would be a bit of a hypocrite if he were to judge or punish his pack mates for their feral, animalistic desires, but he cannot trust them. At least with Dean. Not when everything is still too fresh and delicate between the Winchesters and the Novaks. Dean getting hurt by an unruly wolf under Castiel's command would cause an irreversible rift to form in between them, and Castiel knows that Sam will fight him if Dean gets hurt. If there's anything Castiel wants to avoid, it's political problems within his own territory.

Dean groans something unintelligible in his sleep, curling up in Castiel's bed as the alpha watches over him quietly. Dean's neck is slightly exposed, the wolf in Castiel sensing the erratic heartbeat of fear pulsing underneath the flesh. His canine side tells him to surge forward and drink up the viscous liquid located under Dean's skin, but Castiel's morals and human mind refuse. In that moment, when the alpha himself is finding the urge to bite and taste hard to resist, Castiel decides that he will let Dean stay in his room for safety purposes. At least until a new plan is formed between them, the couch or something else will serve Castiel's needs just fine.

Castiel cracks his door open just in case Dean wakes, then proceeds to head back to his duties as alpha. However, he finds that his mind wanders to the person laying unconsciously among his sheets.

**...**

Dean opens his eyes to find himself in someone else's bed.

Normally, he would flip out or something, but he understands that right now- any bed will be foreign to him. The eldest Winchester rubs at his eyes, sitting up slightly onto his elbow to survey the area.

There's not much in the room around him. Nothing but the common things even a hotel would have. The sunlight coming through the window allows Dean to figure out that it's probably around five in the afternoon. He pulls the sheets away from his body, feet softly sounding on the wooden floor. Surprisingly, that's when Castiel walks in.

"Oh, hey." Dean rubs the back of his neck, an exhale tumbling over his lips, "I, uh- sorry about earlier."

"It is alright, Dean." Castiel walks over to the dresser, setting some things out onto it, "My pack can sometimes be... a handful, to say at the very least. If they came on too strong, then I apologize."

Dean just looks off to the side, rubbing at his arm, "Yeah, it's okay… I get it- I'm a human in the middle of a werewolf pack… I must look like a piece of raw meat to you guys…"

Castiel smirks at the words, as though it were some joke, "In some ways, I suppose that is true… However, that does not excuse them for treating you as such."

"Thanks, Castiel…" Dean walks over to the door, "I'm gonna go check in on Sammy and the others while you… do your thing."

Dean walks past Castiel, his arm brushing against the alpha's as he does so, and Dean hurries down the hallway to find his brother.

He finds Sammy integrating with the others. He's in his wolf form nipping at one of the pack members flank. The wolf yips, turning to give a growl of warning to Sammy, but its eyes are playful.

"Sammy?" Dean asks, walking up to the group of canines making him suddenly feel awkward.

Sammy shifts almost immediately, giving his brother a hug before pulling back, "You okay? You gave us a scare back there…"

"I'm fine- everything's fine." Dean glances at the other wolves watching him, "I just wanted to see how things were goin'..."

Sammy doesn't bring up the whole fainting incident, and Dean's glad, "It's going good so far. Bobby seems to be getting along just fine, and everyone else has fallen into place nicely…" Sammy hesitates, "What about you, Dean? How's the change so far?"

Dean wants to tell his brother that this is a strange experience altogether for him, that he misses the old house and the life he knew. Sure, people probably considered it one of hardship and problems, but Dean found some silver linings on that storm cloud. After all, no precious flower could ever grow without a little rain.

"Okay, I guess. Just tired…"

Sammy nods and glances back towards the mass of wolves, "You know…" he murmurs, "With all of these new pack members, it's gonna be hard on you being the only human…"

"Sammy-" Dean hisses, rolling his eyes, "my humanity isn't some damn plague. I understand that I can't do things like you guys- that I can't magically snap my fingers and somehow shift into Balto- but that's okay. I can deal with that kinda thing."

"I wasn't saying you couldn't. Just that the others who may not know how to control their basic instincts might have issues with you."

Dean sighs, looking towards the ground, "Yeah- I know… I don't know what I'm gonna have to do about it- but I'll manage."

Sammy takes the words in, hazel eyes lingering on Dean's face before averting to look back at the wolves. It's a silent 'we'll talk about this later' thing, and Dean knows it. Yet- he doesn't care too much. Sammy can go ahead and pry- he's got nothing to hide.

Dean walks away then, arms wrapped around himself as he decides to venture around the Novak territory. Thankfully, even without the scents to follow, Dean uses the dirt trail worn into the ground by paws as his guide. Cicadas hum around him, the air hot and the sky a bright blue as he slowly strolls. Birds fly past his head and into the thick lines of trees to his side, their chirps coming to intertwine with the soft sway of overgrown grass blowing in the wind. Dean has to admit it- Castiel's territory looks absolutely beautiful.

The human's boots touch onto the ground, soft and opaque clouds of dirt rising into the air with his footfalls. It's peaceful, and a small wave of calm rushes into Dean's senses. Dean feels relaxed here- safe. It's better than what he's felt like for a long time, especially with the stresses of John dying and taking care of so many people who were in need with so little to give. The idea of having to take care of fifteen people when you can't take care of yourself is a hell within itself, and Dean has to admit that Castiel coming to help them out was nothing short of a miracle.

Dean's wandering in his mind caused him to forget where he was going, finding that the path widened out into the bank of a stream. Dean blinks at the running water, eyes finding a rock quarry edging along the sides of it. Leaves hang down like vines, and a soft breeze passes among the mossy trunks.

"Seems like you had an adventure." a voice sounds behind Dean, causing him to jump.

Dean turns to find Castiel standing there, head tilted in curiosity, naked as the day he was born.

"Shit! Castiel!" Dean looks away, blushing furiously, "You can't just sneak up on me completely naked!"

Castiel just seems to get even more curious, head tilting further, and he smirks, "Nudity is a common thing among wolves. From running and living with a pack, you should be used to a little exposed skin."

"Yeah- but..." Dean sighs, "I'm not expecting someone to run up behind me or anything... It's like some horror movie- a murdering nudist..."

Castiel chuckles, crossing his arms, "So, would you mind to explain why you wandered off of my land and into a neighbor's territory?"

Dean swallows, "I- uh- shit, Castiel- I _didn't_ know I swear-"

"It is fine, Dean." Castiel assures, "You did not know the boundaries."

"I know- I don't have a scent tracker like you guys..." Dean sighs in defeat, "I'm not in time out, am I?"

Castiel chuckles but shakes his head, "No. Normally, there would be some scolding and light punishment, but my pack and I can tell we're the lines stop and begin. You, however, are flying blind."

Dean nods accordingly, "Alright- as long as I'm not causing any issues..."

"I can put markers up for you, if you wish."

"Yeah, sure..." Dean murmurs, looking off into the trees to avoid Castiel's gaze, "Anything to keep this from happening again..."

Instead of saying anything else, both Castiel and Dean look towards the stream. Water flows easily through the curves and bends of rocks and soil, its trickle soothing something raw in Dean as he lets out a breath. God- it's been so long since he could just let go of all of his stresses, and feeling this… this reprieve- it's like finding solitude. Peace.

Castiel comes to stand at Dean's side, watching the stream run with Dean silently. The birds overhead sing their songs, the grass hums its swaying lullaby, and the trees stand overlooking the forest with a sense of timeless knowledge. It's indescribable- the complexity of sounds and sights- but good nonetheless.

"Come on…" Castiel says softly near Dean's ear, "I am sure this is enough time spent outside of our borders…"

"Yeah- right…" Dean has to snap back into reality, eyes leaving the stream to look at Castiel.

Castiel smiles slightly as Dean waits for him to do something- considering the alpha is the only one who can even lead Dean back to his pack at this point. Castiel shifts into his wolf form in a fluid transition, much like the water passing over the riverbed.

Castiel huffs, causing Dean to notice that his snout is pointing at his back. Dean raises an eyebrow, deciding to take a few steps forward to bring a hand to Castiel's coat. The wolf stares at Dean's fingers, their tips embedding themselves in the raven fur as to ask a silent question. When Castiel licks at Dean's wrist, Dean supposes that it's alright now- and he slowly puts his legs on Castiel. As his hips settle along the hard line of the alpha's spine, Castiel begins to trot away from the stream and back towards his territory.

Dean ends up having to hold on to Castiel as he begins to sprint, the speed causing Dean to feel as though he was one second away from falling off and onto the ground. The human's fingertips hold onto Castiel's scruff tightly in an attempt to hold on, but as Castiel nearly flings him off by stopping abruptly, Dean believes that Castiel is trying to kill him by flinging him off of his back.

"Castiel-" Dean begins to say as the alpha rolls over, forcing Dean onto the ground who gives a sound of pain and has surprise towards the action.

Suddenly, Castiel's snout is in his face, and the wolf is snarling at Dean. Dean's heart races in his chest from fear, his breath catching in his throat as Castiel's eyes search for any sign of submission. Dean remembers John telling him once that alpha's don't like it when they don't see someone submit when they are looking for it, and that things can get ugly- fast. So in light of that memory and information, Dean lowers his gaze and bares his neck in the universal sign of: _okay, you're in control here- not me._

The alpha relaxes at the action, his lips receding over his sharpened teeth. Dean waits for a moment, the position he's in not giving him the ability to look at Castiel without the risk of setting him off. Castiel is suddenly sniffing at Dean's neck, his cold nose causing a shiver to run through Dean as the alpha scents him. Dean is pretty sure that Castiel would normally refrain from this if he could, but knowing how wolves get when instincts rear their heads, he's more than likely in a mental haze at the moment. Dean doesn't know if he should be worried as a tongue begins to lap at his skin.

Dean tries to scurry away somehow, palms pushing up against the dirt to gain leverage, but the wolf has none of it. Its teeth nip at Dean's skin, a warning, and immediately Dean stills from his attempt to escape.

_Breathe- just breathe._

Dean attempts to calm himself as the wolf licks his exposed neck. Stalks of grass poke uncomfortably into Dean's back, causing him to feel as though tiny, blunt knives were digging into his flesh. However, it's not of priority- because the biggest thing that's worrying him are the teeth that are now trying to break his skin.

With a shove, Dean pushes Castiel off with as much force as he can manage. The alpha lands on the ground with a yelp, Dean finding that the wolf's confusion gives him time to run. A small voice in the back of his head tells him that fleeing isn't the best of options, but Dean still decides that he'll deal with the consequences as they come rather than avoid them.

Dean runs as fast as he can, his feet pounding against the dirt as he makes a break for the house in the distance. He knows by the sight of the wolves sunbathing and Sammy trotting around that at least he's not heading off into another pack's territory again. Lord knows Dean has crossed some line too many times today.

Sammy sees his brother in panic, shifting quickly as Dean runs, "Dean-"

"Can't talk right now, Sammy!" he yells, Dean trying his hardest to now beat the sound of thudding paws behind him in speed.

"Shit, is that-_ Castiel!"_ Sammy snarls, shifting back into his wolf form again to get the alpha away from Dean.

Dean's mind is a loop of curse words as Castiel speeds up, his snout nearing Dean's legs as he tries to bite the denim Dean's wearing. Sammy is on his trail though, quickly throwing Castiel off from his intended target and barreling them into a nearby group of wolves. Dean stops running immediately, the soles of his boots digging into the dirt below to slow himself, and tries to help with the mass of flailing paws. Castiel and Sammy, however, have different plans.

Castiel immediately jumps up and snarls at Sammy, raven ears flattened to his skull as Sammy growls back. They start circling one another, their teeth bared and fur puffed up in irritation. Dean watches with worry in his chest, hoping to whoever is listening that the two alphas don't kill each other or something.

"What's happening?" someone asks, coming up to stand beside Dean, "Why is Cassie and your brother flippin' shit?"

"I just- it's all my fault…" Dean says in defeat, the two wolves only getting closer to ripping the other's throat out.

The man tilts his head, "Your fault?"

Dean looks on with a solemn expression, his arms coming to circle his frame, "I went over the borders without knowing it… But- Castiel didn't seem too angry since there was no possible way for me to tell… Anyways, he'd offered a ride back, but when he began sprinting, I had to hold onto his scruff to stay on-"

"You did what?" the man beside him asks comically, "Dean- you have to understand that grabbing an alpha like that is almost like… taboo, right?"

"No-" Dean grimaces, feeling even worse already, Castiel and Sammy snarl once more, "I'm human, remember? I have no fuckin' clue as to what's right and what's not…"

The man beside him sighs, starting to guide Dean back to the house, "Come on, we're just going to have to let them fight this out. Trying to break them up isn't gonna do us any good… My name's Gabriel- I'm Castiel's younger brother."

Dean nods, letting Gabriel take him inside, "Nice to meet you… Sorry about all the trouble I've caused… I'm sure you, Castiel, and your pack mates want to rip out my throat already…"

"That's not true, Dean. You're human- we know you don't understand. Don't act like it's a bad thing that you don't. There's just… things you won't be able to notice because of it."

"Like the borders?" Dean supplies sadly, "Yeah- I haven't been here for twenty-four hours and I've already caused an uproar among you guys… I won't be surprised if you decide to kick me out."

Gabriel looks at Dean seriously then, expression stern as he lets Dean sit down on a couch, "We're not going to do that, Dean. Cassie isn't one for kicking people out of his pack unless he has a damn good reason to. Just because you made a few mistakes because you were unaware of things doesn't mean that you're a liability."

Dean gives a sarcastic chuckle, "Yeah, well, try convincing the world that…"

Gabriel watches Dean with a pitying expression, and Dean hates it- hates it because he probably looks like some air-headed idiot who is trying to live in a world he doesn't belong in. It's literally like he's a sheep in the middle of a wolf pack- it's bound to lead to trouble and his demise in some way.

"I know how you feel, to some extent at least…" Gabriel murmurs quietly.

"How's that?" Dean scoffs, "Last time I checked you were on four legs instead of two."

Gabriel furrows his brow, gaze heated with an anger that causes Dean to quiet himself, "You act as though you're the only one who feels like everyone treats them differently because of something you can't control. For you- it's humanity- for me- it's because I'm an omega."

Dean looks down at the floor, feeling guilt rise into his throat like bile.

"Every single day since I presented, I've been given fucking hell because of what I am. Every damn alpha or beta expects me to bare my throat and submit- and when my heat rolls around… Well- I get too many assholes at my bedroom door who think they can pick a lock. I've been treated like a piece of meat most of my life- so I fucking understand why you think you're nothing but one here."

Dean can't even meet Gabriel's eyes, mumbling, "Sorry- I didn't know… I can't- I can't smell it like you guys can… I'm flyin' blind…"

This makes Gabriel soften up again- realizing that there was no possibility Dean would have been aware of his gender without being informed, and he comes to sit beside the human, offering comfort. Dean relaxes slightly, hoping he didn't screw everything up too royally so far.

"You know, we aren't all you crack us up to be…"

The quiet words cause Dean to glance up at the omega, blinking, "What do you mean by that? …?"

Gabriel gives a sad smile, looking at the coffee table, but his mind is distant- trapped within his thoughts- "We have our own pasts and problems to deal with. We're just as human as you are in some ways- especially when it comes to making the wrong choices and mistakes. There are some of us here with… dark clouds- hanging over our heads…"

"Should I be worried about that?" Dean asks honestly, "There isn't going to be some like… interrogation process if I know anything, right?"

"We're not a mafia, Dean. We're just a pack of werewolves trying to find order among the chaos." there's sounds of the fight outside, "As you can tell- we're not exactly makin' a paradise for ourselves."

Dean chuckles at the comment, finding a small smirk appearing on Gabriel's face, "Yeah- I don't see any palm trees or beaches nearby."

Gabriel rolls his eyes, "Totally."

It's then of course, that Sammy walks in with scratches over his skin, Castiel following suit.

"Dean, he didn't hurt you did he?" there's an edge of anger to Sammy's voice as he kneels down in front of his brother.

"No, he didn't…" Dean mumbles, finding Sammy overlooking his skin- especially at his neck- for any signs of damage that obviously state otherwise.

Castiel stands behind Sammy silently, Dean looking up to find that those blue irises are watching him heavily as Sammy inspects his flesh.

"His scent is all over you…" Sammy murmurs with furious eyes, and he stands up, growling when he turns to Castiel, "You bastard-"

"Sammy!" Dean tries to stop the fight before it has a chance to start, but of course, nothing seems to work out in his favor.

"You lay a hand- paw- tooth- nail- fucking _anything_ on my brother again like that and I'll make you into a damn shag carpet!" Sammy snarls, his wolf seeming to seep through his anger.

Castiel glares at Sammy, "I assure you, what happened today with Dean was not my intention. I can deny my instincts as well as you can-"

"Bullshit!" Sammy growls, his finger pointing accusingly towards the pack alpha, "You can easily ignore your wolf and leave shit be- but_ no-_ you have to fucking chase my brother like some baby rabbit during hunting season!"

Castiel seems like he's seconds away from shifting himself, his rage causing the air to sour severely in the room- Gabriel and Dean are watching him snarl without much of an idea on how to calm him- "It does not matter, you are not in charge here. I am the alpha of this pack, not you, so the fantasy on giving me orders is one of your own invention. However, I did not mean to be so rough with Dean, but my wolf does not particularly enjoy its superiority being questioned- much like what you are doing now. So, Sam, if there is one smart thing you could do during your life, it would be to _back off_ and _learn your place._"

"I won't until you promise me that you won't chase my brother or pin him down to the ground again, understood!? I don't give a damn if you're my alpha or not- because I will still fucking attack you if you even try to nibble on Dean!"

"I would believe the valid term for you is a hypocrite." Castiel growls at Sammy, inching forward like a predator on its prey, "Last time I saw you, Gabriel was at the end of your nose."

Gabriel flushes red beside Dean, and immediately the older Winchester is feeling awkward from the situation and all that it is revealing, so he decides to try and stop this before it gets too far, "Come on, guys, there's been enough fighting so far today."

Gabriel nods his head in agreement, "Yeah, let's listen to Dean and stuff."

"Thank you, Gabriel. At least you're on my side-"

"Silence Gabriel!" Castiel yells as soon as Sammy growls, "Shut up, Dean!"

The two alphas glare at each other before snarling, suddenly shifting again and ripping at each other like the feral animals they technically are.

"Shit-" Gabriel jumps off of the couch alongside Dean, both barreling into the fight to break them up before they bring the whole house down around them.

Ironically, in the end, it's brothers holding brothers in line. Dean's forearm is wrapped around Sammy's neck, pulling him back as he growls at Castiel. Gabriel pushes with both arms on Castiel's chest to stop him, the alpha's nails scraping into the wood below from the restrained power behind them.

"Chill the fuck out!" Gabriel scolds, and he smacks Castiel on the nose like a puppy who needed punishment because it peed on the carpet.

Castiel whines at the pain, his paw coming to rub at his snout as Gabriel sighs in defeat, slouching over with exhaustion.

Dean pets Sammy behind the ears, the strokes of his fingers making his baby brother calm down bit by bit as Sammy breathes heavily. Sammy's form- which is around Dean's torso- begins to loosen its muscles slightly, the fur matted in places from where blood slicks it.

"Come on, Sammy…" Dean grabs onto the scruff of Sammy's neck- something he's done since they were kids- and begins to lead his baby brother into the back to wash him off.

**...**

Castiel watches in amazement as Sam lets Dean grab onto his scruff.

For him, the touch set something off in his mind- like some bomb exploded and there were no places for the heat and fire to escape. With all of the pent up force in Castiel's mind, his wolf decided to snap from it. Castiel didn't mean for anything to happen, he really didn't, but his wolf has a habit of taking control of him when he doesn't want it to.

At the thought of that, Castiel shivers, causing Gabriel to come over to him in concern.

"I know…" he murmurs, petting Castiel's head softly, not having to lean down as Castiel reaches his collarbone, "It reminds you of her, doesn't it? …"

A low whine escapes Castiel at the words, his body buckling down before he whimpers in defeat. Gabriel, the saint that he is, shifts into his wolf form again before lying down next to Castiel.

"_It's going to be alright…_"

Castiel just hides his face under his paws.

* * *

**Songs Used for Writing: _**

**1. The Letter - "The Town" Soundtrack**

**2. Dean/Castiel ~ Young and Beautiful Collab**

**3. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire [Original Movie Soundtrack] - ****Good Morning Sweetheart**


	2. It's Dark Inside

****Author's Note:_**

**This was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but... well, I added so much plot to it and it was so lengthy that I had to turn it into a multiple chaptered fic.**

**Whoo.**

**Anyways, there's more exploration to Dean's past, alongside with a new problem they must face.  
I don't wanna summarize it- so I won't.  
Also, it's sad as frick.**

**Enjoy?~**

* * *

The water is bubbly and red as it drains back into the sink basin.

"Shit- Sammy, you gotta sit _still._" Dean chastises, taking the washcloth and rubbing the sections of fur where blood clumped in it, "I can't fix anything if you won't let me."

Sammy gives a whine of discomfort, shifting uneasily on his front paws.

"If you're going to complain, then maybe you shouldn't have gotten into that fight-"

Sammy glares at Dean, his lips pulling over his teeth as he lets out a rumble of warning. Dean figures that it's Sammy's way of telling him to shut the fuck up, and he just smirks as he wipes away the blood.

"Yeah, I know, you knucklehead…" Dean affectionately bumps heads with Sammy, the wolf letting out a happy yip as Dean scratches behind his ear, "Thanks for standing up for me… Even if I think that I didn't need it."

Sammy nibbles at Dean's ear, his way of telling Dean that he disagrees.

"Look- it was my fault that Castiel was angry in the first place, alright? …" Dean wrings out the washcloth in the pink water, bringing it back to a nasty cut on Sammy's snout, "There's no need for you to be barking up his tree because_ I_ did something wrong."

Sammy tilts his head, making a small noise to ask Dean to continue on with an explanation.

"I just- I don't know how I can function here, Sammy…" Dean looks down towards the floor tiles in shame, "I can't understand you guys when in wolf form- I can't even smell the scent marks on the borders… Castiel found me wandering in another pack's territory, Sammy… I had no clue where I was- I just went wherever my feet took me… Sammy, I- I don't belong here…"

Immediately, Sammy is licking at Dean's face and whining, offering up his own reply with his versions of 'that's not true' and 'stop degrading yourself'. Dean knows this from their previous talks while Sammy was canine instead of a man, and their own little language was formed through the barrier of different species. Dean gives his brother a sad smile, one that doesn't quite make it across his lips before falling away.

"Yeah, I know- I'm important to you… But, Sammy…" Dean shakes his head, looking down to the floor with watery eyes, "I just- I couldn't even make it in our own pack… I couldn't take care of you guys- I lost almost everyone and everything because I didn't know what to do and how to do it… Just- where along the lines did I ever earn the right to stay here among you guys?"

Sammy tilts Dean's head up with his nose slowly, jade eyes meeting hazel, and his tongue gently wipes away the tears Dean makes. Sammy ends up resting his head on Dean's shoulder, making a soft whine noise before Dean hugs him back, sobbing into his fur.

**...**

Dean wakes up in the morning to find storm clouds overhead. Sammy is curled up on the floor of his new-to-him room, allowing Dean the comforts of his mattress. It was a nice favor of him, and Dean will have to thank him in some way later. For now though, he's got to find Castiel and apologize for whatever happened yesterday.

He and Sammy had a long talk last night- one that was about almost everything. He was worried that Dean was not okay with the Novak pack, and maybe Castiel's actions caused the discomfort- but Dean had shot that idea down as quickly as it came. There's no way that coming to the Novak pack caused feelings he's been having since he could remember the Winchesters first living among wolves. It just wasn't possible. Well, either way, Dean decided that Castiel was owed a sorry or two for what happened nonetheless.

Dean hurriedly gets dressed, throwing on sweats and his faded red hoodie as Sammy slumbers off to the side. The wood is soft on the soles of Dean's feet as he quickly looks out of the window to check the weather outside. The distant sound of thunder and opaque flashes of lightning in the dark clouds make Dean pull his hoodie closer to his skin, deciding that maybe going outside today to walk again was a bad idea…

Dean exits into the hallways, preparing himself for talking to Castiel.

All of the werewolves- now in human form since they are indoors- are passing by Dean quietly as if he didn't exist. It feels weird, like it's some type of depressed hotel for wayward souls that only cared about themselves. Dean is something unimportant- similar to a shadow upon the wall- there, but just something you notice when you want to give it attention.

"Heya there, Dean-o!" a voice sing-songs, and Dean suddenly finds an arm wrapped on his shoulder, "Isn't it weird? I thought cats were supposed to be afraid of water!"

"Oh- hey, Gabriel. Nice joke- I think it explains why no one's outside…" Dean lets the omega walk beside him down the hallway, more people passing them by as if there were phantoms- altogether invisible to their normal eyes and senses.

Gabriel hands Dean a muffin out of nowhere- it's blueberry, thank God- "Yeah, Castiel isn't fond of thunderstorms here. Sometimes the stream can flood over and well- we don't like have to go searching for people caught up in the currents."

"Understandable…" Dean murmurs as he nibbles on the food Gabriel gave him, "Hey, how is he doing? He seemed- off- when Sammy and I left…"

Gabriel's eyes harden a bit as he looks forward, bringing Dean into a sitting room before letting Dean get a seat on the couch, other members of the pack walking by as he speaks, "He's doing okay… He hates it whenever his wolf side gets the better of him… It happens a lot…"

"Are you worried about him going rogue then?" Dean asks, tilting his head, "I heard that it's common for people to get stuck as their wolves sometimes… It's even rarer for them to be stuck as a human…"

"Yeah, I worry about it a lot… He's at the ends of the spectrum, honestly. Some days he's more of a human, some days he's more of a wolf… I know that it sounds weird, but- you can just tell… like he's fraying at the edges…"

Dean looks down at his muffin, finding no need or want to finish it, so he holds it in his fingers as though it's the most precious thing in the world, "I can see why you're worried… We, uh- we had another brother, Sammy and I… His name was Adam…"

"Dean, you don't have to-"

"No… it's fine…" Dean reassures, and suddenly there's more than one person listening into the conversation as Dean clears his throat, "He was the youngest out of all of us, but the also the best one… I don't know why or how, but Adam had a heart of gold, and no matter what you did… you could see it…" Dean looks towards the floor then, his throat already feeling constricted, "Even though he was our half-brother, Sammy and I loved him like nothin' else… but… one day, after Adam presented when he was sixteen… things just went south…"

"Dean-"

Dean goes on anyways, ignoring Gabriel's worried tone, "He just started actin'... different. John, my dad, didn't know what was going on… We tried sending him to doctors and people like that- even got him on medication- but nothing worked. Then, once after Adam shifted, he didn't change back…"

There's random people standing silently around Dean, listening- watching. Gabriel is quiet on the chair opposite of Dean, and the air hangs heavily around the words that have cut through it.

"It was like he was some animal after that…" Dean can't help but watch as several tears fall to the floor, sliding down his cheeks and dripping onto the wooden boards below, "He attacked Sammy and John after they tried to coax him into his room, and after that- we treated him like he was something feral… We called specialists, priests, voodoo witch doctors- anyone who'd listen and help us… It's one reason we lost so much money and stuff- because no matter what we did… we had some benign hope that Adam would have a recovery…" Dean wipes furiously at his face, his voice starting to break through his crying, "It didn't work- none of it did- and we soon had to cage Adam up like a damn dog because he kept trying to attack anyone… After that, we knew… We knew that the Adam we grew up with and loved- loved so fucking much- was gone… John didn't speak much after that, and Sammy and I were worried that he'd gone mute on us… He'd just sit in front of Adam's cage in a chair, sometimes in wolf form, and he's just stare at him… The whole time Adam was snarling and growling- attacking the bars because John was there- was looking at him in the eyes… I guess John was trying to see if Adam was still in there- was somehow still alive, but… we all knew he wasn't…"

Suddenly, Dean finds Sammy's hand on his shoulder, but, instead of stopping him, Sammy just reassures him with his presence- and now even more people are listening- "Everything fell through the day that Adam tried to attack and bite me… I had been trying to give him some more food and water when he broke the latch on the cage, and he jumped at me… I remember that John and Sammy had to get him off of me- but those few seconds… those few seconds… I felt like I was about to be murdered by my own brother… John, even despite his never ending hope for Adam's return, decided that Adam was more wolf than he was human, and that he was a threat to everyone and everything around him…" Sammy's hand tightens on Dean's shoulder as a sign of recognition, because he knows what is about to be said- "John put him down- or… put the wolf down… Just- the hardest part of it all was… Sammy and I had to lose our brother twice before it was all over…"

It's then, of course, that Castiel walks into the room.

**...**

The scent of distress is what caused Castiel to wander through the hallways of his house.

His followers greeted him as he walked by, giving signs of submission as he passed. Castiel is guessing that the fight between himself and Sam Winchester has fueled a new movement to act as needed to not upset Castiel's wolf. It seems like a good idea, but honestly, Castiel doesn't really care as a human.

Right now, all that matters is finding the source of that scent.

The scene he discovers is slightly unsettling. At least a hundred people crowd around one of the many sitting rooms, all silent and watchful as Castiel sees who they are focused on. Gabriel is sitting on the couch, looking as though he was depressed and without options of what to do. For a second, Castiel is confused as to why, until he sees Dean and Sam.

Dean has his face in his hands, Sam standing over his shoulder offering small amounts of comfort. Dean sobs into his palms as the air becomes tense around Castiel. So… this is the scent he's been smelling…

His followers part for him like a sea, moving in quiet steps, and mere inches of space morph into a few feet for him to walk through. Gabriel notices his appearance and seems relieved, silently moving over to his brother as he begins to guide him away.

"I'll explain in a moment, Cassie. I promise…" he whispers.

Sam raises his gaze up to Castiel, his hazel eyes showing a slight burning edge to him, yet- his posture and expression show that he's in no mood to fight. Dean still cries in the chair, not even noticing Castiel's presence as tears fall to the floor. Instantly, Castiel feels the need to stop those tears rise in his chest, similar to the swell of a wave, and it's about to crest over when Gabriel drags him away from both of the Winchesters. Castiel watches over his shoulder as he is pushed away from the situation, Sam the whole time glaring at him before returning his attention to his brother.

"Come on, you big log- right now's not the time for one of your staring fits." Gabriel pushes his brother into another room, grunting at the fact Castiel pushes against the floorboards with the soles of his feet.

"Gabriel, what is going on back there?"

Gabriel gives a sigh, his palms still pressed into Castiel's back as he stops pushing, "It's a very complicated, depressing story…"

Castiel looks over his shoulder, seeing his brother staring at the floor, "Should I be concerned over said story?"

"I- I don't know if you should be…" Gabriel murmurs, "It's more so of something that happened with Sammy and Dean…"

Castiel turns to face the omega, Gabriel's arms falling limply to his side as he still stares at the floorboards, "Is it serious? …"

Gabriel suddenly pulls Castiel into a tight hug, his knuckles cracking as he holds onto Castiel's shirt tightly, his tears already flowing into the fabric, "Y-You have to promise me…"

"Promise what? …" Castiel asks softly, holding onto his brother gently as he begins to cry into his shirt.

"P-Promise me you won't let yourself go rogue…" Gabriel sobs, burrowing his face into Castiel's chest, "I just- I can't deal with t-that if it happens…"

Castiel tilts his head in confusion, "Go… _rogue?_ …"

Gabriel lifts his face from Castiel's shirt, his eyes red and puffy, bottom lip trembling, "Dean t-talked about how his brother Adam g-got stuck as a wolf… I just- I don't want that t-to happen to you… I know it's common a-among alphas, and Dean's story just s-struck a cord and a fear of mine-"

"Gabriel…" Castiel lowers himself to where they are eye to eye, much like he used to do whenever his baby brother stubbed his toe and cried at the pain, "I understand why you're upset, and I guess that being concerned if my wolf is too present for your tastes is a reasonable thing to be frightened over- but I am not going rogue. Some days, I understand that I am rougher and more callous than I prefer to be, but that is just how it happens. My wolf is as much of a part of me as it is you." Castiel wipes away several tears with the pad of his thumb, "There is a thin line between our humanity and our feralness- we walk this line everyday, whether it be with two feet or four paws- and we manage to keep a balance somewhere along the way. If I go rogue, it is something I am not intending, and will be more than likely out of my control… There is no guarantee that I will be able to pull myself back over the edge if my wolf decides to push me off the line… In light of this, it means I cannot promise you what you want to hear, because there is no possible way that I can fulfill it as you have asked... However, that does not mean I will not try to keep it from happening."

Gabriel just cries harder.

**...**

Dean finds himself back in Sammy's room, a blanket wrapped around his body. It's later, hours after his story about their brother, yet, the pain still feels new.

Sammy knows that the scar Dean has from Adam, some even physical, are still fresh and sensitive. Even though Adam's death had been about a year or two before John passed, Sammy knows that Dean is just as fragile as he was when the news first came. Dean even knows this, but he refuses to voice anything because that's just how he is- the 'I'm going to wait till everything is too fucked up to say anything' kind of person.

That's how they got here in the first place, right?

Sammy paces in wolf form in front of his door, agitated from the appearance of Castiel. He believes that the alpha of the pack is going to appear and pester Dean with unreasonable and personal questions, and after yesterday, he is having none of it.

"Sammy…" Dean murmurs, his eyelids heavy and throat dry, "Sammy- _stop…_ Castiel isn't a threat…"

Sammy gives a snort, his paws still moving forward to move his form in a circle in front of his door.

"Yeah- I know… Castiel was a bit of a dick yesterday, but it was from my stupidity that he got pissed. Now, could ya stop walkin' in circles and calm down? He's not even near me."

Sammy just looks over his side, hazel eyes determined as he gives Dean a short yip, basically saying: _I don't give a fuck- I'm going to keep pacing._

Dean rolls his eyes, deciding that the effort to stop his brother from "protecting" him is just pointless in its entirety. He just rolls over on the bed, closing his eyes for a moment to ease away some of the strain. It's relaxing to Dean, the eldest Winchester finding his breathing evening out and his mind moves into a state of calm blankness. But, as luck would have it, it doesn't get to stay that way for long.

Sammy starts growling, causing Dean's eyes to fly open. Yet, before Dean is able to tell Sammy to shut up, there are sounds of people yelling outside of Sammy's door. Dean scrambles out of bed, thunder shaking the house as Dean pushes the curtain back. Outside are a group of wolves, growling and ready to fight, all of them pinpointed on Castiel's form.

"Shit, Sammy-" Dean grabs his brother and hurls them through the door.

Other people rush past Dean and Sammy, their faces already furrowed with frustration as they scramble down the stairs past Sammy's bulky form. As soon as the people reach the door, they shift into wolf form, running to position themselves behind Castiel. Growls and snarls are heavy in the air as Dean steps outside with Sammy, his fingers tightly wound in a patch of his brother's fur as they stand somewhere near the back.

"Oh thank God, Dean-" Gabriel rushes up to them, pushing through wolves as he moves, his clothes from this morning slightly muddy as he runs, "Castiel wants you to be as far away from this as possible."

Sammy is already growling at the offending group of wolves, Dean deciding it's a lost cause on trying to calm him, "Why? I'm a part of this pack just like everyone else."

"Everyone else is a werewolf, Dean. Having a human in the middle of a pack fight?_ Not_ the best idea…"

Dean sighs, petting Sammy's head before nodding softly, "Yeah, I guess you're right about that… Just- take me where I've got to go…"

Gabriel removes Dean from the situation, and the whole time both of them throw occasional glances back towards the tense exchange going on behind them. Dean hopes that no one gets hurt, especially Sammy.

"Do you know why they're here?" Dean asks, Gabriel dragging him by his hand.

"I'm guessing it's over something petty… A lot of pack fights start over something stupid…"

Dean swallows, his fear peaking in his chest, "This isn't over me crossing the borders, is it?"

Gabriel shrugs, "It could be- but these fuckers constantly come with their teeth bared and ready to fight… There's no knowing about what it is about until Castiel is done with dealing with them."

"I hope no one gets hurt…" Dean mumbles off to the side, finding that Gabriel led him back to Sammy's room.

"Depends on what is going to be said and stuff…" Gabriel murmurs, "Alistair is known for having a short temper."

Dean stiffens, staring at Gabriel with wide eyes, "_W-Who?"_

Gabriel tilts his head at Dean's reaction, his brows furrowing, "Alistair?"

"S-Shit…" Dean rushes over to the window, pulling back the curtain to look outside.

Alistair lines the front of the offending wolf pack, his sickly-familiar smirk splayed over his lips as he watches Castiel venomously. Castiel seems to be arguing with him, his shoulders tense with anger as he retorts. Alistair shakes his head, his smirk growing, and he points up to Sammy's window before meeting Dean's gaze.

Even with the distance, Dean can see the words 'he's mine' formed from Alistair's crooked lips.

Dean falls back on the floor, his feet trying to kick him away from the window as Gabriel rushes to his side, "Dean, what's wrong?"

"H-He's back…" Dean shivers, his voice on the verge of breaking, "Alistair's here to t-take me back."

**...**

Castiel grits his teeth at the excuse of an alpha before him.

"Dean is not your property. He cannot be owned- he is so much more than what you are wanting with him."

Alistair gives small chuckle before he shakes his head, "You and your philosophies… Tell me, what would Dean think of you if he knew all that you've done… If were goin' to talk about choices bein' in the wrong- I think you'd top me in every case."

Castiel snarls at Alistair, his wolf brimming up to the surface in his rage.

"Did I push a button?" Alistair teases, "That was the intention, sweetcheeks. You really don't like havin' your dirty laundry aired out for all to see, do you?"

"I have no such thing- now, remove yourself and your pack off of my territory before I force you to leave."

Alistair tsks, put up a single finger in disagreement, "If we're gonna talk about crossin' over borders, then it should be in with the theme to mention how Dean decided to overstep your boundaries." he gives a dark smile, one that makes Castiel feel uneasy.

Castiel lifts his chin higher, trying to appear calm in some ways to give the facade that Alistair will not have his fun by angering him or his wolf- "It is true that Dean did cross the border, but let it be said that since he is human-" Alistair's grin widens, his teeth sharp as thunder booms in clouds above the clearing, "he does not know where our territory begins _or_ ends. I am putting up markers for him so this does not happen again."

"Shame…" Alistair licks his lips, his eyes flashing in the lightning, the air around them feeling moist with all of the humidity, "I would like to see Dean again, if he'd spare me the time… We have some…_ unfinished business-_ to attend to…"

Sam snarls in the group of wolves behind Castiel, and suddenly, he is beside Castiel with his expression of pure fury, "You son of a bitch! You don't have the fucking right to see Dean again- let alone think about him!"

Alistair waves towards Sam, his smile still stretching over his lips, "Nice to see you too, Samantha. Now, let the actual alphas talk business."

"Like you even are one, you sick bastard!" Sammy growls, his fingers balled up into fists, "You are an abusive self-centered asshole who needs to pick which plot of the graveyard he's going to rot in!"

"Such a very descriptive title, Sam. I should add that to my ever growing list of bullshit I've heard over the years. Most of which, are things that have come out of your mouth."

"I don't give a shit if you think you're all this and everything else- if I even get a whiff of your scent in this air-" Sam's voice drops several octaves, his wolf edging his words, "I will _not_ hesitate to rip your throat open."

Thunder rumbles in the sky above, its last threat before the downpour begins as Alistair nods, "Alright, Sam. I get that I'm not welcome… But, if there's one thing you could do for me-"

Castiel steps forward and interrupts him, "We are not obligated to do a single thing for you. Now go, or I will not hold Sam back if he does decide to let you watch his teeth sink into your neck."

"I will be back, and I will get what I want…" Alistair hisses, his words looming over something unsaid, and Castiel growls his last warning.

Alistair and his pack turn away, walking back down the trail in the clearing as a few droplets begin to fall. Castiel pulls his robe off, leaving him in just his plain t-shirt and boxers as the droplets grow in number. Sam snorts angrily as he watches Alistair's pack disappear out of view, and suddenly, Castiel is now the pinpoint of his full attention.

"Are you gonna promise me you'll let me kill that bastard if I get the chance?"

"Go for it." Castiel is still watching the path, the rain causing a slight fuzz quality to form within the air, "I would not mind if Alistair could never bother me again. His death would bring a much needed peace to my mind, as well."

Sam takes a breath, his hair starting to straighten out as it collects water within its strands, "Yeah, well, if I do see that bastard again- I _will_ murder him…"

Castiel doesn't disagree or argue with the statement, but instead asks the question that has been nagging at him as soon as Alistair appeared at his doorstep asking about a certain Winchester, "What does he want with Dean?"

Castiel is surprised at the volume Sam's snarl acquired, and he blinks as Sam tightens his shoulders with anger, "He's a selfish bastard who thinks he can own anything from the sun to my brother… We have a long and complex past with him- and I wished we didn't- but it's one filled with a lot of dark things, and sadly-" Sam bites his lip, anger turning into sadness, "most of it was focused on Dean."

"Focused? …"

"It's something I _don't_ want to talk about, really… There's too much I don't want to remember… Though, I'm sure Dean will tell you, or has to now… He's just been through so much…" Sam's shoulders fall in defeat, his voice quieting as the raindrops soak Castiel's clothes to his skin, "Alistair is a bad thing- like an omen- and I'm sure that this is just the start of somethin' that isn't gonna end well…"

Castiel looks back towards the trail where Alistair disappeared, "Knowing Alistair so far, I cannot deny the possibility."

Sam pauses for a moment, and when Castiel glances at him, he is staring at the ground, watching the dirt turn into mud, "He said something about you… that you were hiding something…"

"Sam-"

"_No._" Sam looks at Castiel now, expression as stern as his gaze, hazel eyes almost like a wall of stone, "I need to know one thing… This secret… is it- is it something that will hurt Dean like Alistair said it would? …"

Castiel averts his gaze in shame, knowing what has happened in his past- all of the things he has done- all the things his _wolf_ has done… Castiel takes a breath, closing his eyes. He gains a faint glimpse of blonde hair and soft skin, and immediately, Castiel shuts down his mind to stop the images from growing or multiplying. Slowly, he opens his eyes, looking out into the world he honestly shouldn't be a part of.

"I believe the only person it is meant to torment…" Castiel gives a small chuckle that doesn't quite make it, "is me…"

Sam puts a hand on his shoulder, and Castiel realizes this is the most docile they have been around each other for a while, "I'm sorry… You don't seem like the kind of person who deserves to have somethin' like that on their shoulders…"

Castiel shakes his head in disagreement, "I do because I put it there myself."

With that, Castiel walks towards the house- and too many questions and memories fill his mind.

**...**

Dean shakes in the blankets that Gabriel had placed around him, flashes from his past resurfacing through his barriers.

"Dean, come on- talk to me." Gabriel pleads, snapping his fingers in front of Dean's face as he remains unresponsive.

The human bawls up on himself further, trying to keep the sound of Alistair's voice from whispering things somewhere within his skull- like he embedded himself so deeply into Dean that he has a second conscience or personality.

"Dean?" Castiel pushes back the door to Sammy's room, suddenly stopping at the state of the eldest Winchester, "Gabriel, is he okay?"

"I don't know!" Gabriel snaps, his stress far too evident, "One moment he's fine and dandy, but the next, he's not! I've been trying for a while now to get him to respond, and what do I get?!_ Nothing!"_

Castiel puts a hand on Gabriel's shoulder, "Calm down, your panic will do nothing to help Dean's situation. Go find Sam and speak to him, I believe he needs to cool himself off as well. Come back in an hour or so, Dean should be fine then."

Gabriel just glares, but doesn't argue. He walks out of the room, leaving Dean alone with the alpha.

"Dean." Castiel sits on the edge of the bed, his weight causing the mattress to dip, "Dean, can you hear me?"

Dean nods, eyes training on nothing as they stare off into the air.

"Good. I want you to relax. Can you do that for me?"

Dean nods, then thinks better of it, and shakes his head.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

Dean has only more second of impassiveness before he gives in- before this weight breaks him. He bites his lip, trying to hold back the inevitable.

"Is it about Alistair?"

That's all it takes, and next thing Dean knows, he's crying. Castiel immediately pulls Dean to his chest, unwrapping the blanket from Dean's body as he sobs heavily. Images of knives and teeth appear in the forefront of Dean's conscious, and the tears streaming down his face grow in number like the droplets running against Sammy's windowpane. Thunder rumbles in the air outside as Castiel pulls the blanket away from Dean's skin, leaving the human feeling barren and cold.

Dean feels Castiel move him, lifting him up into his arms and re-positioning them both. In the end, Dean's placed in Castiel's grip like a bride, the alpha lying down against the headrest of Sammy's bed as Dean sobs into Castiel's already soaked tee.

"Just let it out…" Castiel murmurs, stroking Dean's face from where tears slick it.

Dean grips onto the fabric tightly, water seeping out from his grip as he shoves his face into Castiel's chest. Dean remembers too much- too many nights, too many days- and he can't help but feel broken inside as he recalls the horrible year he had that started when he turned eighteen.

"Sam offered to murder him, if the knowledge brings any comfort to you."

The comment causes Dean to give a solemn chuckle, and he rests lighter on Castiel's forearms- as if a weight has been lifted away- one he didn't know he was carrying.

"S-Shit, Castiel, I'm sorry…" Dean removes his face from the alpha's chest, "I'm not b-breaking some cardinal rule again, am I?"

"No." he brushes away another tear from Dean's cheek, "Even if you were, I would make an exception this time."

Dean shakes his head, closing his eyes, "_Please_ don't say it's because I'm a human…"

Castiel chuckles, surprising Dean, "No, it is not because of that, Dean…"

"Then what is it? …" Dean asks, his jade eyes looking up to meet Castiel's dark blue.

"I do not know what has happened between you and Alistair, but what I can inference through all that has been said and done, I can tell that it was not good, whatever it was…"

Dean sighs, nodding his head, "Yeah, it's not the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"You do not have to tell me if you do not wish to… I am alright with the past remaining in the past."

Dean shakes his head, sighing as he tries to calm himself, "No- I guess you have to know since Alistair is showin' up on your doorstep… Besides, someone other than Sammy has to know- or I think I'll go crazy…"

Castiel stares at Dean as he bites his lip.

"We used to be…_ normal_ people- I guess…" Dean begins, closing his eyes to remember, his shirt wet from Castiel's presence as he breathes, "We had no idea what life for werewolves was like because we were human… John had Mary, my mom, and the open road ahead of them… I came along about nine months later."

Castiel chuckles, but silences himself to let Dean continue.

"We were happy, and we only got happier when my mom said she was expectin' Sammy. I was four when he was born, and I was so excited to be a big brother. I told myself I'd be the best one ever, and that Sammy would love me like I loved him… It was only six months after he was born that things went to hell…" Dean's eyelids tighten at the memories, the feeling of heat and the smell of smoke still as fresh as they were when they were present, and Dean shivers- "I woke up to find our house on fire, and I scrambled around to find John and Mary before somethin' bad happened… When John found me, he told me to get Sammy- that I needed to hide myself somewhere once we got out of the house- and I was so confused… But I listened to him."

Castiel is silent as Dean shuffles in his arms, squirming at the glimpses of flame- angry reds and yellows licking hungrily towards Dean, engulfing anything they could burn- "I got Sammy out, but he wouldn't stop crying… This feeling in my gut kept telling me that we had to stay quiet- that something was really wrong- but nothing I did would work. I was literally standing in the middle of the street, crying my eyes out with Sammy in my arms, and my dad was screaming- nothing but Mary over and over again- inside of my house as it started collapsing in on itself."

Castiel stiffens, but he doesn't say anything.

"He came out afterward, but by himself… My mom didn't make it out…" Castiel tries to stop him, but Dean shakes his head, "After that, John pulled Sammy and I as close as he could, and he told us we had to run before it was too late. God- I was just so _scared…_ The house kept burning and Sammy and I just kept crying… But I left like John told me to, and I carried Sammy away from our house as John stayed behind. I didn't know where to go, or what to do, and I just hoped I'd find somewhere and Sammy would stop crying…"

"Dean…"

Dean grins softly, "Thanks for the concern, Castiel, but you need to know…"

"Not exactly… I could remain oblivious to what has happened to you and Sam."

"In some alternate universe, maybe- but in this one… the one we're living in-" Dean opens his eyes, shaking his head, finding Castiel staring at him in concern, "it's important you know… If Alistair comes back… then so does my past."

Castiel just stares at Dean, his eyes searching Dean's for some answer- for something to say. He doesn't find what he's looking for, and gives up by averting his gaze.

"You can continue if you want to, Dean…"

Dean nods a silent thank you before looking down towards his chest, voice soft, "Did you ever hear a rumor about a werewolf experimenting with changing people?"

Castiel furrows his brow, blinking at the question, "I do not think I have…"

"Well- this guy- he thought there was more to changing a human into a werewolf than just biting them… I guess he got tired of the stereotype or had no teeth and could only chew at people's gum with his flesh- but either way, he started on trying to find different methods on changing people into werewolves…"

"Dean, how is this relative? …"

Dean bites his lip, his fingers turning into fists, "Because that bastard was real, Castiel… He was the reason my house burned to the ground…"

"Dean-"

"He snuck into our house every night through a window and went to Sammy's nursery…_ Every damn night,_ he'd let blood from a slit in his arm drip into Sammy's mouth… We were variables, Castiel- we were pawns in his little damn game… The whole goal was that when Sammy turned six months old, that his experiments paid off…"

Castiel's eyes widen in recognition, "People who are born werewolves manifest into their canine form at six months of age…"

Dean grins down below in anger, a few tears slipping out, "There it is- the deal breaker…"

"Did… did Sam _shift?_ …" Castiel asks cautiously, unsure if his prodding is welcome.

Dean can only manage a nod.

"Oh, Dean…" Castiel pulls him closer as Dean begins crying again, "I am so sorry…"

Dean gives Castiel a tight smile, his bottom lip trembling for a second, "Yeah, well… Sorry doesn't pay the bills, does it?"

"No…" Castiel murmurs, "It doesn't…"

That's when Sammy decides to burst through the door, his paws thudding on the floor as he snarls, ready to attack.

**...**

Castiel has to push Dean away as Sam barrels into his chest with full force.

The alpha hisses as he feels a rib snap, his fingers burrowing their way into the brown fur before clamping down on the offending strands.

"Sammy!" Dean screams, running over to pull his brother off of Castiel, "Sammy- stop!"

All Dean gets in return is a loud snarl, Sammy's ears having flattened back in anger, and his eyes are staring straight into Castiel's as his lip pulls up in rage.

"Sam…"

The youngest Winchester blinks, his tough demeanor quickly falling at the sight of Gabriel. In fact, he hangs his head in shame. Slowly, inch by inch, Sam removes himself from Castiel's neck.

As soon as Sam is pulled off to the sid to deal with Castiel's brother, Dean immediately rushes over to Castiel, sitting on the bed beside him. The alpha stares at Sam as Gabriel pets him behind the ears gently, whispering things to him that cause the tension built up in his muscles to loosen. Gabriel then gives Castiel a warm smile, and guides Sam out of the room, and it seems as though nothing had even happened at all.

"Castiel- you're bleeding…" Dean stands up from the mattress, guiding Castiel to the bathroom before sighing, "Am I goin' to be cleanin' up after every fight you two have?"

Castiel hisses as Dean brushes his finger against the wound on the alpha's neck, Castiel chuckling emptily, "I do not know, it depends on if your brother can refrain from attacking me."

Dean doesn't look up to Castiel, just winces at the words and begins to clean the wound with nimble fingers, "He's just protecting me, is all…" he whispers.

"I don't understand- if I wasn't harming you, then why would he attack me-"

"He always jumps to conclusions." Dean interrupts with a voice that is cold, one that knows something Castiel doesn't- "We've had a tough life before this, one where we had to constantly be in fight mode for… It's kind of hard to turn it off when all you've ever known has been having it on…"

Castiel would tilt his head, but Dean's fingertips are working away at the separation of skin in his neck, "What do you mean, Dean? … Is there something I should know about? …"

Dean's fingers still, and the human just stares at Castiel's neck as he bites his lip, his jade eyes narrowing and hardening, frown lines standing stark against his face from the lighting- "It's a long story."

"Dean, you were telling me one just a few seconds before your brother decided to try and rip my throat out-" Dean slightly winces- "I believe we are already past this excuse. Besides, if there are issues that lie somewhere within your past that may affect my pack, I need to know about them."

The human drops his hands away from Castiel's neck, going over to the bathtub to get the rest of his things- Castiel's eyes linger on his back as Dean gathers materials- his voice is quiet, "It was after… after the fire when everything bad started…"

Castiel sits at attention on the edge of the counter, his fingers gripped onto the ceramic until they are red and white all over.

"Sammy had…" Dean sounds broken, like the memory physically hurt him in ways Castiel could never fathom, and his shoulders slightly tremble and shake like his breaths as he exhales, "Sammy had shifted- in my arms… It's why he was crying so much, because of the pain… I didn't- I didn't know what to do, and I was so scared…"

Castiel remains silent.

"This man- he just appeared out of nowhere… I- I was so helpless… I could still feel the smoke in my eyes- the heat on my skin- and my baby brother was a fucking puppy instead of a human baby… He said that he knew how to help… John never told me to avoid anyone, and I- I- …" Dean trails off, his hands gripping onto a towel tightly.

Castiel gets off of the counter, coming over to Dean to set a hand on his shoulder, yet, it seems to do nothing to ease Dean.

"He t-took Sammy, and he said that he had plans for us… Something big- something important… We had a purpose, and he believed it was his responsibility to 'fulfill the destinies' that were given to us…" Dean draws a sharp breath, voice wavering, "He never- he never mentioned what that meant…"

"Dean-"

The human shakes his head, fixing the towel, somehow composing himself in seconds leaving Castiel without any clue as to how, "That bastard's name was Azazel…"

"Alistair's father…" Castiel murmurs quietly, "I remember the man… He was- …_ cruel-_ to those that followed him."

Dean gives an empty chuckle, shaking his head, "That's putting it lightly… He was a sick bastard, to say at the least…"

Castiel's brow furrows, "How would you know that, Dean?"

"Because-" he states simply, "Sammy and I were forced to become part of his pack."

Castiel stops moving.


	3. It's Where My Demons Hide

****Author's Note: _**

**#wildcats**

* * *

Dean watches the steady drip from the bathtub faucet, hearing Castiel's breathing behind him quicken.

"You were part of his pack? …" Castiel bleats, obviously confused.

"He wanted to raise Sammy into… into some kind of monster. That night- when Sammy first shifted- it was to see if Sammy could become his prodigy."

Castiel's voice grows quieter, "He had plans for Sam…"

"Yeah,_ big_ ones…" Dean whispers, "It was… was a big deal for him to turn Sammy into some kind of monster…"

"You'd think that Alistair-" Dean stiffens at the name, and Castiel goes on with his words carefully- "was supposed to take over Azazel's place eventually, not your brother…"

Dean nods, and turns with a wet rag in hand, and he guides Castiel to the sink counter as he speaks on softly, "Azazel wanted someone who could be relied on… Alistair was _never_ that…"

Castiel's gaze seems distant, as if most of his focus has gone into his thoughts and he has retracted himself- Dean wipes away the thick blood on his neck- "But your brother was a shot in the dark… There was no possible way Azazel would have known his plan to shift your brother and turn him into his second in command would have worked. He was taking a risk with involving you and your family, Dean. It does not click for me."

"It does seem a lil' weird when you think about it rationally…" Dean dabs at the marks on Castiel's neck, pulling the reddened rag away to reveal the damaged skin, "But I guess that Azazel was too desperate to care about if things worked out or not… Either way, he was a cocky son of a bitch…"

"No disagreement there."

Dean gives a slight chuckle, "Hey, this may sting, okay?"

Castiel closes his eyes, and Dean thinks the alpha has decided to think about things as Dean fixes his neck.

The human remembers all of those nights, remembers how lost and broken he felt under those orange streetlamps- screaming for Mary and John but receiving nothing but the cries from his brother and the howling of wind. The resurfaced images cause Dean to shudder without realizing it.

"Why did Azazel take_ you_ in, Dean?" Castiel suddenly asks, his gaze directed onto the human.

Dean nearly curses at the abruptness that is the alpha, but instead sighs, "Because Sammy needed me, and I guess that Azazel wanted to see what he could try to do to shift me as well or something just as equally fucked up… Either way, John wouldn't let him leave me either."

Castiel stiffens on the counter.

"After Azazel found me with Sammy, John showed up out of nowhere. He got angry at Azazel and kept screaming at him about staying away from Sammy and I, but it was too late for that… Azazel attacked John that night and changed him. We were his from then on."

Castiel narrows his gaze on Dean as the human bandages his neck, "But I don't understand… How does this all connect to Alistair's desire for you?"

Dean stiffens, his mind preoccupied with flashes of Alistair and blood rather than with conversation, and soon, he finds Castiel slightly shaking him for a response of any kind.

"It's, um… _complicated…_" Dean whispers offhandedly, and his eyes stare but focus on nothing as his thoughts stray into the past again.

Castiel lingers on the silence between them, and it seems that there are more questions that he needs answered, but he remains silent instead of voicing them.

"I'll go check on Sammy…" Dean says irrelevantly, and leaves Castiel leaning against the bathroom counter top.

Dean rushes out of the room, trying to get away from the questions that Castiel asked, and finds himself pushing against many bodies that are in the hallway. Dean honestly doesn't know where he's going- doesn't really care at this point- and the thunder rumbles out and vibrates into boards of the house. Dean struggles as he tries to remember how to breathe simply, and his mind reels and spins with anxiety. Some of the werewolves give Dean weird looks as he pushes against them, but they're practically nothing but white noise at this point to the human.

Dean doesn't find the door fast enough, and he finds his clothes getting soaked onto his skin as the rain falls down heavily. His breaths are ragged and shallow, his anxiety building by the second. He thought that he was supposed to be getting away from his problems here, that joining the Novaks was supposed to fix all of the bullshit he'd been going through. However, it seems as though nothing is ever going to let up.

Dean shivers in the rain, the droplets surprisingly freezing against his skin as he takes a deep breath. Even as a human, Dean can smell the wretched stench that has always clung onto Alistair heavily no matter how many baths he took or usually overpowering scents he rubbed onto his skin. It smells rancid- like rotting flesh covered in blood.

"Dean!"

The human turns around, finding his brother rushing over to him, "S-Sammy?"

"Dean what are you doing out here!?" Sammy reaches his brother's side, gripping onto his arm, "It's pouring freezing rain and you decide to just_ stand_ in it!?"

Dean shakes his head, biting his bottom lip, "Look, I know it doesn't sound rational to be doing this-"

"Dean, Alistair is currently coming after you- you don't need to be outside by yourself until he's not a threat anymore-"

"Sammy, just…" Dean sighs, shaking his head, causing water droplets to fall off of his strands of soaked hair onto his crossed forearms, "I needed some air, okay? Storm and Alistair be damned."

Sammy gives his older brother a look, one that Dean knows will lead to a speech about doing the right thing and doing shit to keep himself safe- "That doesn't matter, Dean… If you needed a breather you should have found me first."

Dean stares at the ground, finding that he can't look Sammy in the eye, "I just- I want some alone time, is all, okay? I'm surrounded by werewolves and I don't know what I'm gonna do now that Alistair is back… It's just so much to process…"

"I know it is… I know that you want Alistair to be nothing but a dark part of your past- I get that- but that doesn't mean you can go off and get yourself hurt or worse because things are the best in your mind right now… Not all of this is a bad thing, Dean. Sure, Alistair coming back was a low blow for life to give you, but this? The Novak pack? It's been like another chance, Dean… We have food, water, medicine, good housing, jobs-_ anything_ we've ever needed or even wanted, Dean. This is our home now, and it's better than what we had when we were on our own."

"You think I don't know that!?" Dean hisses, and thunder rumbles above them, Dean rubbing at his arms, "I know that this place has been better for us- for me even- but I just… I'm not comfortable here… I'm not comfortable anywhere…"

"Why is that? …" Sammy looks concerned.

The rain picks up slightly, and the sky doesn't look as menacing as Dean prepares himself for his admission as he stares at the mud forming near his feet- "I… How can I fit in here, Sammy? In this world- with you guys- I'm nothin' but a liability to you… I don't have a wolf in my head like you guys- I can't smell or sense things like you can… I don't know how I can live in a world where I'm nothin' but the freak…"

Dean hears Sammy sigh, and the eldest Winchester looks up to see his younger brother staring at him in what seems like a close second to pity, "You aren't a freak, Dean. You're human. There's nothin' wrong with that. You need to stop thinkin' so lowly of yourself because of this-"

"I went over the border, Sammy. I basically gave Alistair a scent trail to follow from his front door to mine. I might as well put on a neon sign that says 'I'm right here come get me'!"

"Dean…"

"Not now, Sammy. I'm not in the mood, alright?" Dean shuffles on his feet, "I've have enough to deal with for one day."

"Then how about we keep gettin' sick off that list?" Sammy starts pushing Dean back into the house.

The eldest Winchester just gives a sigh of defeat, and lets Sammy guide him back 'home'.

**...**

Castiel gingerly presses a few fingertips on his neck.

The skin is still slightly damaged from Sam's teeth separating, but thankfully, Castiel's healing processes have begun to seal the gaps in the flesh. The damage isn't as present as it was beforehand, and the pain has decreased greatly- however, there is a slight tingle on his skin that his never been present when Castiel has been healing.

He supposes it's just his mind playing tricks on him, so he leaves it be.

Gabriel shows up a little while after Dean left, and he cautiously opens the door, "Cassie?"

"Yes, Gabriel?" Castiel is now in his room, going over some papers that need his attention, "Is there something wrong?"

"No, just… I wanted to talk to you- about earlier…" the omega comes to sit on Castiel's bed, fiddling with his fingers nervously, "I wanted to apologize for what Sammy did-"

"If Sam feels any remorse or regret for trying to harm me, then why isn't he here saying so himself?"

Gabriel sighs, "Because I didn't want you two to fight again, that's why. You guys are like a match and gasoline- it's not the best idea to put you two near each other in one room because I don't know how the other will ignite. Look, Sammy feels bad- he really does- and he wanted to say sorry, but I decided to tell you for him to avoid another fight between the two of you."

Castiel sets the papers aside, deciding that his brother's presence will lead to distraction and trying to pay close attention to the black letters on the papers before him will just cause strain on his eyes, "I suppose your words hold some merit, but Gabriel, I don't understand why Sam even attacked me in the first place. We're both alphas, yes, but Dean assured me that he wouldn't be a problem. In fact, we weren't even doing anything that could give Sam the reason to attack, and yet Dean assured me that he was a docile alpha."

"That is the problem though-" Gabriel stands up now, starting to pace around the room as he explains the situation to his older brother, "Sammy's an alpha, so that means he's gonna be an overly protective bastard when it comes to Dean. He smelled his brother's scent, noticed it was fearful, then comes into the room to find you near him. You've already done things to piss him off before, so... It's not exactly rocket science."

"It does make sense now that I think about it… But Sam could control his wolf's tendencies, however, I don't understand why he would still snap in such a way."

"Maybe it's because he believes that you can't control _your_ wolf." Gabriel says seriously, "After all, you were nippin' at Dean's heels the other day while chasin' him."

Castiel feels remorse swell in his chest, "Like I have said before, I regret that my wolf wanted to get submission from Dean. That is not my fault directly."

Gabriel sighs, shaking his head, "Maybe that's the point of all of this between you and Sammy, Cassie- he doesn't trust you _or_ your wolf with Dean."

"And why is that?"

"Cassie, I hate to bring up the past, but… you've never been a hundred percent in the control arena. Your wolf has always been apparent in whatever you do… Just- I think Sammy noticed that you haven't been able to reign in your instincts fully. Everyone knows werewolves have trouble with humans, so… the rationality is there."

Castiel stares at his desk, closing his eyes to see flashes of smiling pink lips and gray irises, "Trust me, I know that better than anyone…"

Gabriel waits a few moments, knowing that he poked something that was still healing- even after all this time- and his voice is soft and his words are slow, "I know you do… So maybe you can relate as to why Sammy is concerned over Dean being around you."

"Just- ... Leave me be, Gabriel…" Castiel grits out, finding certain memories resurfacing, washing up onto his conscious like rogue waves on a shoreline, "I… I need a moment…"

Gabriel leaves without saying anything, and Castiel sets his face in his hands, trying to will the images away.

"I'm sorry…" the alpha murmurs to himself, "I'm _so_ sorry, Amelia…"

**...**

Dean is with Sammy now. They're inside his room, fixing the bedroom and bathroom after the slight tussle between both of the alphas. Dean is replacing the slightly bloodied sheets when Gabe walks in.

"Winchesters!" Gabe greets happily, "How's the cleanin' duty comin' along?"

Sammy snorts from where he's scrubbing his reddened sink in the bathroom, "About as good as cleaning gets… Why are you here? Shouldn't you be _coddling_ your brother?"

"Cassie's fine, Sammy… Don't worry about him…" there's a slight edge to the omega's voice- it doesn't go unnoticed for either Winchester.

"So…" Dean finishes fixing the edge of the bed sheets, feeling the slightly awkward tension that has formed in the past few seconds, "Castiel isn't all ready to butcher someone?"

Gabriel makes a face, "That's a very _strong_ word… but no, I think he'll be too busy thinking to do anything towards Sammy over here."

"Thinking?" Sammy tilts his head in confusion, popping it out partially in the doorway.

"I, uh…" Gabe rubs his neck, "I may have brought up somethin' in his past he isn't all too fond with… It was relevant- mind you- just… poor guy's still bent up about it… Guess I would be too, if I were him."

Dean blinks for a second or two and speaks, the Winchester's cleaning routine stalled for the moment- "Bent up about what?"

The omega looks towards the floor, the air growing slightly tense in its composure, "It's a long story, and I don't know if Cassie will enjoy me tellin' you about it… It's about his past and it's his call to make- _not_ mine."

"I've had to open up to him." Dean offers, interested to know what could make Castiel- the most impassive alpha (minus his tendencies because those were a given) Dean has ever met- hide his head away in shame, "I don't think it would be such a bad thing."

"But it _was_ a bad thing- at least for him…" Gabe shakes his head, "I- it's not my right to tell you what happened to him. That's something for him to tell you, if he even wants to."

Dean looks down to his hands, the fingers dancing cautiously over the other as he replies, "Well… I guess he and I need to have a talk, then…"

Sammy growls, and it causes both Dean and Gabriel to stand at attention, "Dean, talking to Castiel is definitely _not_ the best idea right now-"

"Actually, it _is._" Dean takes a few steps forward towards the door, ignoring the look he gets from his baby brother, "If Alistair is coming back, then we need to be aware of what happened to one another. I'm not gonna let that bastard one up me because he knew somethin' I didn't about one of you. He's not gonna get the better of me that way- not if I can help it."

"Touche." Gabe nods, "Alright, just… go easy on him, okay? I don't even know if he'll open up to you or not. He's fairly secluded."

Dean saves that as something to question him with or deal with later, and he leaves the room.

Werewolves pass Dean just as they had earlier- impassive, indifferent about his presence- and Dean flows through them easily. He finds Castiel's room easily, considering most of the people that walk by the door bow for a moment or show their respect by baring their neck. Dean holds back a small laugh, because really- werewolves have strange rules and practices, but Dean won't judge. However, that doesn't mean Dean's always thought that some of the gestures or customs wolves had were weird secretly.

"Castiel?" all of Dean's good mood slips away as he knocks on the door cautiously, starting to wonder if coming here was the best idea- "Castiel, are you-"

The door opens, and Castiel's face is mere centimeters from Dean's- his blue eyes are stony looking and hold a hint of remorse in the irises- "Yes, Dean?"

"W-We need to talk." Dean stutters out pathetically, and he flushes slightly at how he feels like an absolute idiot.

"About?"

Dean's worries his bottom lip for a minor second before speaking, "Well, uh- the past, I guess-"

"You _don't_ need to know mine…" Castiel growls lowly as his eyes narrow on Dean, and people walking behind and around Dean in the hallway stall instantly at the sound.

Castiel notices, and drags Dean inside of his room. The human holds his breath in his lungs, wondering if he should have listened to Sammy on this or not- that maybe Castiel would snap on him like before or worse... God- Dean doesn't want to think about it anymore, so he stops himself from going any further mentally.

Castiel goes over to stand at his window- startling Dean out of his haze- and the alpha's arms start bracing against the sill as he hangs his head in shame, "F-Forgive me for my outburst… I- I didn't mean to be so… callous with you."

Dean rubs his arm, looking towards the floorboards, "No, it's okay. I get it. You have some skeletons in your closet that you're not really proud of. You just wanna keep them hidden from people. It's understandable for you to be defensive about it…"

"Dean, I do not have a reason to snap on you for only asking about something… I fear that I am losing more control over my wolf and its tendencies…"

"Is there somethin' you can do about it? …" Dean asks cautiously as he looks towards the floorboards beneath him, knowing that this is a dangerous territory to be exploring- even if it's just verbally- "Like… could you try yoga, or- ? …" Dean trails off.

Castiel's shoulders tense, and Dean wonders what would be so bad about doing a 'morning star' or 'downwards dog' for a wolf coping mechanism- "There's is only one solution that would work. However, it is one I cannot take."

"And that would be? …" Dean lingers on his exhale.

Castiel pauses on his answer for a moment, and when he replies, his voice is quiet, "I would have to take on a mate."

Dean quirks a brow even though Castiel cannot see the action, "What's so bad about that-"

"Dean, it's different when you're a werewolf… I'm sorry to say that- but there is a_ major_ difference between our coupling and yours…"

Dean blinks at those words, feeling a little bit of hurt rise up in his chest, but he squashes it down- refusing to acknowledge it any further- "I guess that's true… but- what's so wrong with takin' on a mate? I'm sure that people in your pack would be willing to-"

"A mate is not meant to be platonically chosen. It's not something I can control. Just like humans, our bonds require deep emotional connections- physical touches- scents, even… It's far more complicated, having all of these dynamics within our minds… You see, my mate would have to be an omega, or at least have the potential of being completely submissive to me and my wolf. That is one curse of being an alpha."

"They can't be some beta or even alpha then?" Dean asks stupidly, "You can't just magically find someone you think is cute that's willin' to roll over for you?"

Castiel sighs, shaking his head as he stares out of the window, "My wolf is fairly… _picky._ It's demanding when it comes to what it wants in a mate. It absolutely hates alphas- even detests betas- but omegas… My wolf craves them. It sometimes terrifies me, what my wolf wants and does… I'm worried that if I take on a mate, that I'll end up hurting them or worse… I don't think I'm supposed to really let myself be happy in such a way… My wolf is greedy and possessive, and I'm surprised I honestly haven't committed murder because of it yet… That's why I'm afraid and reluctant to take on a mate, Dean… I don't think I can trust my wolf with one…"

Dean has to process the words for a few seconds before he replies, and his voice is quiet and he tries to seem sympathetic and reasonable, "Castiel, you're wolf isn't all you are… There's a human side to you- a kind one- and I know that it's somewhere in there underneath all of that worry and pain you're hiding… Your wolf doesn't have to decide whether or not you're happy in life- you do."

"Then why is it that every time I try to get close to someone, my wolf decides to come to the surface?" Castiel hisses, and he whips his front around to glare at Dean- the human takes steps backwards, but Castiel closes in the distance quickly- "How come I have to reign back a part of me I never wanted in the first place!? Why do I have to change my life because I now have some_ animal_ living in my head like a benign tumor that one day is going to get me or others killed!? Why does everything have to be so complicated!?"

Dean's back finds the wall, and Castiel braces the sides of Dean's head with his arms- Dean's now officially trapped- "Castiel, please, _stop-"_

"You don't understand, Dean…" Castiel growls lowly, his eyes dark as they train on Dean, "You don't know what it's like to have a monster living underneath your skin- waiting- planning… You don't know what it's like to have the one life you've ever wanted to get ripped from you because some bastard decided you had to suffer with him too-"

"I_ do_ understand!" Dean yells back, his tone just as angry, "Don't you remember earlier? The names Alistair and Azazel should ring a bell or two, shouldn't they?"

The alpha loses some of his anger, recalling all that Dean said previously, "But that doesn't mean you know what being a ticking time bomb is like, Dean… I could blow up and kill everyone if I'm not careful…"

Dean lowers his eyes, finding the words sliding out of his mouth without thought, "Then find some way to defuse yourself… Look, if your wolf is becoming such a problem that even talking about it makes you angry, then maybe you need to find a way to cut the wire before the clock reaches zero… If you don't, you could-"

"I know…" Castiel murmurs, his palms leaving the wall to hang heavily at his sides, "I could go rogue…"

"Then maybe you need to start thinking about what you want, okay?" Dean offers quietly, and Castiel looks at him, his eyes genuine, "Start making this a priority before it's too late for you to fix it… Look for 'em. I dunno- pull their name out of a hat like some magic trick."

Castiel tilts his head, "You do know some werewolf customs, don't you?"

Dean shakes his head, but then stills, "I may know a few…"

"What do you know about?" Castiel asks, intrigued.

Dean swallows heavily, "I, uh- I know about scenting- or the touching… like- how you're supposed to learn each inch of them- learn their taste… Then you're supposed to try and… well… '_tie the knot_', and stuff…"

Castiel eyes narrow, "That's an intimate part of the process… Most humans are only aware of certain aspects. Werewolves like to keep these things private, unless… Unless someone has propositioned you before and you accepted."

"More like forced to…" Dean hisses, averting his eyes, his arms coming to wrap around himself protectively.

"You were- ? …" Cas leaves the question partially unsaid, like an open door that can lead to many places- but Dean knows this one all too well.

Dean closes his eyes and tries to will his anxiety away, "H-He never got that far… I wouldn't let him… but- that doesn't mean he tried or anything…"

Castiel is suddenly very close, and Dean's eyes fly open to see those blue irises filled with anger, "Dean, _who_ was it?"

"Cas-"

"Dean, please…" Castiel softens a little, his concern evident, "I think I might know who you're talking about…"

Dean just stares at Castiel for a moment, and then he averts his eyes to the floor, "I-It was Alistair, okay? …"

Castiel lets out a loud snarl that vibrates in the walls throughout the whole house.

"That bastard-" the alpha yells in rage, "I'm going to_ kill_ him!"

**...**

Alistair is a _dead_ man.

Castiel's skin ripples, his teeth already elongating. His wolf is beyond furious, and another roar rips itself out of Castiel's throat as he finishes shifting.

"Cas-" Dean tries to calm the alpha, his voice blocked out by the growls and snarls of the alpha, "Cas- plea- stop!"

Castiel's wolf wants to stop Alistair, that's what. He wants to rip that damn pitiful excuse's throat out for all that he's done- to his pack- to Dean- and his nails click against the floorboards as he begins to pace in anger.

"Dean!" Sam's voice comes frantically from behind the door, "Are you alright!?"

"Sam-" another growl vibrates in Castiel's chest at the leering smell of another alpha- "I'm fine!"

The door flies open and Castiel drops himself into a crouch, snarling as Sam comes into view. The youngest Winchester stares at Castiel carefully, as if he's trying to gauge something within those seconds.

"Dean…" Sam says quietly, as if volume would set Castiel off, "Why did he shift?"

"I talked about Alis-"

Another snarl interrupts Dean's words.

Sam's eyebrows furrow, and his expression changes as he realizes something- "Dean, I want you to do something for me."

"Yeah?"

Sam keeps his eyes on Castiel, the Novak alpha glaring his way as his lip pulls up in warning- "I need you to move a few steps over to the side."

Dean apparently complies, and the sound of his feet shifting causes Castiel to snap his attention away from Sam to the eldest Winchester. His crouch disappears, and his ears straighten up.

"That's… weird." Dean murmurs, and his green eyes watch Castiel curiously.

Sam shuffles forward a step, and suddenly, Castiel is posed to fight again. He gives the youngest Winchester a warning growl- the 'stay back or I will hurt you' message clear.

"Dean, do you have your pocket knife?"

Dean moves a little off to the side, but Castiel is too interested in Sam and his closer position to check out the noises, "Yeah, I always do. Why?"

"I just need to confirm somethin'... Could you prick your finger?"

"Sammy-"

"Just do it, Dean." the youngest Winchester tries to keep Castiel's focus on him now that the Novak alpha is so strung out- "I need to see how he reacts."

Castiel lowers himself further onto the floor, and the wolf is about to attack the youngest Winchester when some smell hits the air.

It's salty- rusty- and immediately Castiel barks in concern as he rushes over to Dean. The Novak alpha sniffs all over Dean to find the source, and when Dean's bloodied fingertip comes into view, Castiel lets out whine and begins to lap at the wound.

"W-Why is he doin' that? …" Dean murmurs, and his eyes watch Castiel carefully.

"Huh… I was wondering why Castiel over here was sending off the pheromones of an alpha protecting its mate."

Both Castiel and Dean's heads perk up at the comment, and immediately, Castiel growls softly and puts distance between himself and the eldest Winchester. His wolf snarls at him mentally, angry that Dean's wound is still left unattended and bleeding.

"W-What?" Dean looks pale.

Sam sighs, leaning against the door frame, "Alphas sometimes let out certain pheromones for different reasons. It's sort of like when an omega goes into heat-"

"Please don't go into detail about wolf sex-"

Sam rolls his eyes and sighs, "I'm not talking about that, Dean. I'm explaining to you that wolves let out scents for different reasons. When I came down here to figure out why Castiel over here was losin' it- I smelled his pheromones. That's why I wasn't too worried about you when I realized what they meant."

"What do they mean, _Scent Master?"_ Dean teases, crossing his arms and furrowing his brow.

"They mean that Castiel was trying to protect someone his wolf considers to be its mate."

Dean blushes with a pure red hue.

Sam smirks, "Oh, and that's not the best part-"

"Don't-"

"It means that Castiel's wolf is going to be extremely possessive and protective over you. So, Dean, would you like to know what that entails?"

Dean shakes his head so fast, Castiel's human mind wonders if he received whiplash, "No! I'm good, okay- I don't wanna know… I think… I think I already know from…" Dean trails off, his eyes becoming distant.

Sam immediately loses all humor, his face becoming solemn, "Shit, Dean- fuck I forgot-"

"Don't guilt yourself, Sammy…" Dean may only be a few feet away from all of them, but his tone makes him sound like he's miles away mentally- stuck in some place where memories run rampant and guilt rises high above the unstable ground like clouds, raining down its burdens onto the unfortunate- "It's part of the past…"

Sam looks as if he wants to say something else, but Castiel's wolf won't have it. Sam upset Dean- Dean's now sending out a wave of fear- that meant Sam is no longer welcome in his presence. A snarl causes Sam to jerk to attention, and Castiel stands up, hackles raised and fur rustled to make him appear larger and more threatening than before.

"I'll be back in a moment." Sam murmurs, and his eyes wearily track Castiel's movements, "I need to talk to Gabe about something."

Castiel remains in his stance until Sam sets the door ajar, his footsteps giving Castiel the knowledge that he's leaving. Seconds after his departure, Castiel trots over to Dean. He still has his look of distance on him- the hundred yard stare- and he slides down against the wall in almost subconscious defeat. Castiel is licking away every tear that forms, a whine rising in his throat as he wipes away the droplets as soon as they fall.

"It was when I was eighteen…" Dean whispers, and Castiel nearly jumps from surprise- he wasn't expecting Dean to speak- "We'd been in Azazel's pack for several years at that point… We knew how things worked, we knew what he wanted before he opened his mouth. Sammy was used like a weapon, John like a soldier, and I… I was like some piece of meat to them."

Castiel lays down in front of Dean, his head in the human's lap as he watches the eldest Winchester- fingers grab tightly onto his fur, silently grasping on for some emotional support, "Alistair was always kind of obsessed with me. It was shortly after Azazel brought us back to his pack that his son wanted me. We were both kids, and I just thought it was some weird wolf thing that I didn't understand… I was so _wrong._"

Castiel makes a small noise of concern, burrowing his nose into Dean's chest to try and soothe him.

"It was the night that I turned eighteen that I realized it… John had been weary of what Alistair planned for me, and Sammy tried to keep an eye on me while John was away. It just happened so fast…" Dean's knuckles bury themselves into Castiel's fur, and Dean pulls Castiel's head next to his, and Dean sobs onto the wolf and its raven coat as he continues with an uneasy voice, "He just attacked Sammy and took me. He dragged me away to some- some place in the woods and kept me there for so long… He would tie me up sometimes and leave me for days on end- just to keep me in line. That bastard tried to own me, and he made his opinion of it obvious. He thought I was his- and he meant for it to be that way."

Castiel lets out a small growl of anger towards Alistair, but Dean remains wrapped around his neck as the sound vibrates around them.

Dean shakily exhales, "I didn't know how long I was gone… or if anyone even knew where I was- but it was a year worth of utter hell." Dean's breath catches in his throat- "I lost a whole year of my life to that bastard- and I'll never get it back- I'll never get that peace of mind back- I'll never be able to look at my skin again without knowing what he's done to it, how many times he's touched it- and it's killing me…"

Castiel whines again, pulling back to lick away the newly formed tears on Dean's face before he allows Dean to just cry and grip onto his wolf's fur again.

This time, however, Castiel's wolf doesn't mind when Dean desperately pulls on its scruff.


	4. I Wanna Hide the Truth

****Author's Note: _**

**You guys really ate this story up!  
Huh.**

**I got a lot of positive reviews and all of that, so I'm really happy at the current moment. (;**

**A lot of people asked about Cas and Dean's pasts as well as Dean's humanity- and I'm just letting you know- Dean is getting shifted into a werewolf, but- he's not an ordinary one... and I'm debating on if Cas is or not, due to his troublesome wolf. Either way- their pasts will be explained, some of it is not going to be all at once- but it'll piece together bit by bit.**

**Here's the new ch.!  
Part of what happened with Alistair is going to be discovered by you in this ch. It's kind of dark, of course... whoo?  
Also- more protective/possessive Castiel. OH.**

**Oh yeah, and Dean gets changed in this ch.  
Sorry if you guys wanted more human Dean, but... oh well?**

**TRIGGER WARNING **** - JUST IN CASE?**

**(Guest reviews are replied to down below.)**

* * *

Dean doesn't know how long it's been since the time he spent with Alistair. He doesn't like to think about it, doesn't like to remember how long he was trapped in that asshole's possession- but it, of course, happens anyways.

The tears that stream down his face are from his dams breaking- from the walls he's built up to block out his troubled past having been broken down only seconds ago. All of these pent up emotions are now flooding over Dean, and it's like being drowned. Slowly over the years, he's been dragged down by this weight, and it isn't until Castiel began to reach for him in the pursuit of answers that Dean realized just how far he's been from the surface- how much he needs just a single breath. The seafloor lines his back as he tries to reach out, and his hands desperately find some vice among the strands of raven fur.

"_Fuck…_" Dean hisses out, his eyes shutting tightly.

His mind brings him back to the cabin that he was practically enslaved in. It reminds him of cold chains and rough ropes, of sharp knives and other dangerous toys that Alistair used to mark up Dean's skin- to let him know that he was Alistair's whether he liked it or not. Castiel gives a weary whine, letting Dean hold onto him tightly as he sobs. Alistair's nasally voice fills his head- and it tells Dean that his skin is so soft and that he squirms too much- and Dean finds himself shaking against Castiel's form.

"Dean?" Sammy's concerned voice causes Dean to jump slightly, and Castiel immediately turns to face the source of the sound, growling.

The door opens, and Gabriel walks in with Sammy, causing Castiel to only soften his stance a fraction.

"Cassie, I'm not gonna do anything." Gabe takes a step forward, the Novak alpha wary of his steps towards Dean, "I just need to see Dean for a moment."

Castiel barricades Dean from his own brother and Sammy, his lips pulled up into a silent growl as the omega nears them step by step.

"Castiel…" Dean says quietly, and Castiel's attention is immediately on him- Dean continues on with a pleading tone, "It's okay- they're not gonna do anything bad. I promise."

The Novak alpha lets his guard down a little, backing away a few steps to let Gabe near Dean as he watches them cautiously. Gabe helps Dean up, then starts leading him to the door. However, Castiel doesn't seem to be happy with that. He sends a low growl out, and Gabe turns to his pack alpha with a soft smile.

"It's alright, Cassie. We're not gonna do anythin' bad with Dean-o over here. Sam and I are just gonna take him to a safe place for a moment to talk to him."

Dean gets pulled out into the main hallway, other werewolves passing by gaze over to them with curious eyes. Gabriel sighs and shuts the door, looking at Dean with seriousness in his irises.

"What's going on with Castiel?" Dean asks, crossing his arms and placing his gaze on the floor instead of Gabe and Sammy.

"I believe his wolf has found you to be… _suitable-_ for him." Gabe smirks.

Dean blinks, furrowing his brow, "You mean- ? … You mean that Castiel's wolf wants _me_ as his _mate?_ …"

Gabriel's grin looks big enough that even astronauts can see it, "Oh, so Dean-o's now actually aware of the big elephant in the room-"

"How was I supposed to know, okay!? Sammy talked about it a little bit, but I didn't know if it was just the heat of the moment or if he was pullin' my chain!" Dean shouts angrily, and suddenly there is a hectic whining at the door, and desperate claws scratch at the wood separating the alpha from the human.

"Seems like you're just gonna have to figure this one out, then." Gabe shrugs, patting Dean sympathetically on the shoulder, "I'll go in there to try and calm him down. You and Sam-Sam can talk."

Dean glares- because really?_ Sam-Sam?_

Sammy is blushing by the time the door shuts, but he recovers onto the subject at hand quickly, "Dean, what were you and Castiel talkin' about when he shifted?"

"Alistair…" Dean mumbles, but when Sammy gives him a confused look, Dean speaks with a louder voice, "We were talkin' 'bout Alistair."

Sammy now makes a face out of concern, "Did you tell him about… ?" Sam trails off.

"Yeah, and he got really angry." Dean glances at the door and then quiets himself a fraction, "Sammy, what's goin' on?"

"I talked to Gabe about it when I got him, and he says that Castiel has refrained from getting a mate since they were turned."

Dean furrows his brow, "Wait- Castiel was a turned werewolf?"

Sammy sighs like Dean should have known this already- that bitch- and he begins nodding, "Yeah- but that's somethin' for later. Right now, this is whole mate debacle is more so of somethin' we should focus on."

"I guess you're right." Dean crosses his arms, "So, what does Castiel and his wolf deciding on being abstinent have to do with me exactly?"

"It means that his wolf isn't like that decision Castiel made and is getting desperate-"

Dean glares at his younger brother, "I sound like the last option-"

"You're not, just- Castiel's wolf is frustrated and pent up because it has no partner. That means it's going to stake claim on the person it thinks is its mate whether Castiel chooses to do so or not. Basically, you've got a wolf fawning all over you."

"Like I didn't have enough problems…" Dean grumbles, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Hey, it's not that bad." Sammy sympathizes horribly, and it only frustrates Dean a little more, "It just means that a wolf wants to win your heart-"

Dean rolls his eyes dramatically, "Yeah, a_ wolf_ wants my heart, not a person. That sounds kind of messed up don't you think? Especially for Castiel? He could be against this, but because his animal side is havin' some blue balls he's basically got a partial crush on me… That doesn't seem like a good thing for either of us- especially him."

Sammy places a hand on Dean's shoulder as a small sign of reassurance, "This isn't the first time that this sort of thing has happened to someone, Dean. Wolves cause partial bonds-"

"_Bonds!?"_ Dean echoes loudly, and there's sounds behind the alpha's door again, "Wait- Castiel and I are-"

"Sort of? … Look, it's not what you think, Dean. This doesn't affect you like it does Castiel. His wolf will always be in his head around you, anything you do or say- Castiel will pay attention to whether he wants to or not. If someone comes around you- Castiel is going to make sure that they know he's there and that your his- even if you're not really. No matter what you do, Castiel is going to become a large part of your life now."

Dean sounds quiet as he asks, "So, this is permanent? …"

Sammy sighs in slight defeat, "I don't know. It depends on how long Castiel's wolf wants to stay attached to you, and if you two do anything that his wolf will interpret as a step forward."

"Then what do I have to avoid?" Dean sounds hopeless- well, he _feels_ like it.

"Him entirely, if you want to be certain that his wolf doesn't jump the gun." Sammy shrugs and looks at Dean sincerely, "Anything can be taken the wrong way- especially with a wolf in your head. Don't be surprised if Castiel's wolf assumes things and decides to take action, Dean."

Dean can hear Gabriel coaxing his elder brother inside of his room, and Dean closes his eyes for a moment to just try and simply breathe, "Is there anything I can do? Even as a human?"

"Afraid not…" Sammy admits, "Castiel and his wolf's actions and scents would be easier to figure out when you would have a wolf yourself, but since you don't…"

"Things just got a whole lot more complicated for me. I get it- my humanity strikes again."

Sammy looks like he wants to say something, but honestly, Dean just doesn't want to hear it.

The human shakes his head, sighing, "I'll be in your room if you or whoever needs me… I need… I need a moment…"

Dean knows that his footsteps to distance himself from Castiel really won't do anything to help him at the moment. However, it doesn't mean he isn't going to do it. He decides in a moments whim that Sammy's room is not enough to clear his head. Dean glances outside, and he worries his bottom lip. Some fresh air would be nice...

Dean ignores his better instincts, and then decides to go outside._ Alone._

**...**

Castiel sits on his bed, face in his hands. This has all gotten so complicated- and it's all thanks to his stupid fucking wolf.

"Cassie, it's not that bad-"

"But I _can't_ have a mate- let alone have Dean as the contender!" Castiel shouts in despair, "Do you know how _frustrating_ this is!?"

Gabriel sighs in a bit annoyance and exhaustion, and he ends up sitting down on the edge of the bed to comfort his brother, "Cassie, Dean isn't a bad thing that life let happen to you. He's nice, he tries to do the right thing, and I've got a good feelin' about him. For once, don't be mad at your wolf… Just- let the chips fall where they intend to."

Castiel shakes his head adamently, "_No,_ Gabriel. I can't do that. I'll end up hurting Dean or worse- I may even change him without his consent- or something even more feral… I don't want to do that, especially when Dean has already gone through a similar experience. I don't want to be his second Alistair."

"But you won't be." Gabriel says with confidence- something Castiel is certainly lacking at the current moment- "You protected him from Alistair, you didn't attack him… Sure, your wolf got into its own form of handsy, but that's just the usual way alphas act when someone or something catches their eye. You're gonna be a possessive and protective bastard over Dean whether you like it or not."

"Maybe that's the point. I don't have a choice in this, Gabriel. Once again, my wolf decides to mark someone that I don't deserve in the first place…"

Gabriel furrows his brow, "You don't think you're good enough for Dean? …"

Castiel gives an empty chuckle, "Honestly, Gabriel, I don't think I'm good for anyone. I'm not good for this pack, for this world… I honestly don't think I'm even good enough for my wolf."

"Don't say things like that-"

"Why? Because they bother you?" Castiel looks up at his brother, seeing the tears well up in the omega's eyes, "Does everything that comes out of my mouth voice your thoughts?"

"No!" Gabriel hisses, "They don't! I don't think you're a bad person, and I don't think your wolf is a bad thing either! I'm upset because I don't like you saying and believing things that aren't true!"

Castiel just looks away, staring at the wall and talking with a nearly impassive voice, "Tell me, Gabriel… What makes those things false? Don't you remember what happened between me and Amelia? Don't you remember what I tried to do-"

Gabriel growls, silencing Castiel with its power, and the omega stands up with his hands balled into fists at his sides, "Don't start with that! You didn't know-_ I_ didn't know! The past is the past, and that's where it should stay and remain! Stop digging up what happened and just let it go! You have a pack now- a good pack- and you've been a good alpha and a good person! You help out strangers and help the sick, you've let wolves in when they had no place to go- and they would all die for you! Don't act like that doesn't mean anything, especially when you start thinking this way! You're not a bad person Cassie, you're a good one! You're a good alpha, and a good werewolf! It's shit that some things happened to us, yeah, but we move on from it! We don't go sulking around when our wolf tries to surface! Especially when all it was doing was trying to find a place to put your heart because you think you aren't allowed to have one!"

Gabriel stomps out of the room, leaving Castiel to stare at his door as it slams.

**...**

Dean wishes that he could disappear. Maybe for a few days, or a week or something longer- maybe to some place where he doesn't feel so utterly alone.

Here, in this world, Dean is the odd one out- the sore thumb. Wolves only treat him like a piece of paper- something they can mark up and transform into a mural similar to themselves. Humans are meant to be changed and morphed in this world- not to be leading packs or be selected by an alpha's wolf as a mate.

In short- Dean doesn't belong here- at least, not while he's _human._

The touchy subject has been brought up before, mostly when Dean was a small child. John had been helping Sammy learn how to shift fluidly when Dean first asked about getting changed, but after being yelled at for about an hour from John, Dean decided to never bring it up again. At least, not with John.

Dean was smarter than to ask Azazel about it- because seriously- that's a damn death wish. Instead, he asked Sammy. He was more open to it (of course), Dean remembers, because he wanted to have Dean as a wolf- a kind of comfort or coping thing. The trials and circumstances Azazel put him under stressed him out beyond belief, and most of the times that Dean came to help combat that shit, Sammy was already wearing thin in his control. However, their plans were halted when John found out about it.

He was angry at first, especially at Dean since he already told him no, and then he just sighed and sat his boys down to talk to them in a civil manner about it. John just quickly explained that Sammy wouldn't have been able to change Dean anyways until both of them were at least eighteen or older, and since Dean was ten and Sammy was only six, they would have failed in all of their attempts. Dean had pouted, telling his father that he wanted to be like them- to actually fit in with his new life and family- but John had abruptly turned him down. He told Dean that other than him and Sammy, that he had no family here. That changed slightly when Adam came along, and Dean was angry at John for sleeping with one of the members of Azazel's pack and getting the chick knocked up. That's all he was at the time- angry, frustrated. John pulled him aside when Dean found out Adam wasn't human and gave his son "the speech" again.

"_There has to be at least one of us-"_ he had said to Dean that night, "_who isn't going to be forced into becoming a monster._"

Dean didn't understand- he was only an angsty teenager then- but as the years passed and he and Sammy grew up, he realized what his dad meant. Azazel meant to make Sammy into a murdering machine, and he had already made John do things he wasn't proud of, and Adam was on the sidelines getting trained as a backup. John wanted to keep Dean innocent and separate from that kind of guilt and darkness. However, Dean only understood when Alistair had been dragging him away while smirking, the whole time his flesh was covered with Sammy's blood- even on his teeth and lips.

Dean shivers at the dark memory, his feet slightly stumbling over each other as he walks down the winding path. He's grateful that those times are behind him, and that's all they can be- even if they are memories- they are not his present. However, there's always some way they can snake their way into now.

"Hey there, gorgeous."

Dean jumps in fear, recognizing that nasally voice, "Alistair-"

"Good to know you still remember me." the alpha appears from behind some trees, his smirk sinister as he slinks forward to stand in front of Dean, "But then again, how could you forget?"

"You bastard-" Dean takes a few steps back to try and run off, but as he begins hearing other wolves growl at him he knows that darting off isn't an option anymore, "you're breaking pack law-"

"Do I really give a damn? No." Alistair says simply, "I want you back, Dean. No boundary or opposing alpha is gonna stop me."

Dean shudders in disgust, but tries to keep his voice strong for the sake of not looking afraid- those his scent should tell otherwise- "It should, but then again you're an insane, obsessive bastard, so I'm not surprised…"

Alistair chuckles, and some of his followers begin circling Dean with their uneven, sharp teeth bared, "Oh, good to know that's what you think of me…" Alistair bats his eyelashes, "It's like you want me too-"

"Never in forever, you asshole!" Dean hisses out, feeling like he's prey that is about to be inside of its predators jaws.

Alistair's gaze darkens in mere seconds, "Too bad, because forever is all we're gonna have."

"What do you-"

Dean would finish his sentence, but Alistair flicks his wrist, and the wolves leap at Dean.

**...**

Castiel is pacing inside of his room.

Something is off- and he doesn't know what- just that something is wrong and he needs to fix it. Castiel's wolf is near the surface, begging for Castiel to let it free so it can scope out the danger and make sure that Dean is okay. The urge causes Castiel to sigh- Dean is _not_ his, never will be- and his wolf can get over that. However, as the buzzing underneath his skin worsens, Castiel decides to let his wolf go to make sure things are okay. Using Dean's sweet scent as a guide, Castiel tries to ease his fraying nerves.

His anxious paws carry him outside, and Castiel sniffs the air. As soon as the smells inside of it are processed, a loud snarl rips its way from Castiel's throat, and a battle cry summons itself into sound.

The message is clear: _Alistair has Dean Winchester._

**...**

Dean feels grit and dirt cling and drag on his skin as Alistair whistles some happy tune- like a bird singing its song.

"It's been so long, Dean-_ far_ too long- since I've gotten a taste of you…" Alistair's hand is gripping onto Dean's ankles as he drags him along, "Have you been good for me, Dean? You haven't let anyone else touch you like_ I_ have right?" before Dean has a chance to answer or to tell the alpha to die or something, Alistair laughs manically as the wolves pad alongside him, "What am I sayin', you probably couldn't even stomach it, could you?"

"F-Fuck off…" Dean watches groggily as they inch along, his body jerking forward every few moments as Alistair tugs him- his skin feels raw and dirty.

"We will later, Dean, but some things have to happen first." Alistair chuckles, and Dean watches the Novak territory slowly leave his view.

Dean's head hurts, and his lungs ache- there's blood all over his skin (he doesn't know if it's his) and his muscles burn from the strain and abuse they are currently receiving. However, Dean's focus on his pain is ended when a loud, angry howl comes from the Novak territory. It sounds familiar- and Dean's chest fills with a small shard of hope.

Dean doesn't know how he knows exatly, but it's- "_Cas-_ …" Dean's broken voice cuts off abruptly, the sound getting blocked out from a coughing fit that appears out of nowhere.

"Quiet!" Alistair hisses lowly, and it sounds like he is afraid of whatever or whoever made that howling noise, "I can't trust you around that… that _alpha…_" the last word is especially venomous.

"Cas-" Dean begins to call out, but Alistair's shoe meets his ribs and the ability to speak is lost to Dean.

Alistair growls, "You need to learn when to keep your mouth _shut,_ darling."

Dean coughs roughly, more of his breaths become ragged, and his vision is swimming.

Other angry howls cut into the air, causing Alistair to growl in frustration, "Seems like my plan is going to have to speed up, then… Dean, why do you have to make things so hard for us?"

"B-Because I don't want us-" Dean coughs out weakly, other wolves growling at him for denying their alpha, "I _never_ wanted us… It's always b-been just you…"

"You shouldn't be sayin' things like that, Dean-" Alistair's eyes darken with his warning, "you might make my wolf upset…"

Dean coughs up little dots red onto the dirt below, leaning heavily onto his forearms for support as Dean tries his best to glare at Alistair, "I don't give a fuck about your wolf-"

Another snarl sounds off in the distance, this time being closer than before- and Dean begins to reach for the sound's direction. He makes pitiful sounds from the pain as he slightly begins to crawl towards safety, only to have Alistair laugh at him.

"You were always so stubbornly naive, Dean… Here, let me clarify some things for you-" Alistair shifts to his mangled wolf in seconds.

The alpha looks like a sickly gray thing, mangy and scarred, and Dean gags as he notices the look in its eyes. Another snarl comes from the surrounding area, and now Dean can hear paws thundering against the ground as Alistair saunters closer. Dean glances down to see his thigh is bloodied, the denim ripped from assaulting teeth. Dean groans as he sees crimson drip down off of it, trickling onto the dirt below to create a slight puddle. God- he's going to die-

"P-Please _don't-"_ Dean pivots to look at Alistair, trying to defend himself, but he's so weak and Alistair's wolf- despite its sickly looks- is so strong, "I don't- _please-"_

Alistair's wolf snarls and gives a look that's completely feral, its fangs bared as it looms over Dean hungrily. The human can hear his heart and the paws from the Novak pack beating in his ears and on the ground, and he swallows nervously. Alistair's wolf growls one last time, parting its jaws to expose its mouth fully- and Dean screams in fear of the sharp, deadly canines.

Just as Alistair's teeth clamp down on his neck roughly, Dean screams at the top of his lungs, "_CAS!"_

**...**

"_CAS!"_

Castiel's wolf surges forward at the panicked sound of Dean's voice, Sam close behind, as a snarl escapes his jaws. The alpha of the Novak pack smells Dean's blood in the air, and it sets himself in fight mode. Several wolves from Alistairs pack try to attack, but Castiel throws them to the ground using the vice of his teeth. The whole time, his paws never cease their sprinting, and they only still over the dirt when a familiar, beaten form comes into view.

Castiel looks on in horror as Dean lies on the ground, his eyes rolling back into their sockets, his neck bloodied and currently in between Alistair's jaws. Sam roars, nearly jumping forward to end Alistair where he stands, but Castiel stops him with a glare.

This is between him and Alistair- especially concerning Castiel's wolf and its desire to rip out the opposing alpha's throat for hurting Dean.

"_Hello, Castiel. Nice for you to… join the party…_" Alistair gives Castiel a wolfish grin.

"_What did you do to Dean!?"_ Castiel demands, his teeth appearing as the flesh on his muzzle twitches in pure anger.

Alistair starts pacing around Dean, as though he were the alpha's prize and Castiel was not the proud winner- "_I merely did something that should have happened years ago… I mean- with the things I knew... I'm surprised I didn't change him sooner._"

Castiel growls lowly, but it seems as though Alistair knows something all of them don't, so he says nothing.

"_Does Sam even know?"_ Alistair teases, his teeth glinting in the limited light.

"_Know what, you sick bastard!?"_ Sam shouts in a growl, already in position to murder Alistair where he paces.

Castiel holds back another feral sound to try to get answers instead, the whole time his eyes keep glancing to Dean- his body is still and bloody- "_What are you even talking about, Alistair? …_"

The other alpha gives Castiel a look, one that causes the fur on Castiel's neck to stand on end, "_Azazel spoke of ways to predict what kind of wolf a person would become when they were bitten…_"

"_How does this apply to Dean?"_ Castiel listens closely, but his eyes are on Dean, focusing on the minute twitches in his form.

Alistair notices the change in Dean's movements as well, and his eyes turn a shade darker, "_It applies to him because I know what he's going to be… Azazel told me when he first came to the pack-"_

"_We didn't come into your pack!"_ Sam snarls fiercely, "_You forced us in there- you tortured Dean!"_

"_That's because he didn't listen._" Alistair would shrug nonchalantly if he were in human form, "_Too bad his instincts are going to be tellin' him otherwise. He's going to be beggin' for me before you know it._"

Castiel takes a step forward- his wolf demands to take control for Alistair thinking about Dean in such a way- his paws cautious as he proceeds, "_Alistair, if there is something you need to say, I suggest getting it out now while your throat is still intact._"

Alistair gives a wolfish laugh, and he doesn't even seem moved by the threat, "_So impatient… Hm, guess you can wait to find out yourself since you don't know patience-"_

Sam lurches forward instead of Castiel, beginning to attack Alistair as his other follows begin to bring their own onslaught into the fight. Suddenly, the air is full of snarls and howling, flashes of teeth and claws everywhere as forms collide with one another.

Castiel, however, doesn't close in on the other wolves- his irises remain locked on Alistair as he growls.

"_Wanna come make your threat from earlier true?"_ Alistair taunts, "_Wanna hurt me because someone else changed your poor lil' Dean Winchester instead of it being you?"_

Castiel's wolf wants to snap his neck, but Castiel doesn't give a retort.

"_Aw, the big bad wolf is out of retorts!"_ Alistair drops himself into a fighting position, "_That's good enough for me-"_

The offending alpha leaps at Castiel, his teeth bared and ready to maim. Castiel sidesteps the launched attack easily, his wolf adding itself into his conscious so he can fight effectively. Castiel's eyes look over to Dean for a split second, and all he sees is red and movement from him. The smell of Dean's blood is still heavy in the air- now beginning to mix with the other scents of wolves- and it causes Castiel's alpha to become enraged.

However, all of the fighting is stopped when a high-pitched wail breaks through, and Castiel looks over to see Dean curling up into a ball on the ground.

"_CAASSSS!"_ Dean screams, his voice sounding as though his vocal cords were falling apart.

The Novak alpha growls towards Alistair, his wolf surfacing and taking full control. In seconds, Castiel has Alistair pinned to the ground, his deadly canines wrapped tightly around Alistair's neck.

"_I'm n-not surprised…_" Alistair grits out, "_That lil' whore always s-smelled of you after you met…_"

Castiel's jaws tightens on his flesh as his reply.

Alistair coughs, some blood seeping out of his muzzle as he speaks, "_Go ahead- do it… Either w-way it's not gonna save your p-precious Dean-"_

Castiel's wolf takes initiative, and finishes Alistair with one swift twist from his jaws.

The Novak alpha stares at Alistair's now lifeless form. His eyes begin to dull, and his mouth hangs open loosely as blood spreads out onto the dirt. However, as Dean begins writhing on the ground, Castiel's attention is quickly diverted away from Alistair's corpse.

"_D-Dean?_ …" Castiel knows that he more than likely can't understand him- but he's too strung out at the moment to consider being rational.

"Cas…" Dean coughs up blood just like Alistair had, except this time, Castiel wants to stop its flow- "C-Cas… _p-please…_"

A whine escapes Castiel's throat, and he licks away some of the blood in an attempt to somehow comfort Dean. It only worsens Castiel's internal panic when the crimson liquid doesn't taste human anymore.

"N-Need you…" Dean lets out a pitiful noise, grabbing onto Castiel and anywhere on his form that he can reach.

Castiel lowers himself onto the ground, allowing Dean to weakly climb onto his form. The whole time, Dean coughs and sputters out nonsense, and his fingers stick to Castiel's coat with his blood.

Sam rushes over out of nowhere, his muzzle covered in a dark red as he barks to Castiel, "_Is Dean okay?"_

"_I don't know-"_ Castiel answers honestly, whining as Dean nearly falls off of his back, "_I think- I think Alistair changed him-"_

Sam lets out a quick noise of despair, and rushes over to help Dean get onto Castiel's back, "_That bastard!"_

"_We'll worry about it later, right now, we need to get him back to the house so we can access the damage._"

The fight is still rampaging on- even with Alistair lying dead on the ground in the midst of it- and no other wolf is truly paying attention to anything other than the offending wolf in front of them and where their teeth will sink in. It's like a massacre.

Castiel takes a breath to try and calm himself, and he feels Dean sag from exhaustion on his back- "_Find Gabriel. Get him back to the house as soon as you can. You're in charge of this fight-_"

"_But I'm not the pack alpha!"_ Sam barks out in shock.

"_You are for now._" Castiel looks seriously at Sam as he cautiously stands, Dean holding onto his coat weakly, "_I have to stay with Dean, and that means I won't be able to finish this fight. You're the only person I can trust right now, Sam. Please…_"

Sam takes a few seconds, but then nods, "_Alright… I'll try to find Gabe first…_"

"_Please do, I don't want him getting hurt."_ Dean groans weakly on Castiel's back, urging the need for Castiel to leave even further, "_If there's anything urgent, just take care of it as you see fit. We'll discuss this later._"

Sam lets his gaze linger on Castiel for a moment, and he mutters, "_Be careful with my brother…_"

"_I will be._"

Seconds later, Castiel is going at half-speed down the trail that leads back to his territory. Dean clings on to his fur loosely, barely being able to hang on as he coughs. Castiel, despite the fear of Dean losing consciousness before they reach the pack house, is stalled due to Dean vomiting. Castiel has to stop by the stream to allow Dean to let his stomach lurch out its contents, and he waits patiently as Dean lays on the bank, washing away blood and other fluids with a shaky hand.

"C-Cas…" Dean groans, and the alpha is immediately by his side, "Need… _home…_"

Castiel helps Dean climb back onto his back, and his eyes look over to the bank. The dirt is bloodied from where Dean laid on it, and Castiel fights the urge to try and remove it. There are bigger problems than that right now- and Dean needs him.

Castiel begins the trek back once again, his trot not helping his nerves- the ones that beg Castiel to sprint. However, Castiel knows that Dean won't be able to hold on if he does that, and making things worse won't help at all.

"Alpha…" Dean mumbles almost unconsciously, and Castiel's ears perk up, "Cas… my… _m-my alpha…_"

Castiel sees the house come into view, and he can't be more grateful than he is now. His paws carry himself and Dean inside, and Castiel's wolf backs off so he can fix Dean. Dean groans when he reaches the floor, and his eyelids are shut tightly in pain as Castiel shifts back into human form.

"Dean, are you okay?" Castiel asks, his voice gruff as he picks up Dean bridal style.

Dean's hands grab onto Castiel tightly, his nose moving into the crook of the alpha's neck, "Cas…"

Castiel furrows his brow, but continues with carrying Dean into the medical bay at the house. He comes into the room, placing Dean down on the examination table gently as Dean lets out a long, pleading whine. His scent shifts, causing Castiel to look over at Dean with concern.

"Dean, what hurts? …" he asks cautiously, his mind reeling for answers.

"E-Everything…" Dean's hands fly over his stomach, "F-Feel sick…"

Castiel rushes over with a trashcan, reaching Dean in enough time that he's able to puke again without getting it all over himself and the table, "Just breathe, Dean… This will all go away in a few moments. The bite always causes sickness."

Dean opens his eyes only a fraction, and from what Castiel can see, his gaze is a frightened one- "Wait... C-Cas… what's happenin' to me? …"

"I believe that Alistair's bite has caused you to… change..." Castiel trails off.

"Oh god-" Dean lurches forward, vomiting again, and Castiel pats his back while feeling absolutely useless.

Dean settles on the examination table seconds later, coughing, "Cas-"

"Just rest, Dean. You'll feel better in a few moments once your body starts to heal itself. You'll find that you'll regain strength after every minute that passes, I assure you." Castiel wipes away some of the sweat that has formed on Dean's brow, "In the mean time, I'll try to fix as much as I can…"

Dean's eyes flutter shut, and Castiel immediately begins searching for supplies. He gathers bandages and ointments, placing them next to Dean as he starts to tend to his wounds. Dean shifts slightly under Castiel's care, and the alpha tries his best to calm his riled up wolf.

"Cassie!?" Gabriel rushes into the room, his hair askew and a few bruises are forming on his skin, "Oh shit- Dean!"

"Alistair bit and changed him…" Castiel says weakly, Dean nodding off for a few moments below, "I don't know what to do-"

Gabriel comes up to his older brother's side, "You're doing fine, okay? Dean needs you to be calm right now. Can you do that for him?"

"Yes."

Gabriel nods, "Alright- then keep bandaging him, okay? I'll help out."

Castiel looks down towards the floor, his heart sinking with hopelessness, "But Gabriel, what if- what if he doesn't survive the first transformation, or-"

"Stop right there." Gabriel's voice is assertive, and Castiel listens to him, "Dean _isn't_ going to die- no one- is going to die, you got that? Keep your head level, and focus on getting Dean healthy again, okay?"

"Okay…" Castiel echos, but it doesn't help him in any way.

The thought of losing Dean makes Castiel worry, and his wolf seems to be on an even worse downfall because of it. Dean lays on the table, face no longer scrunched up in pain, and his breathing is even- but shallow. Castiel's instincts beg him to fix it- to fix Dean- but the alpha doesn't know how. Gabriel senses this fear, and he tries his best with his scent and words to calm his brother into a rational state. It doesn't work as he intends it to. At least, not fully.

"Cas…"

Castiel's head snaps upwards instantly, his attention full on Dean as his eyes slowly open, "Dean? …"

Gabriel sighs, "Alright- just… just keep yourself in line, Cassie. Dean should start recovering in a few seconds, but that doesn't mean he can push himself just yet. I'm leaving now. I have to see how Sam is-"

"No, you're not going back out into that fight." Castiel growls.

Castiel expects Gabriel to lay down his guns, except, someone else reacts to the sound.

Dean whines on the examination table, turning over and over several times before stilling in a submissive position. Castiel's mouth goes dry as Gabriel awkwardly clears his throat.

"I-I'm gonna go now…"

"Okay…" Castiel whispers, eyes still heavily training on Dean.

Dean finally realizes what he was doing after a few more seconds, and he suddenly pops out of his position as if he would die if he didn't. His face is red from embarrassment, and Castiel feels even worse when he curls up into a tight ball. Castiel wants to comfort Dean, to ask him how he feels- but he would probably just make things worse for them at the moment. Especially for Dean.

"Dean…" when this only causes Dean to move away from Castiel, the alpha sighs, "Dean, look at me-"

"No…" Dean grits out, "I don't- I can't-"

Castiel reaches out and places a hand on Dean, only to have him sprawl out on the table in the exact position from earlier. Castiel is sure his scent is giving off pheromones of arousal, and that his pupils have dilated, but he does not act on his urges for Dean's sake. In fact, he removes his hand and takes a step away, his wolf roaring in his head to accept the sign of submission and-

"W-Why, Cas?" Dean chokes out suddenly, "Why am I doing this?"

"I don't… I'm not sure." Castiel admits sheepishly, "I won't be able to know for certain until time passes on, and the first full moon arrives…"

Dean swallows, and his jade eyes meet Castiel's- they are full of fear and uncertainty- "W-What do you mean? …"

Castiel pauses for a moment, not wanting to answer Dean- but he has to- "When humans are changed into werewolves, depending on their age as well, the next full moon is when they will shift into their wolf form… Not… not all people survive it…"

Dean pales.

Castiel wishes he can say something to comfort him.

"Cas… I'm… I'm scared…" Dean looks at the alpha pitifully.

"I was scared too…"

Dean's brow furrows, and he uncurls slightly- he already looks hundreds of times better, so there's hope Castiel can now cling onto- "W-What do you mean? …"

Castiel sighs, looking down towards the floor as he speaks, "Gabriel and I were not born werewolves… We were turned."

"I thought… I thought you weren't. Sammy and Gabe told me, but they never gave any details..." Dean mumbles, looking away.

"It's alright- not many people know what happened…" Castiel closes his eyes, "It was quite some time ago…"

Dean moves slightly on the table, starting to sit up, "What happened? …"

The alpha pulls up a chair and sets himself down into it, closing his palms together as he remembers that time that changed everything- "Gabriel and I were on a camping trip. Gabriel had just graduated high school, and I had been attending college for nearly two years at the time. To celebrate, Gabriel and I decided to go camping for a few days- to let all of the stress we had built up over some months go… I was twenty, Gabriel was eighteen- we were just kids trying to have a fun weekend. We didn't… how could we have known? …"

"Cas…" Dean shuffles closer, and he doesn't seem aware of the distance shrinking in between them.

"It was late at night, the fire just went out…" Castiel remembers it well- the smell of smoke and pine trees, the crackle of embers as they flew into the air like reverse snowflakes- "Gabriel and I were stargazing for a little bit. I remember that the moon was the biggest I'd ever seen it. It was nearly one in the morning when Gabriel and I decided to head back into the tent to sleep… Except, we never got to."

Dean listens on closely.

Castiel recalls the sounds as if they were happening just now, and he can feel the fear that had been coursing through his veins as if it was still there- "Something snatched us before we'd even gotten our fingers on the tent's zipper. It was growling and making all sorts of feral noises. Gabriel and I were absolutely terrified- we didn't know what it was… Well, until it decided to bite us. I didn't know what was happening, and it took having the creatures teeth sinking into my neck for me to realize that I was getting bitten by a werewolf."

"Cas." Dean is leaning off of the edge of the table now, his gaze concerned when Castiel meets it.

"It's alright, Dean." the alpha assures quietly, "I suppose at the time I thought my brother and I were just going to die. The wolf that had attacked us was blood-thirsty and violent, and it seemed like we weren't going to get away in time. We would have been meals to that thing if someone hadn't of found us… They were nearby campers, thankfully ones that were hunters- and they had guns and weapons to drive the werewolf away. Gabriel and I left that place as soon as we could…"

Dean is paying attention fully now, his fingers turning a ghostly white against the examination table, "What happened after that?"

Castiel wants to answer Dean honestly, but, the past is too much of a cold slap to the face for the alpha to admit its existence. Instead, Castiel just blinks away the actual memories of what happened to him afterwards- the changes, the blood lust- and he forces them back down into the mist of his subconscious. There… but not completely.

"Cas? …" Dean prods cautiously, and he looks concerned as he begins to inch forward.

"I'm fine, just-" Castiel doesn't look at Dean- can't when all that comes from his lips are lies- "it was a hard change is all… Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take care of my pack. If you need me, I suggest sending someone for me."

Dean opens his mouth to say something, his expression telling Castiel that he's hesitant. Maybe it's to plead for the alpha to stay, maybe something else is wrong- Castiel will never know, because Dean just shuts his mouth. The alpha watches as Dean nods his head and averts his eyes, making him seem absolutely small on the examination table.

Castiel stands up, leaving Dean alone in the room- but honestly, he's running away from the truth.

* * *

**Response to Guest Reviews: _**

**WinchesterDean:** **(**_Wow this story is really good. Please continue to update this is amazing._**)  
****Thanks! I'm glad that you really like it!  
I updated liked you asked me to! :D**

**Casismyfavorite:** **(**_This is soooooo cute:) I wonder whats going to happen to Dean because hes human can he be a wolfs mate?_  
_Update soon!_ **)  
****Yes, he can- but as I said in the author's note, Dean isn't going to stay human. Whoopsie.  
JUST UPDATED SO WHAT UP!?**

**LeavinFateUp2Me:** **(**_Great start on this story, i love alpha/beta/omega stories but this is a first were Dean is human. I can't wait for more of this story, great job so far and so well told._**)  
****Thanks!  
Yeah- most people do their own thing I guess... Sorry if the news of Dean changing is a problem- but there's plot behind it I swear, and it wasn't like Cas did it or anything. :/  
Anyways, I hope I don't disappoint!**


	5. I Wanna Shelter You

****Author's Note:_**

**Yay- update!**

**Sorry this took a while- I just have so many fics n' stuff to do, and life comes into play as well.  
Another thing that set me back was that I scrapped my idea for DCBB. It was just so long I didn't think I would finish it in time. However, that doesn't mean I gave up the story or on DCBB. I made another idea for DCBB, and decided that I'll post the one I had written originally for it later on once I am more calm in the writing realm.**

**I did have enough written to make one more update without adding anything, but I would have left out at a crucial point.  
Basically- you guys are delving into the deeper plot here, and you're going to find out how Dean is different. Cas, as I've decided, shall just have an unusually defiant wolf side. Sorry.  
Oh yeah... and Meg shows up?**

**Enjoy!~**

* * *

Dean sits on the table in slight shock.

Well, with everything that's happened in the past thirty minutes- can you blame him?

"Dean!" Sammy rushes into the room, instantly grappling Dean into an embrace that makes the eldest Winchester's ribs ache with the strain, "Oh my god- I thought you were going to _die-"_

"Sammy…" Dean pushes back gently, trying to seem sincere with his words, "Don't think things like that…"

Sammy bites his lower lip, obviously fighting back his troublesome emotions, "I know you're better now- I mean, you don't even look like you're injured really, but… I just- how can I not when you're all bloody and limp? …"

Dean sighs, "Just think that I'm gonna be _really_ sore in the morning. Other than that, don't go jumpin' the gun, okay?"

"Okay…" Sammy agrees quietly.

"So…" Dean tries to ignore the obvious tension in the room, one formed by talking about his demise- "How is everything? What happened?"

Sammy sighs, his shoulders falling, "The fight stopped a little while after Castiel brought you back here. Gabe and I helped get rid of the remaining wolves from Alistair's pack… For Alistair… well, Castiel killed him."

Dean blinks for a moment, surprised slightly, "Isn't that against pack law or something?"

"Sometimes… it's… it's blurred around the edges. I think this time will be a consideration to that." Sammy sighs, "Besides, I wanted that bastard's death for some time now. I won't give Castiel any hell for what he did because _I_ would have done it myself."

Dean just shakes his head, seeming small in the space he is in, "So Alistair's gone? …_ For sure_ this time? … I don't have to worry about him anymore?"

Sammy has a small grin, one that's slightly sad because of the memories that man gave to the both of them- and one that's slightly happy for the fact he can't form any more for the both of them- "Yeah, Dean… Alistair's gone- for good. You have Castiel to thank for that."

"I'll give him a word or two later…" Dean grumbles, "Right now, I wanna know how things are in the pack."

"Dean-"

"There's people I care about here, Sammy. Bobby, Ellen, Jo… our old pack- they're just as important to me now as they were when I was technically their alpha. Now come on, I want to help."

Sammy watches on with weary eyes as Dean, "Sure, Dean… go ahead. Knock yourself out."

As Dean rushes to help his pack- old and new- and foreign feelings and urges bombard him. However, they aren't as important as the members of Dean's old pack.

**...**

It's been a week since Alistair's attack on Dean.

Things have slightly changed in the Novak pack since then.

Dean now works in the kitchen at the pack house. It's nice, and Dean enjoys it well enough. Everyone who has ever eaten his food has said it was good, so he isn't worried about his placement. Mostly, however, Dean enjoys cleaning up the place. It sounds weird enough, yeah, but Dean likes seeing the metallic surfaces shine and the air to smell of lemon cleaner- so sue him if you think that's a bad thing. (His brother is practically the pack lawyer, so_ good fucking luck_ in court.)

To add onto these new developments, Dean has his own room now. It's slightly smaller than Sammy's, and its layout is fairly spartan, but Dean doesn't mind. He's more so of a "functionality-is-best" person anyways- and being in a pack house- well… there's not much room for individuality. That means Dean's okay with having no rock band posters or magazine clippings adorning the walls. He doesn't need to adorn the place with anything to tell people it's his. Sammy sometimes checks in, so does Gabe on random occasions, but other than that- Dean doesn't have anymore visitors. He's okay with that too.

On that note- Cas has been more distant to Dean now, and the eldest Winchester doesn't understand why. Sammy said he's just going through things. Maybe it's something like guilt for taking down Alistair without considering pack law or his conscious first- but Dean doesn't buy it. Castiel obviously cares a little bit about those things, but to _this?_ When _Alistair_ was involved? No fucking way. Castiel wanted to murder Alistair just like everyone else did, and after having the putrid alpha sneak over into their territory and kidnap Dean, no one would have cared if the whole thing ended when Alistair's life did. That's why Dean thinks something is up- because _really-_ what could honestly be holding Cas in some emotional or physical vice?

"Something just doesn't seem right to me, Sammy…" Dean mumbles, helping his brother was dishes, "Doesn't he seem… _off_ to you? …"

"Dean, what does it honestly matter?" Sammy makes a face as he scrapes some old food off of the ceramic surface before handing it to Dean, "It's not really our concern. Besides, Castiel isn't even acting that differently. In fact, he's nicer to me than he was before."

Dean grunts, trying to remove a stubborn piece of food with his nail, "Well, maybe that's for the best, but… Has Gabriel said anything to you?"

The youngest Winchester sighs, "No, Dean. He hasn't. To be honest, I don't think Castiel has really been interacting with anyone recently."

"I should go talk to him… or Gabe should. After all, you two talk almost constantly."

Sammy blushes fiercely, "Dean, what are you-"

"I'm not_ blind,_ dammit. I can see how you two are actin' with one another. Jesus, Sammy, if you wanna have Gabe be your mate just-"

"Please stop right there." Sammy groans, "I don't- I can't think about that."

Dean sets the dish that had been in his fingers aside, tilting his head, "Why is that, hotshot? What's so bad about Gabe that you can't court him or start doing whatever it is you alphas do when you see somethin' you like?"

Sammy shakes his head, "It's not that he's bad, Dean- fuck- he's _perfect,_ I just… It's not that simple, Dean. I can't just go pouring my heart out to him… It doesn't work that way-"

"Then how does it work?" Dean shrugs as Sammy groans, "Oh, stop complaining- if you actually start thinking that there's a possibility of you two instead of thinking it's a dead end, maybe somethin' can actually happen between you guys."

"When did you ever become a master of feelings, Dean? Yesterday?"

"Maybe, you lil' shit." Dean rolls his eyes playfully, "Just-_ try_ for once. I'm your big brother here, so I'm gonna give a shit if you're happy or not. If Gabe makes you feel like sunshine and rainbows, then I say go for it. There may be some problems with Cas, of course, but I think that he'll eventually come around. Besides, it's Gabe's choice in the end, anyways."

Sammy just looks too shocked to speak.

"Come on and hurry up, we're almost done with this load."

Dean and Sammy finish up the load of dishes, and are heading back to Dean's room when they run into a face they haven't seen in a few days. Cas blinks as he sees the Winchesters- as if maybe they weren't supposed to even be in the same hallway as him- and he clears his throat.

"Hello, Sam." the pack alpha's eyes move over to Dean, and they dilate, "Hello, Dean…"

"It's been a while since I've seen you." Dean offhandedly comments, trying to make a regular conversation form from the awkwardness as he smiles slightly, "What's been holdin' you up?"

Cas blinks for a few seconds, his answer impassive as he says it, "Business, I suppose."

Sammy nods, looking slightly confused as his doubt slips into his voice, "Yeah, business…"

"I'm supposing you have been spending time with Gabriel." Castiel looks towards the youngest Winchester then, and his gaze narrows, "Tell me, how has_ that_ been going so far?"

Sammy turns a bright red at the unsaid accusation, and everyone knows this will only lead to a fight, so Dean of course swoops in to save the day- "It's been goin' good. All three of us hang out sometimes. We have movie nights every now and then. You should join us."

Cas' expression visibly changes from a hostile manner to one of surprise- "I don't know if I could prolong my work for so long-"

"Work?" Dean raises a quizzical brow, "Since when did you become a businessman?"

"I always have been one. Being the pack alpha requires that there is strenuous paperwork and such everyday that I have to take care of. Which reminds me, I have a lot of that still sitting on my desk. If you'll excuse me…"

Cas passes in between both of the Winchesters, his shoulder gently brushing against Dean's. Dean looks towards Cas then, his breath caught in his throat as he watches the alpha walk by himself for the rest of the hallway's length.

"I guess somethin'_ is_ up with Castiel…" Sammy murmurs, "It's not like him to be so… disconnected."

"I told you!" Dean sighs, "Come on, let's go talk to Gabe and see what all three of us can come up with…"

So that's what they do.

**...**

Castiel shuts the door to his room abruptly, leaning his back against the wood for support. His breath is ragged and short, and his wolf begs to be let free so he can see Dean again and mark him as his.

"_No._" Castiel growls to himself, his wolf whining in his mind, "We are _not_ to do that to Dean, do you hear me?"

His wolf backs away, but only slightly.

In all reality, Castiel's desk is not covered with papers as he described it to be while talking to the Winchesters. In fact, it's completely clear of any clutter, just like the rest of Castiel's room. What does this mean?

It means that Castiel was lying, and was making an excuse for himself so he wouldn't be near Dean.

Now… why is that? …

_Want. Ours.  
_Castiel's wolf chants in Castiel's skull, like some feral ritual that would cause Dean to magically become its possession.

"No. Dean is not to be owned,_ especially_ by you." Castiel throws himself heavily onto his mattress, his near-constant headache growing in strength, "We won't take him…"

_Take him. Mark him. Breed him. Ours.  
_His wolf paces at the edge of Castiel's conscious, its crude sense of possession over Dean causes Castiel to feel worrisome- especially as certain images of the eldest Winchester appear in the forefront of his mind.

"We will do no such thing…" Castiel weakly counters, and he burrows himself underneath the covers, "He is not ours…"

_Want… Need… Dean…_

"Fuck…"

**...**

Dean leans against the wall in Sammy's room, watching as Gabe and Sammy discuss the strange behavior that Castiel has adopted recently.

"I don't know what's going on with him," Gabe answers honestly, "if I knew I would tell you. I promise."

"Well, we need to figure something out, then." Sammy turns to face Dean, "Do you have any ideas?"

Dean shakes his head, "No, not really…"

Gabe smirks, and Dean worries over what that expression exactly entails, "Hm, I have an idea, Dean-o. How about we test somethin'?"

"Test what?" Dean slightly glares at Gabe.

He may have only been here in the Novak pack for a week or two- but he already knows Gabe well.

"Just a hunch of mine…" Gabe trails off for a moment, then instantly looks at Sammy, "Oh my god, _Sam-Sam!"_

Sammy furrows his brow, "Yeah? …"

"Remember how I talked to you about that dickhead Balthazar?"

Sammy looks weary as the conversation progresses, "Yeah? …"

"Remember how I always told you he flirted with anyone who passed by him or like, breathed?"

"Okay, wherever you're going with this- I'm not doin' it." Dean crosses his arms defiantly.

Gabe rolls his eyes lightly, "Oh, don't be a sourpuss, Dean-o. It's all just fun and games. I promise I'm not makin' you jump a canyon or something. Who do you think I am?"

Dean narrows his gaze, "You're Gabriel Novak. That automatically should make me nervous."

"Ah, this is why you and I are friends." Gabe smiles, then looks at Sammy, "Come on! Operation Jealousy is a go!"

Dean groans, "Wait... _Jealousy?"_

**...**

Dean feels like some game pawn as Sammy and Gabe lead him to some space in the pack house. They have sly grins on their faces, as if they know something Dean doesn't, and that worries the eldest Winchester.

"Please, I'm too young to die." Dean pleads jokingly- well, _part_ of him is serious…

"Oh, shush, Dean-o. You're gonna be fine." Gabe still has his hands at Dean's back, pushing him forwards, "I wouldn't throw you to the wolves, per say."

"I'm gonna shoot you."

"You don't have a gun." Gabe counters.

"I could, but you might not know about it." Dean gets some enjoyment out of the slowed pace that Gabe changes to, and he seems to be more cautious.

Suddenly, however, they're in some eating area of the pack house. It vaguely reminds Dean of public cafeterias in movies or whatever, some that he saw while watching TV at one in the morning throughout the years.

Gabe lets Dean go, and looks towards Sammy, "I'm gonna go get Cassie. You two stay here for now."

"Alright."

Sammy watches Gabe leave- so much so- that Dean has to snap his fingers a few times in front of his brother's face to get his attention. They move to a nearby table and sit down. Sammy, however, still looks out of it.

"Hey, earth-to-Sammy!" Dean lightly smacks his younger brother's cheek, "Get your knot out of your head, _jeez._"

"_Dean!"_ Sammy scolds, cheeks blazing from the words.

Dean snorts and rolls his eyes slightly, "Oh come on, stop actin' all surprised n' stuff. You make bedroom eyes at Gabe constantly. Just fuckin' ask him, dude."

Instead of denying his feelings like beforehand, Sammy sighs, "I don't know if he'll accept, Dean. Gabe… Gabe has been through hell because of alphas, betas even, and I think he doesn't wanna get hurt in those kind of ways again…"

"Are you _assuming_ that he doesn't want to try, or do you _know_ for certain? By that, I mean that you actually heard him say the words, 'I don't want a mate' come out of his mouth."

"I guess I'm assuming it…"

Dean sighs, and he hopes that his brother will stop being so damn hesitant in the near future, "Sammy, stop convincing yourself things. If you really want to know, casually bring it up or somethin'. There's other ways than just directly asking. You won't know for certain what he wants until Gabe tells you himself."

Sammy looks down towards his lap in defeat, "I guess you're right…"

"There's no guessing. I'm _always_ right. Now come on, who is this Balthazar guy you two were talkin' about?"

"I'm right here, darling."

Dean's head spins to find some guy staring at him suggestively, and Dean furrows his brow, "Uh… hi?"

Balthazar slinks into the chair next to Dean, his eyes dilating and his voice sweet and heavy with a British accent, "So… would you mind explaining why you're asking about me, gorgeous?"

Dean makes a face, and Sammy represses a chuckle from the expression as Dean replies, "I heard rumors about you, that's it."

"What kind of rumors?" Balthazar inches closer, a half-smirk working its way onto his face, "Maybe I can tell you if they're true or not."

"Look, I don't care if you can weight lift twenty pounds with your big toe while belching the ABC's, I honestly don't care at all-"

Balthazar presses a fingertip to Dean's lip, and the eldest Winchester glares at the man as Sammy loses it in his seat- "Shush, love. Don't strain yourself over something so trivial. I'm Balthazar, the _only_ beta ever known to be able to produce a knot-"

Dean moves away in a disgusted way and gags as Sammy falls off of his chair from his full-on laughter.

"Are you surprised, my love?" Balthazar soothes- as if Dean's repulsion was nonexistent- "Most people are when they find out, and let me tell you puberty was an experience-"

"Please stop, oh my god- _gross!"_ Dean keeps gagging, and at this rate, he's going to vomit.

Suddenly, however, the banter between them and Sammy's laughter are cut out by a loud snarl. Dean's head whips around to see Cas, his body tensed with anger as he marches up to them. Dean pivots his torso, holding up his hands in defense as Cas moves past him to growl at Balthazar. People begin to stare at the commotion with unrestrained interest.

"Oh… alpha…" Balthazar comments awkwardly, his flirty aura gone in mere seconds.

"Balthazar." Cas' voice is low and angered, and something in Dean makes him want to cower from or change the tone Cas is using, "What have I told you about your bragging and flirting?"

Balthazar averts his gaze towards the floor submissively, his voice small, "T-That it isn't wanted-"

"Yes, it_ isn't._ Now, I'd like for you to apologize for imposing your untrue abilities on Dean._ Now._"

Dean flushes at the words, and finds Balthazar's attention on him once again- except it's pitifully apologetic- "I'm sorry, Dean… It- it won't happen again. I d-didn't mean to try and get you to s-sleep with me-"

"Like it ever would." Cas snorts and turns to the eldest Winchester, "Dean, follow me please."

"Cas-"

Dean, against his will, is forced into a standing position. Cas then drags Dean away from Balthazar. The whole time he is growling with venom underneath his breath. Gabe and Sammy know better than to follow them right now, and Dean wishes they didn't because he's kind of scared to face Cas in this mood alone. Dean swallows as he recognizes Cas' door, and he's placed inside. Cas shuts the slab of wood a few seconds after, leaving Dean locked in the room by himself.

"What the fuck- _Cas!"_ Dean bangs on the door in anger, "You asshat, let me _out!"_

"Not until I deal with Balthazar and the others, Dean." the alpha growls, and suddenly, Dean doesn't have the will to fight him anymore- "For now, you shall remain in my room alone. If another wolf decides to treat you in such a way, I will not hesitate to remove them from your presence. Now please, relax and enjoy your alone time- one free of horny, egotistical _betas."_

Dean blinks a few moments, thoroughly confused at Cas' words. However, before he can get any answers from the alpha, Cas is already retreating away from his door.

"Cas! Cas-_ please!"_ Dean bangs on the wood, "Shit! Shit shit _shit!"_

Dean slumps down on the ground in defeat, swallowing his saliva heavily. God- this isn't how he expected Sammy and Gabe's plan to go… Ugh- if only he had answers- … _Wait…_

Dean stands up then, deciding to find out things on his own. He walks over to Cas' desk, finding it clear of any papers minus one. It's a yellowed thing, worn with some age. It looks to be several years old, and the pen it is written in has slightly faded. Dean's brows furrow in confusion, and he picks it up to begin reading.

"_My dearest Castiel,_

_I don't know what's going on with you… but something has changed.  
You're not the same man I fell in love with in high school. You aren't- … you're not the Castiel I once knew.  
Maybe it's the stresses of college, or maybe it's just life starting to get to you in new ways- but I can't handle this madness anymore. I tried my hardest to move past this, to let it go, to let things just solve themselves- but it's not working.  
You're so possessive now, and you're compulsive in your actions. I can't go outside anymore without you lingering heavily over my shoulder. I have no more privacy here- and this is my own home. I'm supposed to feel safe, I'm supposed to feel happy- … I'm supposed to love you…_

_But I don't._

_At least, not anymore._

_Whatever has happened to you, whatever has warped you- I can't live with it anymore. I just can't.  
You leave bruises whenever you touch me in front of others- like some signature of your tie to me- you growl at people on the street when we walk by them- as if they might steal me away…  
I am not your property, Castiel. I am not to be owned.  
Even if I love you- or loved you, when I think of my feelings now- not even once have I considered this. This… feral side that you have somehow possessed.  
I'm scared for my life now, and I'd rather leave peacefully then call the police._

_So… I'm leaving you. I'm leaving us.  
I'm leaving this small little town of Pontiac, Illinois and I'm not looking back.  
I know that you're probably going to freak out, or get angry at me like you've been doing a lot lately, but it doesn't matter anymore.  
I'll be gone- I'll become a memory. We'll move on with our lives as if we never met._

_I wish we hadn't… almost._

_Goodbye, Castiel…_

_I-"_

The last bit of the paper is ripped off, and whether or not Castiel did it or whoever had written this did, Dean will never know. He can just tell that there's a sinking feeling in his chest, and he sets the letter down on the desk as if the paper had managed to scald his fingertips. He brings one hand to cover his mouth, trying to feign off his feelings rather than deal with them.

However, it is quickly interrupted as someone knocks on the door.

"Y-Yeah? …" Dean stutters, jumping slightly.

"Dean, I… I apologize for my actions…" Cas is at the door- and suddenly Dean's heart is beating somewhere near his throat- "I'm afraid that I was a bit… over the top…"

Dean rubs absently at his arm, "Yeah… I suppose you were."

The door opens, but Cas isn't looking at Dean. The floor holds his gaze, and Dean feels Cas' regret easily enough. The tension between them grows, but the change is something that remains unspoken.

"You may go now, if you wish." Cas steps aside from the doorway, but his eyes remain hidden from Dean.

"Cas…" Dean takes a step forward, and he can see it- can see the strain in Cas' muscles and neck as he fights the urge to meet Dean's irises with his own- "Cas, please look at me."

Cas shakes his head, "I _can't…_"

Dean pauses for a few seconds, "... Why not? …"

"I cannot trust myself around you anymore-" Cas blurts, but he stops himself from going any further.

"Cas, just talk to me." Dean inches forward, slightly moving his hand forwards, "Just tell me what's going on and what's wrong…"

Cas doesn't move, but Dean can tell he's fighting to be still- "Nothing's wrong…"

Dean gives a false smirk, his chuckle empty, "Yeah, of course."

"Dean-"

"No, Cas." Dean is assertive in his tone, his anger slightly building, "You sit here and act like everything's okay- that there's nothin' wrong- and suddenly, you do somethin' like blow up. There's obviously something going on, and you won't tell me. You won't let me help you. It's like I'm not good enough-"

Cas' head snaps up then, and Dean is startled by the movement, "That's _not_ the reason why, Dean."

"Then what is it?" Dean is slightly irritated- he hates this 'dance around it' thing- "Can you just fucking _tell_ me?"

"No, it's not-"

"Simple." they say at the same, and Dean groans, "Ugh, that's all it ever is to you guys. It's not simple to Sammy, it's not simple to you- just, _fuck!_ When has anything ever been simple! When has anything ever been easy! You two act like saying one damn thing is the end of the world! That just opening up about things is just too much! You drag us all in and then you shove us all out in seconds! Just- pick a god damn direction, okay!?"

Cas stares at Dean, his gaze hard, "Dean, please leave…"

"Fine- you stupid fucking_ alpha-"_ Dean stomps his way out of the room, "I'll remember this the next time somethin' fuckin' happens!"

Dean pushes past other people in hallway, not even giving a shit anymore.

**...**

It's a few days after the argument between Cas and Dean when _it_ happens.

The full moon is scheduled to be that night, and Dean is weary as the hours tick on. These could be his final hours, and he won't know for certain until the moon makes its way into the sky. However, that's not the only thing that is up in the air at the moment.

"I wonder what you'll present as…" Gabe murmurs off to the side- he's lying on his hip, his arms bracing underneath his head as he stares up at the ceiling.

They're in Sammy's room at the moment.

"I hope I'm not an alpha…" Dean is on his stomach, lying on the floor, "That would be _awful."_

They're all sweating as they lay around- the air conditioning went out the other day, and now the heat is unbearable for almost everyone- well, except Sammy, for some reason.

"I would laugh, honestly." Sammy chuckles, "Seriously? Three alphas in one pack? Talk about ridiculous."

Dean shrugs, his shirt sticking awkwardly to his back, "Yeah… God, I'm so _nervous._"

Sammy and Gabe suddenly become serious, "It's reasonable for you to be." they say in unison.

Dean just tries to relax on the floor, "Any tips I should know?"

"Changing hurts like a bitch." Gabriel murmurs, "I remember my first full moon well enough…"

"Cas started talking to about that…" Dean begins, "About how you and him were attacked n' stuff. He never finished his story…"

Gabe's mood slightly sours, and Dean feels slightly guilty, "It's a soft spot for him. What happened afterwards really hurt him."

Dean looks down towards the floor, his face resting on his forearms, "He wouldn't tell me when I asked about it. He just let it be. But… I know that there's something in the past that's affectin' him now."

"I agree." Gabe murmurs.

"Was there someone in Cas' life? … Someone… someone special?" Dean tilts his head up to look at the youngest Novak.

Gabe furrows his brow in suspicion, "Who wants to know?"

"I do." Dean states, "The other day when we he found Balthazar flirting with me, he locked me in his room for a bit so he could make sure that perv couldn't speak to me- which I'm glad for, he's nuts… Anyways… While I was in there, I… I found something."

Sammy leans over the edge of his bed alongside Gabriel, and they look interested in what Dean has to say.

"There was a letter on Cas' desk. It was kinda old… like- at least over six years. It was handwritten in pen." Dean recalls the feel of the paper against his skin, "It talked about how he changed or somethin'... They mentioned Cas becoming possessive and stuff, and that they planned on leaving him, but… the bottom half the letter was gone. It was ripped away. I don't… I want to know who wrote it."

"Dean-" Sam begins to scold him for snooping, but Gabe shushes him with a finger.

"Her name was Amelia."

Dean's face contorts for a moment, trying to find a single emotion to express- "Wait… Cas used to have a girlfriend back home?"

"He did. Look, Dean… This is a very sensitive thing for my brother. He got his heart broken by that girl, and it wasn't his fault… Not really…"

"What do you mean, not really? …"

Gabe shakes his head, "Dean, I want to give you answers- I do… But this is something you and Cassie have to talk about… If he's even willing…"

Dean groans, "Then why should I try-"

"Because it may be what's holding him back." Gabe says seriously, and the air hangs heavily between them, "What happened between Castiel and Amelia broke him, and I don't know how he managed to piece himself back together. Understand that my brother took this seriously- and _still_ does. If you really want to know why he doesn't want to speak to you, or take on a mate- ask him about Amelia. You'll find out… maybe."

With that, Dean decides he has to go talk with a person named Castiel. He looks up at the clock, and realizes he doesn't have much time left.

Better late than never.

**...**

Dean knocks on Cas' door, his knuckles white from how hard he's turning his hand into a fist.

"Cas…" Dean says quietly, "Let me in."

"Dean? …"

Dean sighs, the evening light covering the hallway turns darker by the second, "Yeah, it's me. Come on, I need to talk to you."

The door slightly pulls back, and blue irises stare at Dean- Dean flinches under the gaze- "What is it? …"

Dean slinks past Cas and into his room, eyeing the place slightly before sighing, "I, uh… Look, Cas… I don't have a lot of time- and I think you're aware of that- so let's skip the petty bullshit and get straight to business."

"Dean-"

"No… not now… not when we both know I may not have the time." Dean bites his bottom lip for a second, and then sighs, "Cas… I'm just coming out and saying it. Who is Amelia?"

Cas pales.

"Look, I understand if you don't wanna talk about it, but-"

Cas growls lowly, and all of the sudden, Dean is pinned up the the nearest wall- "You're _not_ allowed to come into my life in such a way, Dean…"

"Really?" Dean chokes out, their faces merely inches apart- Cas' breath hits his face- "Last time I checked, I told you about the things that happened to me… I told you about Alistair-"

Cas pulls back then, a low, feral noise vibrating in his chest. A part of Dean wants to curl up and make sure he doesn't anger Cas any more than he already is.

"_Don't_ speak of him." the alpha hisses lowly, fists twitching at his sides, "His name is never to be spoken here."

Dean averts his gaze, his body still pressed against the wall as though he were pinned, "Look… I didn't have to tell you what happened, but I_ did._ I opened up to you and told you some of the darkest things that have ever happened to me. You could at least tell me who-"

"_No._" Cas asserts, and Dean quiets, "You're _not_ entitled to that-"

Dean growls despite himself, and it surprises both of them, but Dean whirs the emotion away to get on with speaking, "Look, Cas- just answer me. I may not live through tonight…"

The words cause some of the tension to leak out of Cas' muscles, "Why do you want to know? …"

"If there's one thing you could do for me, it's this…" Dean murmurs, "I wanna know why you think you're never good enough."

There's a pause full of nothing but silence.

"It was my wolf."

Dean nearly jumps in surprise from Cas' soft spoken words, "Y-Your wolf?"

"Yes." Cas sighs, sitting down on the bed, "It was after Gabriel and I left the camping grounds that… that things within me began to change…"

Dean swallows, wondering where this might lead him on his quest for answers.

"Amelia was my fiance at the time… We'd been together since high school… She- she realised that something was different about me, but never really voiced her concerns. God- so many things were left unsaid…"

"Cas? …" Dean thinks about going to the alpha before Cas shakes his head.

"I'm fine." Cas sighs and continues on with his story, "Amelia and I began to act differently around each other- mostly with it centering around me… I… I became very possessive over her out of nowhere. Just the thought of someone touching her- of even looking at her-" Cas balls his hands up angrily- "it still angers me on some levels. But… Amelia became fearful for her safety. Thankfully, she left me before the full moon, so she escaped unharmed…"

Dean ignores some of the words Cas used- such as escaped- and goes for his main question, "But if you didn't hurt her, why are you so upset?"

The alpha sighs in defeat, "Because, Dean… My wolf was out of control. When I first shifted, it was a disaster… I followed her scent, tried tracking her- I became a _monster,_ Dean…"

"No, you didn't…" Dean somehow ends up near Cas without really thinking about it, however, there are worse situations at hand than physical placement, "I understand the urges, okay? Even if I may not survive the night-" Cas visibly winces- "I've been around enough people to know what it's like for them to live with a wolf in their head… It's shit sometimes, yeah, but you move past it."

"I've_ tried,_ Dean."

Dean shakes his head, sitting down on the bed beside the alpha, "Then that's all that matters. Trying is better than doin' nothin' at all…"

"I suppose you're-"

Cas' words are cut off by a sharp pain in Dean's abdomen, and suddenly, Dean is on the ground- screaming.

"Dean!"

Dean's nails dig into the wood of Cas' floor- the world feels like it's on fire- and Dean cries out at the pain. His muscles rip themselves apart, only to string and stitch the fibers together in different patterns and shapes. His bones break and shift in different directions, the splinters settling themselves in new positions. Dean's screams go hoarse, turning into noises that are not recognizable as human.

"Dean!" Cas screams once more, concern evident.

Dean's hands scramble across the floor as he feels his body reshape itself. The pain is too much for Dean to handle, and he blacks out.

**...**

Castiel watches as Dean shifts into his wolf form.

It's a horrific thing when it's someone's first time- the pain is overbearing, and all of the sensations are just too much. Castiel remembers his all too well…

"Dean? …" he cautiously asks, finally seeing that Dean's body has stilled.

A light brown wolf lays on the ground, its breathing shallow. Its body is lithe, lean in places where Castiel has muscle. In fact, Castiel believes that Dean's wolf is slightly smaller than his own. Castiel ignores this, however, and shuffles closer, shifting himself to get a better grip on Dean's condition.

"_D-Dean?"_ he stutters.

Dean remains still.

**...**

Too much sound.

Too many sensations.

"_D-Dean?_ …"

Dean waits a few moments, wondering if he's dead. Instead, he looks up, finding Castiel looking at him in his wolf form. Immediately, scents began filtering into Dean's nose. His paws scramble for purchase on the ground as he whines, and immediately Dean is standing on four shaky legs.

"_C-Cas? …_" Dean is nervous, his fear evident, "_Am I… Am I dead or something?_ …"

Cas comes up to Dean, sniffing his fur, his cold nose seeping in between the strands, "_You seem to be alright…_"

Dean's body shivers, and suddenly he's on his back underneath Cas' muzzle. A low whine escapes him, and Cas' pupils dilate from the sound.

A few seconds of tense silence passes.

"_Dean…_"

Dean jumps up, nearly yelping, "_S-Sorry…_"

"_It's fine... You don't-"_ Cas looks flustered, even in wolf form, "_you don't know what you're doing yet…_"

"_Yeah, um…_" Dean paws at the ground, "_I think I need a moment… outside… for some air…_"

Cas lets Dean trot past him, and as soon as Dean is out of the room- he's sprinting outside.

There's this burning underneath his skin- or… or _fur?_

Either way, Dean doesn't know what it is, just that it's a foreign sensation- and all of these new urges and thoughts forge themselves in Dean's mind. The wolf nearly trips over its paws a few times, but Dean manages to step in and help balance his new form out before he falls over. Dean continues to sprint as fast as he can manage- trying to get away. However, it's short lived, because Dean's legs stop carrying forward as some invisible barrier presents itself.

"_The borders…_" Dean huffs to himself.

The moon hangs heavy over the clearing now. There is no sweet sound of summer, just the sound of vacant wind and Dean's exhausted breaths. Fear pricks some of Dean's conscious, and a whine escapes his throat before he can stop it. In a daze of adrenaline and fear of the unknown, Dean's wolf carries him to an unexplored section of the woods. Barely any twigs snap under his weight, and he moves throughout the trees silently- like some ghost.

A scent catches his nose, and immediately, Dean is crouched defensively onto the ground. His wolf- something so completely new to him- begins to go into a mode Dean is curious of. His paws carry him to a small burrow, one in which a rabbit peaks its head out of. Dean's wolf immediately stills, watching the rabbit move intently.

However, the wind around Dean picks up- sending his scent flying into the air. The rabbit leans up and smells him, and before Dean's wolf can pounce on it, the rabbit rushes back into its burrow. Dean lets out a frustrated growl, his wolf angered over losing its prey when suddenly something catches his attention. Whether it be the creaking noises from rotten boards or the soft chatter of a family of mice, it doesn't matter. In the end, Dean finds a familiar shack come into his view easily nonetheless. Dean's heart sinks down in his chest, his body lowering itself slightly from fear as he pads forward a few times.

_Not safe. Dangerous. We should stay away.  
_A new voice says in Dean's head, and Dean figures that it's his wolf- especially when his paws lock up from where they are placed onto the ground.

Images of the cabin when it was new appear in Dean's mind. He sees the place as it was when he first saw it- he remembers the sound of chains and his pained crying. Alistair's voice vaguely rings around his skull: "_You'll never get away from me, Dean._"

Dean flinches, but he does not run.

'_Give me this one thing, please…_' he whispers to his wolf, trying to console it in some way, '_I need to see it…_'

Dean finds himself shifting, and it's not as painful as before. As his senses slightly dull to the likes of his human form, Dean finds that the area around him is nearly pitch black. The only lighting being offered to him is from the full moon as it hangs solemnly in the sky. Dean carefully moves forward, his bare soles gingerly meeting the forest floor as he moves on towards the sagging structure. Moss hangs heavily from the sagging rafters, part of the roof already having caved in from fatigue. Dean walks into the doorway, his fingers lingering on the frame, brushing against the splintered wood as he passes it. When Dean draws his hand away, his fingertips are lit enough for Dean to see that there is soot on his skin.

"It burned…" Dean rubs his fingertips together, watching as the ash smears against the ridges in his fingerprint.

Dean continues looking through the cabin with an extreme awareness to the creak of the boards. Plants grew in the gaps between the wooden logs, and wild vines clambered up the damaged river rock of the fireplace's skeleton. Dean looks around the remains of the cabin thoroughly before his eyes land on some journal lying on the ground. When Dean approaches it, he can tell in the dim lighting that the edges of its cover are burned and bent from damage and wear. Dean picks it up, blowing ash and dust away from the false leather to find the name_ 'Alistair'_ embedded into the surface with golden letters.

"Shit…" Dean whispers, opening the book to its first page.

"_Azazel once spoke about telling someone's dynamic before they changed.  
I used to think it was kind of stupid, and I shrugged what he said off…  
It wasn't until Dean came along that I realized I should have listened._"

Dean shudders at the words, but forces himself to keep reading.

"_Dean has been here for a few months. I asked Azazel to tell me what he thought Dean would be if I turned him.  
He just gave me a smile and told me to figure it out myself.  
Bastard._"

The next couple of pages are blank, and some of them waterlogged and burnt. Thankfully, the page that Dean wants to read is unharmed.

"_It's been months, but I still have nothing.  
I've probably done everything I could possibly do to figure out Dean, but it hasn't worked.  
Seems like my plan for lock picking my way into Azazel's library will come in handy._"

Dean's interest peaks. _A library?  
_Out of all the years from living in that hellhole, Dean should have known about its existence… Maybe not, then.

"_I found several things I needed.  
There's a few published books that seemed helpful, but the crown jewel has to be Azazel's personal notebook.  
I trust his discoveries more than those from 'educated' professors. It's handwritten things- things that are keys to unlocking the mystery that's Dean Winchester and his dynamic.  
However, it seems that my luck ran out while I was snooping around.  
Azazel is smarter than to just let that shit stay out in the open. He has it stashed away somewhere else- somewhere safe. Somewhere that only he knows about.  
If I'm truly going to figure anything out, it's with that journal.  
I have to find it._"

Dean flips through a few more pages, finding layouts drawn in pen. The titles above inform Dean of what the images are depicting, and Dean realizes that Alistair drew maps of Azazel's hidden rooms. Dean furrows his brow. Maybe this journal was something he needed as well, because answers would be nice as to what he could be, or being able to predict what someone's wolf is before they get one would be a major step forward for werewolves in general.

"_I've searched everywhere, it's no use.  
Azazel doesn't know what I'm trying to do, at least, so there are some small miracles. I'm surprised he hasn't caught on yet, honestly. He could be faking ignorance, but I'd rather have the latter just in case.  
Either way, Dean is still something I can't figure out. The textbooks that I stole from Azazel's library weren't too informative. Like I had guessed, they were shots in the dark- only theories and hypotheses. Scientists are so damn useless nowadays.  
If you wanted to print a book, fill it with useful information- not pointless drawl._

_-Azazel mentioned on letting Dean become my mate.  
Not sure if he is being serious or not… I'm hoping he is._"

Dean's head snaps up, his instincts rearing their heads as he hears the sounds of someone nearing the cabin's remains. Dean panics silently, looking all over for anything- for any way to escape in case he needs it. Instead, he finds a bag, one that can stay on him once he shifts- and he silently thanks whoever is listening for this small miracle. Dean hurriedly places Alistair's damaged journal into the musty bag, and straps it onto his waist. His wolf surges forward, causing Dean to shift silently and efficiently as he listens to the approaching footsteps carefully.

His nose picks up several scents- one that smells familiar, and two others that are close in relation. Dean knows that if he memorized scents a little earlier before he left, that maybe he would have a fighting chance. However, he's an idiot who jumps the gun and bolts at the first chance he gets. He'd go back, but… this calls for his attention.

Dean hunches down to the ground, hoping that he won't be noticed.

"_Are you sure he'll even be here, Cassie?"_ Gabe sounds, and Dean's ears prick to attention, "_He could be anywhere in the woods at this point-"_

"_Gabriel, stop. The scent trail is the freshest around here. If we're going to find Dean, then he'll be somewhere around this section of the woods._"

Dean huddles underneath the charred remains of the cabin and its innards, hoping that his scent will not be noticed or he would not be found.

There's a sigh from someone, "_Castiel, I can't smell anything really fresh here…_"

"_Maybe that's because I'm the only one who has even scented Dean while in wolf form. Just- let's keep looking for a few more minutes, and then we'll look elsewhere, alright?"_

"_Fine._" both Sammy and Gabe mutter.

Dean doesn't dare try to even breathe as he curls up against his form tightly. His wolf urges him to go out and talk to Cas, to tell the alpha that he's okay and to calm his nerves- but Dean can't. He knows- the human portion of him, at least- that as soon as Dean comes back to the Novak pack, Cas will not let him out of his sight. He'll especially not let Dean out of the borders if he learns about Dean's desire to snoop around Azazel and Alistair's territories.

So, Dean has an ultimatum, he can either listen to his wolf- _or-_ he can go find Azazel's notebook somewhere in that hellhole and get answers to some of the questions that he needs to have laid to rest.

It seems that the trio breaks apart slightly to look for Dean, and the scents strengthen as they move around to search for the new werewolf. Dean stays quiet and still, hoping that he will not be discovered before he has a chance to find out what he needs to know.

The air around Dean saddens slightly, and the scent he has recognized to be Cas- musky, like pine and leather- swarms around him. Dean subconsciously scents the air as he hears Cas sniff around the ruin of the old cabin. Cas' scent causes Dean's wolf to become uneasy, sending Dean the signals of: fear, worry, anxiety.

Dean has to hold back a sympathetic whimper as Cas nears the wreckage of the cabin's skeleton, his black coat slightly glinting in the moonlight. His irises have become almost a neon blue with the darkened setting, and his gaze sweeps around the room until they land on Dean.

Dean freezes, and his fear causes his mind to shut down basic thought to only chant the words: 'not here- not here- not here' over and over like a record. The alpha nears Dean, his nose twitching as he begins sniffing around the area. Dean's wolf screams in his head that he should submit and allow Cas to find him- but Dean can't- he'll run if he has to.

Cas' muzzle stops only centimeters, from Dean's nose, and Dean's fur stands on end as Cas' eyes dart minutely. However, Cas doesn't seem to see Dean.

The alpha lets out a whine of defeat, and begins the scratch the cracked wood floor a few inches in front of Dean in desperation. Dean's wolf begs for Dean to show himself, but Dean doesn't listen. Instead, he hopes in his head that Cas will know that he's safe and okay- that there's no need to worry- and he tries with all of his might to wish that Cas knew that everything was alright.

The alpha stops scratching, and then tilts his head. He makes an inquisitive noise, and softly yips.

"_Dean?"_

Dean would huff a breath of relief if he could, but instead, he just silently reassures Cas through his scent.

The alpha's pupils widen with surprise, and the wolf tilts his head in confusion. He stares at the space that Dean occupies with pure fascination before shaking his head. Cas begins to leave the room when he glances back just once. His paws linger on moving forward, but with a final, nearly-silent whine, Cas leaves.

Dean stares out into the ruined room before him in shock.

Yeah- answers would be nice right now.

**...**

Castiel pads up to his brother and Sam with a heavy pang of worry in his heart.

"_Did you find anything?"_ Sam asks, still concerned over his older brother, "_Gabe and I couldn't find a damn thing._"

Cas wants to mention the weird event inside the ruins of the cabin- that somehow Dean had told him in his thoughts that he wasn't in immediate danger, and even though Castiel could find no physical trace of him there, his scent had appeared and reassured the alpha that he was okay.

"_Nothing._" he lies instead, "_I found nothing._"

"_Well, we'll keep looking._" Gabe trots ahead of the alphas, his nose stuck to the ground, "_Dean can only get so far, right?_"

Castiel glances at Sam in defeat, and both alphas feel just as hopeless as the other

**...**

Dean waits until they're gone to sprint away. The bag clings to his form easily as his paws thump against the forest floor, and soon, Dean finds himself coming upon the Novak's border again. Despite his interest in what is located in Alistair's old territory, Dean's wolf begs for him not to cross the border.

_Alpha will be upset. Can't upset alpha. Alpha is scary when angry.  
_It supplies wearily, whining in fear inside of Dean's skull.

Dean tells it to calm down, that Cas wouldn't hurt them because of this, and he crosses over.

Dean knows a little about pack politics, especially when the leader of one dies. A few things can happen. First, is that another alpha will take over the pack- just like Dean had with his- and things will remain normal. Second, is that the area will become a neutral zone for any wolf to crossover- this only happens when no one steps up to lead the pack. Knowing Alistair, he would have gotten weak-willed followers to join him, that way he would remain in charge and not be questioned by his pack members over authority. With this knowledge, Dean figures that Alistair's territory has now become abandoned, and all of his past followers have moved on to either become loners, or members of other nearby territories. This means that Dean can explore the old pack house and its secrets- especially for the ones he needs to solve.

Dean's nose guides him through the land, telling him he's arrived at his destination when a large, dark house looms in the distance. Dean stops his running, turning it into a trot that takes him up to the front door. Dean shifts easily, pulling back the slab of wood so he can enter the house easily. The place is dark, and it seems as though it was ransacked before everyone ran off. Dean doesn't blame them, he'd get as much as he could before he went on his own, too.

Using Alistair's drawn maps and his heightened senses to make his way through the pitch black hallways, Dean begins to explore the place without stopping. It isn't until he comes upon a room that reeks of what- even as a human- he identified as Alistair's sour scent that his feet still. It's a little bit stale now, but it's there nonetheless, enough so that Dean can put Alistair's old notebook away to follow the trail the bastard left behind.

Dean ends up finding a door that is slightly askew, and he walks into it. The room is slightly lit by moonlight coming through little window slots, and Dean begins to use the natural glow to try and find what he can. After a few minutes of nothing, Dean decides that it's best to give up. However, a scuffling in the corner causes Dean to look over to see some hole in the wall. As he nears it, his nose begins to pick up a scent his wolf knows by instinct.

_Pup._

A small tiny wolf sits in the small gap in between wooden beams and plaster, and it whimpers weakly as Dean nears it. Instantly, like some switch getting flipped in Dean's mind, he shifts. His wolf coons, and the small pup whimpers. Dean's muzzle reaches into the small space, and he begins to lick the fur softly as if this will fix everything for it. The pup gives a needy noise, and Dean grips onto its scruff lightly to take it out of the hole. Thankfully, it's the only pup in the space, and Dean huffs a breath of relief as the pup wails on the floor beside him.

"_Shush, it's okay, I'm here…_" Dean softly assures, beginning to lick the dust and cobwebs away from the pup's coat, "_You're safe now…_"

"_Hungry!"_ it cries, and its eyes are swollen shut.

Dean looks around the room quickly, finding nothing- "_I have no food-"_

"_Hungry!"_ it wails again, and its shrill voice makes Dean feel awful for not being able to sate such a simple desire.

A low noise comes his throat, one of disappointment and guilt, and it makes Dean begin looking around the room for answers when a small bundle of fur bumps into his leg.

"_Mama!"_ it sneezes on Dean's front left leg, and Dean stares at it before it begins to paw at him, "_Mama! Mama!"_

"_I'm not…_" Dean trails off, because how can he really deny this little thing the only thing that's calmed it down?

It crashes into Dean's leg, sneezing again, "_Up! Up!"_

Dean doesn't understand- he's never been good with pups- and lowers himself down to the floor, "_Up?"_

Immediately, the small thing goes to Dean's stomach and begins sniffing through the fur.

"_You're not gonna find anything…_" Dean grunts, setting his head on his paws.

He snorts as he watches the small thing begin to suckle on a bit of his fur coat, only to whine when it finds hair on its tongue rather than what it wants.

"_Told you._"

Dean, however, is just content to watch it try anyways. Well, until a growl rings inside of the room.

**...**

"_Cassie, are you sure this is something we need to do?"_ Gabriel asks.

All three wolves stand at the edge of the territory, forms stalled by the wall of scents before them.

"_Yes, Gabriel. This is where Dean's scent trails leads. I'm going to follow it._"

The omega sighs, "_Alright, lead the way then…_"

Castiel does. He follows Dean's trail until it leads to Alistair's abandoned pack house.

"_This isn't good…_" Sam says wearily, his fur standing on end, "_Why would Dean come here?"_

"_I don't know-"_ Castiel pads forward, "_but we're about to find out._"

**...**

Dean's on his paws in seconds, the pup crying out as another wolf snarls at Dean.

"_Get away from her!"_ she growls, her teeth exposed threateningly.

"_I don't want to fight…_" Dean assures, "_I'm not going to harm your pup-"_

The wolf snarls, "_I don't care! Get. Out._"

Dean pulls his lip up as a small warning, "_Grab your pup and leave. If you need a place to stay, go to the Novak pack house-"_

"_I live here!"_ she barks, "_I'm not leaving because some asshole orders me to!"_

The pup whines at Dean, huddling against his paw, "_Mama!"_

The other wolf snarls, and leaps forward. Dean decides that kicking the pup out of the way is better than it getting tangled in the fight, and it yelps as it lands a few inches away in enough time to not be slammed by the wolf's body.

Teeth snap at Dean's neck, trying to puncture the flesh as Dean pushes against the wolf on top of him. His teeth thankfully find purchase on the wolf's scruff, and Dean is about throw her on the ground when a familiar scent reaches his nose.

_Cas._

**...**

Castiel rushes forward at the sound of the fight, his wolf roaring in his mind as he smells Dean's scent hanging heavily in the air. Sam and Gabriel are right behind him, their paws thudding heavily on the floor as they all come to find a scene before them.

Dean is holding a she-wolf down by her scruff, growling into her neck as she whines underneath him in pain. Castiel's eyes, however, dart to a small pup that's wailing on the floor.

"_Mama! Mama!"_ it cries, and Castiel's paternal instincts begin to rise to the forefront of his mind.

Gabriel and Sam watch in shock as Dean lets go of the she-wolf, nearing the pup and sniffing it for any blood or injuries. The unknown female watches the interaction closely, still splayed on the ground from where Dean had her, and her eyes widen as she begins to see Dean licking at the pup- hers, Castiel is guessing- affectionately.

"_Dean?"_ Sam asks, and the eldest Winchester looks up from the pup at the end of his muzzle.

"_Oh… hey guys…_" he states, and he grabs the pup by its scruff and brings it over to the she-wolf, setting it gently in front of her; she licks at it gratefully and whines in happiness as it begins to search through her fur- "_I know this is really confusing right now, but I swear that I came here for a reason._"

"_And that would be?"_ Sam takes a step forward, his fur bristled, "_Dean, you came to Alistair's pack house- something I never expected you to do- and for what, exactly?"_

Dean averts his eyes slightly, glancing back over his shoulder to the she-wolf and her pup, "_Answers._"

"_Dean, that's not good enough-"_

There's a growl from Dean, and his fur rises on his form, making him threatening. His lip pulls over his teeth, green eyes narrowed on his baby brother. Sam takes a step back; whether it be from shock or fear, Castiel doesn't know.

"_It is good enough, Sam._" Dean deflates a bit, calming himself with a huff of breath.

Sam doesn't step forward, and he sounds off when he speaks, "_You're… different._"

"_I am a werewolf now, so…_" Dean shuffles some of the dirt on the floor with his paw, "_But there's something here that I need to find. It could explain why I'm so…_" he pauses, "_different._"

Castiel takes a step forward, "_If you need to find something here, I suggest you hurry and discover what you are looking for. This pack house is in a neutral zone, therefore, it isn't safe to be here. Sam, help your brother search for what he needs. Gabriel and I will talk to this she-wolf about her and her pup._"

Dean joins up with Sam, and Gabriel walks with his older brother to the she-wolf and her pup. She growls at them at first, but a bark from Dean makes her calm herself from anything hostile. Her pup wriggles around, but it's too busy eating to care much about Gabriel and Castiel's presence.

"_What is your name?"_ Castiel watches as the she-wolf lifts her head, and going by the look on her fur and the prominence of her ribs, she isn't eating enough here.

"_Why should I tell you?"_ she counters.

Castiel sits down, keeping his wolf from asserting itself like it wants to, and he proceeds to speak calmly, "_This place isn't safe for you or your pup. I can tell you're not getting enough food, and that you're struggling to make ends meet. If you're wise, which I hope you are, you'd drop the stubborn attitude you have and talk._"

She sighs in defeat, knowing that Castiel is right whether she likes it or not, "_Meg._"

"_Excuse me?"_

"_Meg…_" she repeats, "_I-I'm Meg._"

**...**

Dean pads alongside his brother. They haven't spoken much, and the only sounds shared between them have been the soft clicks of their claws against the wood floors, and the soft panting of their breaths.

However, it looks as though Sammy has something to say, "_So, Dean… How are you feeling?"_

"_Good, I guess._" Dean sighs, "_Sammy, if there's something you need to say, just get it off your chest._"

They both stop walking, and Sammy turns to face his brother, "_What's going on with you, Dean? I mean- I understand that you just got your wolf form, but… I can't read you, I can't tell what you are. You're giving off the tendencies of alpha and omega, and I just- I can't figure it out…_"

"_I don't know what's up with me either, but-"_ Dean sets himself down on his paws, "_the reason I came here is that Azazel had some notebook. He apparently wrote all of these notes down in there- like how to predict someone's dynamic before they presented, or rare things someone's wolf could have._"

"_And how do you even know about this?"_

Dean takes a paw and points to the small bag he has strapped to him, "_I found this in the cabin Alistair kept me in-"_

"_Dean…_" Sam softly interrupts, "_You found that place?"_

Dean sighs, "_Yes, I did- but that's not important right now. This, however, is._" Dean watches as Sammy waits for him to continue, "_Anyways, I found an old journal Alistair used to write in. It mentioned Azazel's notebook, and Alistair wanted to find it badly._"

"_Did he find it?"_

"_I don't know._" Dean admits, "_I didn't read that far, but I doubt if there's anything else inside of it anyway. I just took it with me because it had maps of the place in it._"

Sammy begins to pace slightly, something he always does when that big head of his is working, "_Alistair said that he knew what you were, Dean._"

Dean's fur stands up a bit, "_When?"_

"_That day, when he kidnapped you._" Sammy's mood sours a bit, "_You were already bitten and knocked out cold when he said it, but… He told us he knew._"

"_Then he must have found it, then._"

Sammy shakes his head, "_We don't know for sure, Dean. He could have been bluffing._"

Dean stands and pads forward, "_Only one way to find out, then._"


	6. But With the Beast Inside

****Author's Note: _**

**Sorry this took so long!**  
**It took a while for me to figure out how to describe what Dean was n' stuff.**  
**Anyways, a lot happens in this chapter...**

**Like what?**  
**Well... Dean goes into heat? But there's a twist? :O  
We find Azazel's journal and read it? :O  
**

**Also, I promise there's going to be more Meg in this story. As some of you know, I'm really excited to get her out there n' stuff, and her back story is kind of sad. It's hinted at in this chapter, but I'll delve into it more as the story progresses. :D  
(Sorry?)**

**(Response to Guest Reviews at the end.)**

**Enjoy!~**

* * *

"_Do you even know what we're looking for?"_ Sammy asks, sniffing through ransacked desks and emptied drawers in what seems like defeat, "_A guess would be nice…_"

"_No- I don't have some idea what it looks like, Sammy. Sorry. Alistair didn't know what it looked like, so there was no description available._"

Sammy pads over to his older brother, "_Actually, there might be. You said that you didn't finish reading all of his journal, right? Maybe there's something in there about it._"

Dean sighs, shifting into his human form, "Yeah, I guess you're right about that…"

The journal doesn't have much to offer, cutting off of a few pages from where Dean had been forced to stop. It's pointless dribble on Alistair's desire for Azazel's journal and the eldest Winchester, and Dean now labels the journal as useless. However, Sammy seems to be enthralled with trying to find answers, and he's always been one for books.

"How old do you think this is?" Sammy murmurs.

"Real old, Sammy. It mentions us showing up in Azazel's pack."

Sammy flips a page and apparently reads one of Alistair's obsessive entries about Dean, and he grimaces, "God, Dean- you read _all_ of this?"

"Every word."

"Dean, I-" another page flips over from the movements of Sam's hand, and his expression worsens in its severity, "_god,_ I never knew how fucking obsessed he was."

Dean walks over to a random bookcase, his back still facing his baby brother as he whispers, "I haven't been able to forget…"

Sammy is about to say something too emotional, something too close to home for Dean to try and ease some tension out of the conversation as Gabe enters the room. Dean turns to face the omega as he stalls, the words that he was going to say dying in his mouth.

"Oh- did I, uh, interrupt somethin'?"

Before Sammy can say anything, Dean blurts, "No, you didn't. How did things go with you guys and the lone female?"

Gabe sighs as some of the tension leaks out of his shoulders, "Cassie managed to get her to talk after a little bit of stubbornness. Her name's Meg; she's an omega."

"Meg?" Sammy and Dean ask in unison.

"You know her?" Gabe looks over to Sammy, eyes narrowed.

Sammy nods, seemingly oblivious to the glare that Gabe is currently giving him, "Yeah, she was in Azazel's pack when he took us."

"She was around our age at the time. Sammy sometimes played with her n' stuff when… when Azazel wasn't using him…"

Dean and Sammy both wince at the admission and the memories it brings to the surface.

However, the conversation is cut short whenever Cas comes into the room, Meg padding behind him as he shifts. Her pup is between her teeth, mewling and pawing at the air as Dean tries not to shift himself and make the pup comfortable.

"Meg has decided that she is to join our pack. Dean-" the alpha looks over at the eldest Winchester, his eyes illuminated by moonlight coming through the barren and broken windows, "find what you are looking for quickly. Anyone or any wolf can enter here, and I would prefer to not have an altercation- especially with Meg and her pup involved."

"_Wow,_ Cas." Dean has a tone to his voice that he didn't know he possessed as he slinks by the alpha in question, "Who knew you could be so protective? I mean, it's not like _we're_ here too."

"Dean." Cas asserts, but Dean just rolls his eyes and walks past the alpha as his arm tries to stall him, "_Dean-"_

The eldest Winchester continues on looking for the journal as Gabe slinks up to his side- the sound of Sam shifting into his wolf form evident as the two walk side by side.

"Sammy pissin' you off?" Dean asks.

"Yep." Gabe glances over to Dean, the anger towards Sammy evident to the other Winchester, "Cassie doin' the same thing for you?"

"You have _no_ idea…" Dean growls, "Just- seriously. He's fuckin' thick headed…"

Gabe gives a snort in agreement, "You're tellin' me… God, just- Sam can be so blind sometimes! He was literally _sniffing_ some betas tail yesterday!"

Dean is about to complain on about Cas when Gabe's pheromones- angry, his mind tells him- fill his nose, "Gabe, are you_ jealous?"_

"J-Jealous?" Gabe echoes, putting a hand to chest as though the word offended him, "_No!_ I was mad at him because that poor girl had to have his damn snout up her ass!"

Dean shrugs, "Yeah, suppose that's not the best of sensations to have…"

"So," Gabe dismisses the current topic of 'alphas suck balls' as they enter a room, "what are you lookin' for?"

Dean begins snooping around the room as he speaks, "A journal. Azazel kept one around here somewhere and I need to find it."

"What's so important about this journal, Dean? Can't you just… live without it?"

Dean stops his fingertips on the spine of an aged book, exhaling before turning towards the inquisitive omega, "This journal can give us _answers,_ Gabe. Azazel was… a pioneer in figuring out things with wolves. If he figured out how to change Sammy by turning himself into some type of dripping blood donor, then he could have discovered other things too. Besides, I don't… I don't think I'm normal."

"Of course not, you're no longer human-"

"Not that, Gabe." Dean bites his bottom lip for a second before speaking, "Earlier, you guys were looking for me. When you followed my scent you found the cabin that Alistair held me captive in."

Gabe makes an expression, obviously saving his questions for either Dean or Sammy later, and crosses his arms, "Yeah, we were at some shack or somethin', but it was burnt down not too long ago. Why?"

"I was there when you guys were."

"No you weren't." Gabe says skeptically, "We sniffed around for your ass six ways till Sunday. Everything we got was stale."

Dean sighs, "Gabe, I want to try somethin'... Promise me you won't freak out, 'kay?"

Gabe nods, but looks hesitant to believe Dean.

Dean readies himself then, "Alright, we're gonna shift into wolf form, and I want you to scent me, okay?"

Gabe shrugs, shifting easily as Dean follows suit. The omega comes over to Dean, sniffing curiously around his neck and behind his ears. The wet nose presses against Dean's neck- against his pulse- and pulls back.

"_Got cha._" Gabe barks.

Dean takes a few steps back, taking a deep breath before he speaks, "_Now, I don't know if it'll work or not, but… When Cas explored the cabin, I was inside of it._"

"_He would have found you if you were, Dean._" the omega huffs in disbelief.

"_I thought he was going to, but… I don't know. I panicked and something happened and I was-"_ Dean pauses, "_invisible._"

Gabe sits on his paws, tilting his head in disbelief as he yips, "_Are you sure that you __didn't eat any mushrooms in that forest or somethin'?"_

"_Just here me out before you call me loony._"

"_Alright, alright…_" Gabe holds up a paw- a canine equivalent to holding up both hands innocently.

Dean concentrates, chanting 'not here, not here, not here' like he had with Cas, and instantly Gabe jumps to his feet.

"_Dean!"_ the omega takes a few steps back in fear and surprise, "_Dean!?"_

Cas and Sammy burst into the room, staring at Gabe as the shift hastily.

"_Where's Dean-"_ Cas orders as Sammy blurts, "_Did someone take Dean!?"_

Dean barks, stopping the chant almost instantly as all of the wolves turn to eye him widely.

"_Huh,_" an unfamiliar voice reaches Dean's ears, the small pup from before comes running up to his leg as there's a snort, "_looks like someone can do a little magic._" as Dean looks over to Meg, she grins wolfishly, "_Never thought I'd see you again, Dean Winchester. Especially as a wolf._"

**...**

"_A hybrid._" Meg repeats, Dean licking the pup gently as the trio of confused wolves ask about how Meg is strangely calm with Dean's 'magic'.

"_But-"_ Sammy blurts, "_how can he just… disappear!?"_

"_Calm down, Sammy-boy, he ain't goin' anywhere. It's just magic._"

Gabe takes a step forward, his annoyance slightly evident, "_Dean said he turns invisible, so I don't know how that's some trick…_"

"_It's not a trick._" Meg states, sitting calmly on her paws, "_Like I said, magic. Magicians don't use that, all they're doing are just illusions._"

"_Meg, explain._" Cas is sitting as well, occasionally glancing at Dean interacting with Meg's pup, "_Enough dancing around it, just tell us. Please._"

Meg sighs and settles herself before speaking, "_Fine… Look, Dean-o here isn't leavin' and he isn't invisible. He's able to make you believe he's not there when he is. An illusion._"

Sammy huffs, "_But that doesn't explain _how_ Meg-"_

Dean plays lightly with the pup, flipping over slightly and nipping at it as Meg speaks- Cas watches the interaction curiously- "_He hides his pheromones, and he can snake his way into your heads and affect what he wants to. That's how he's a hybrid._"

"_How do you know this?"_ Cas asks, but his eyes never leave Dean and the pup.

"_I figured it out whenever you guys found him with me…_" her snark dies slightly at the memory of Dean asserting himself, "_I was ready to get Dean away from my kid when he got into my head. He calmed me down, but… it freaked me out- 'cause I could hear him in my thoughts._"

"_Dean's telepathic?"_ Sammy asks in slight disblief, glancing over to his brother who is now letting the pup jump all over him as he lays there lazily.

"_In some sense, yes._" Meg sighs as she looks over to Dean and her child, "_However, most of it is done by touch. He can make himself seem invisible because it's a defense mechanism._"

Cas pads over to Dean then, curious as to why Dean is so laid back when all of this is happening, "_Dean?"_

"_Yeah, Cas?"_ Dean yawns, it ending abruptly as the pup slides onto his muzzle and wags its rapidly tail over his nose.

"_I believe we need to find Azazel's journal._"

Dean would answer, but considering his face is full of an entertained pup, he's a lil' busy. Cas tilts his head curiously, moving the pup over to speak to Dean.

"_Dean, do you have any idea where this journal can be?"_

Dean shakes his head when Meg does the wolf version of a clearing throat.

"_I think I might be able to help with that._"

Dean yips as the pup runs into a bookshelf, and Dean jumps to his feet, jogging past Cas in seconds, "_Really? You've seen it?"_

"_Being Alistair's 'bitch' does seem to have it's perks._" she comments, and Dean makes a sympathetic noise in his throat, "_Yeah, I know, Dean-o. You were always his favorite toy, though._"

Cas growls at Meg.

"_Just statin' the facts, 'alpha'._" Meg hisses the last word as she motions for Dean.

Dean follows Meg into the room from before, the she-wolf- omega, as Gabe informed him- grabs some journal from where the pup was.

"_I found this on the floor in Alistair's room soon after he died. Sorry about the edge though, my daughter's teething._"

"_S'fine._" Dean takes the journal and shifts, putting it into his bag and changing back into his wolf form, "_As long as I can read it, I'm not worried._"

"_Azazel's handwriting isn't too rough._"

Dean tilts his head, "_You've read it?"_

Meg nods simply, "_That's how I knew what you were. Alistair used to have it with him whenever he… visited._"

"_He was always curious as to what he could do._"

Meg nods, but the two say nothing more on the subject.

Dean pads back out into hallway, Meg on his tail as he sees the other wolves come into view, "_We have what we need now. We can leave._"

Cas nods, "_The sooner we can get back to the pack house, the better._"

"_Yeah-"_ Gabe sneezes, "_dust is hurtin' my nose…_"

Sammy flanks the omega as Dean helps Meg pick up her pup. He stays behind the others and walks with her as they trek back to the Novak's land. Her pup is quiet, minus some shuffling in the grip of Meg's jaws. Dean feels pity for Meg- even if it's just one pup she has to take care of when there could be more. He remembers that people who were werewolves since birth- such as Meg- commonly have more than just one kid in a single batch. That means that there was more than what was loosely hanging in her jaws as she paced silently beside him. Dean's heart clenches at the thought.

However, he'll let Meg tell him what has happened to her since everything went down in Alistair's pack so long ago. If she even wants to.

"_Dean?"_

The eldest Winchester's attention moves up from Meg to Cas, the alpha turning to look at him as he huffs, "_A moment, please._"

"_Sure._"

Dean pads up, joining Cas at his side as the alpha takes them a few feet away from their little group. His blue eyes are illuminated by moonlight, and his fur ruffled by a gentle breeze as he turns to look at Dean.

"_I need you to read that journal and tell me what you find._"

Dean would raise a brow if he were in human form, but instead he snorts lightly, "_Find things on what, exactly?"_

"_Rogue wolves._"

"_Why?"_ Dean's concern peaks slightly, the emotion starting to weave its way into his words as he speaks, "_Is there a reason you need to know things about it?"_

**...**

Castiel watches as Dean stiffens before him. His jade eyes are worried as they scan over Castiel's form, searching for any sign of injury or something to focus his worry onto. His scent tells Castiel that he's slightly anxious over what he has to say next.

Castiel wishes that it could be simple enough to tell Dean why he needs him to start looking this up. He wishes that it was easy to just admit that his wolf is becoming more and more of a problem than anything else, and it's bothering him now. But he can't- not when Dean can ask why and everything that's already fragile between them can break apart.

"_I just need you to look it up for me._" Castiel avoids bringing himself up in the situation, avoids telling Dean about how his wolf wants to taste and mark him- "_Pack business._"

Dean doesn't seem satisfied by the answer, and his eyes gaze on the alpha suspiciously as he mumbles, "_Okay… I'll look into it for you._"

Castiel nods, secretly thankful that Dean isn't asking anymore questions.

Lord knows that he doesn't have any good answers.

**...**

Dean knows something is up with Cas.

Yeah, sure- he's known this for a while now, but… Something is different- something has changed. Now that Dean has his wolf form, he can see more of what Gabe talks about when he's afraid of his brother losing it.

Dean can sense the feralness to Cas, he can see that extra glint in the alpha's eyes that isn't caused by the way light catches his irises. He knows that Cas' wolf isn't just sitting on the sidelines obediently. His wolf is trying to call the shots, is forming game plans, is trying to take down the opposing teams- whether or not Cas thinks they're "opposing" in the first place. His wolf has its own agenda, and it's obvious that it's trying to use it and is trying to turn against Cas to get what it wants.

However, its desires are unbeknownst to Dean.

So… Dean makes a plan.

That's what he's going to figure out.

**...**

"_Rogue: unprincipled._

_I would agree with such a term when it is applied to that of a man and his wolf. Sanity is a fine tether, whether we are aware of that or not.  
__Rogue wolves, as I have seen in many cases, are dangerous creatures. They are no longer the person they were before their wolf seized full control. More often than not, rogue wolves are detained and chained up like the animals they have become willingly or not.  
__I know nothing of cures or any prevention methods to this. I've tried before, fearing that Alistair may fall victim to part of himself. However, nothing I have ever done seems to have worked._

_Yet, I hear rumors. I hear them on the wind, on the lips of family members related to those I have tried to help. They speak of a certain type of wolf- a special one- able to pull werewolves from the brink of feral insanity. I tried asking where they have heard or found such a thing, but none offered anything useful. Figures.  
__I've decided to chase down this rumor in hopes to find truth. Who knows, maybe I can find some sort of other type or gene of werewolf to experiment with._"

Dean cringes as he flips the pages. Alistair's journal is nothing compared to Azazel's. Azazel numbered the pages, tabbed them, highlighted certain lines to bring attention to important information. His journal is more of a textbook, and it offers Dean mountains of information on things he never he knew about. From treatments for wounds to the arrangement of the teeth in a canine's skull, Azazel's journal is a detailed and informing piece that Dean is honestly surprised to find in his hands and not in some library or museum.

"God, Azazel. You were a smart bastard when you weren't… _experimenting…_" he whispers to himself, flipping onto a page that catches his eyes.

"_Hybrid"_

Dean's attention focuses onto the page intently, readying himself for what he is to find.

"_Hybrids are something I have rarely been able to account for. It's what the people were telling me about as I tried to stop their family member from becoming rogue. At first, I thought they were rumors. Nothing but figments made up by desperate minds who wanted answers when they had nothing lining their backs but doubts.  
__I was wrong; they were right._

_In my travels, I have only come across one werewolf that I have been able to label as such a thing. Her name was Mary Campbell._"

Dean's heart stops in his chest- "Mom…"

"_Mary could do things I never expected a werewolf to do. She could heal with a single touch, could change the directions of your emotions like the moon controlling the tides. I asked if she could come back to my pack, if I could see all that she was capable of- but she disappeared right before my eyes as she refused.  
__At first, I thought that she had teleported or something ridiculous- but I realized after a few moments that she was still there with me. Her scent had shifted, and it felt as though she was snaking through my mind to erase her presence._

_I'm labeling it as a defense mechanism. One that involves tricking the other wolves around them to think they are gone when they aren't.  
__Yet, as I confronted what seemed to be like empty air about it, she didn't answer, and the buzz in my skull seemed to get louder. I asked her again if she would accompany me, and when I received no answer, I found that more… drastic measures, were going to be taken for her compliance._

_John Winchester was just a man when they met, but after falling love, Mary changed him not soon after, or thought about doing so. Her diary wasn't too informative on it, but it was enough for me to figure out the puzzle and move its pieces accordingly.  
__All it took was a threat to John's well-being and Mary crumpled like a house of cards._"

Dean pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath, "So this is why John knew who Azazel was when he attacked all those nights ago…"

Even though it's hard on Dean's conscious, he forces himself to keep reading.

"_She promised me a week's worth of studying. It's not a lot, but it's better than nothing I suppose._

_- I have discovered that hybrids have a split… personality.  
__Mary seems to display traits of both alpha and omega quality, and it seems as though she gets the urges of both as well. However, when asked about it, she said John- her mate, apparently- caused her to shift more towards her submissive tendencies.  
__I believe that a hybrid is a mixture of both an alpha and an omega, and it is only until they meet their mate that one side is fully determined for the relationship. Yet, this change only applies to interactions with the mate in question, considering Mary is displaying both traits until I mention John to gauge her reaction._

_Interesting._"

"Fuck…" Dean breathes as he stomach revolts the idea of his mother being some experiment of Azazel's, "God this is too much-"

Dean rushes over towards a trashcan in his room, vomiting into it as his mind reels in a way similar to his stomach as it convulses. The room spins slightly in his vision as he exhales roughly, coughing and sputtering as he falls back against his wall. Sammy enters the room, face drawn up in concern.

"Dean?" as the alpha notices the way his brother is nearly hyperventilating, be begins to run over to his side in mere seconds, "Oh my god- Dean!?"

"S'fine…" Dean coughs again, "_M'fine…_"

"No you're not-" Sammy's hand nearly slaps itself onto Dean's forehead, "you're running a fever!"

Dean tries to wiggle away from Sammy's huge palm, "No touch… no touchy."

Sammy groans, "Dean, you're not a child."

Dean growls.

Sammy picks his older brother off of the floor, the eldest groaning in annoyance, "Dean, shut up. You're sick with somethin' and you can't be stubborn with me about it. I'm takin' you to see Gabe."

"Why Gabe?' Dean whines, angry at how his brother has him slung over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

"He's pretty good at taking care of people, and he might know what's wrong with you since you're newly changed."

"I wanna see Cas-"

"No Castiel, Dean."

Dean growls, wiggling on his brother's shoulder, "_Cas!"_

Sammy flails in the hallway, slapping a hand on his brother's face as he begins to scream the other alpha's name. The other werewolves watch in interest as Sammy tries to calm Dean down, some of them starting to circle around them as a nearby throat clears itself.

Dean looks up to see Gabe watching him and his baby brother in slight amusement and disappointment as he puts his hands on his hips.

"You know, for adults, I thought you two could behave."

"Shut up…" Dean groans, "Sammy, get off of me-"

The younger Winchester picks his brother up again, and Dean protests with flailing again, "No, Dean! Gabe is going to make sure you're okay!"

"But I want _Cas!"_

Suddenly, Gabe is in Dean's face, "Dean- what did you say?"

Dean freezes on his brother's shoulder, "I, uh- I said I want Cas…"

"Sam, we need to get him in my room _immediately._"

"Why-"

"I think you're brother is presenting and he's going into heat."

Dean hisses as a sharp pain hits him, a long, wanton "Cas" slipping through his lips.

Wolves around Dean growl as Sammy realizes what kind of situation they're in.

"Fuck!"

Dean grips onto the back of Sammy's shirt tightly as a hot, burning feeling rushes into his veins. Wolves that are in the pack run after them, causing Dean to whimper in fear as he sees that none of them are Cas.

"Sam- come on!"

"I'm trying!"

Dean wails on Sammy's shoulder as another wave hits him, an onslaught of "hurts", "burns", and "Cas" tumbles over Dean's lips, as he watches the world swim as his stomach cramps.

However, a loud snarl rises out of the mess of sounds, and Dean finds a large black wolf roaring at the other wolves as Sam turns around a corner- the scene leaving Dean's sight.

"_Cas…_" he weakly calls out, and the last thing he sees is his hand reaching out pitifully at air as his vision blackens.

**...**

Castiel snarls at his followers.

His mind is practically blank over everything other than "_mate, protect, mine_" as it runs through his head like a ritualistic chant.

The other wolves, the ones trying to steal _his_ Dean away, stall almost instantly. They all whine, lowering themselves in submission to Castiel as they whimper apologetically for chasing after Dean when they should all know he is anything but theirs.

He is Castiel's- and Castiel won't stand for any members of his pack to be unaware of this fact.

He waits a few moments to assert his message, his angered and territorial growls causing the wolves to flinch as they hear them. His pheromones surge around them like of torrent, demanding that they stay away from Dean or they will face Castiel and all of his fury otherwise.

When Castiel is certain that the others know their place, he jogs through the hallway, using Dean's sweet scent as a guide. When Gabriel's door appears before him, Castiel whines and scratches at the wood to be let in. From behind the wood, Castiel can hear a familiar wolf panting as it whines back. Sam and Gabriel are talking about letting Castiel in or not as the alpha continues on scratching at the pesky wood before him.

"I don't know…" Gabriel mutters, "First heats are kind of a weird thing…"

"What do you mean?"

Gabriel sighs as Castiel begins growling at them to let him in- Dean whines in response, begging him to come in- "You… you just want someone _near…_ It's that way until you find your mate."

"But…" Sam sounds conflicted, "You never mentioned anything like that- I've never heard anything like that-"

"It's because most people_ don't care._ They just want to fuck and leave you, Sam."

Sam pauses, "Gabe-"

"We'll talk about this later," Dean whines highly, Castiel's ears perking to the noise, "right now we just need to let Dean and Cassie near each other. It could help Dean, Sam."

"What if it doesn't?"

Gabriel sighs, "We don't have many options, Sam… Open the door."

**...**

Dean pants in the corner, having shifted into his wolf form as his body went into something close to survival mode. All he can smell is Cas- all he wants is Cas- and he pushes himself in the corner as his body aches and his soul seems to break into little shards.

However, as the door opens, Dean figures out why.

As soon as he and Cas make eye contact, Dean feels something else weaving itself among the pieces. It's warm, reminding him of something he can label as 'safe' or 'home'. A low whine escapes him, pleading for Cas to come over and just lay against him as his body begins to do what Dean would describe as 'self-combust'.

Cas practically surges forward, trotting over to Dean as he whines in discomfort. Sammy and Gabe say something, but they leave and put the door slightly ajar as Cas nears Dean.

The alpha's nose touches Dean, and another noise works its way out of Dean's throat as Cas slightly growls. Dean feels Cas' tongue begin to lick his throat in a comforting way, and the new-omega pleads for him to just lay against him. The alpha listens, placing himself along the curve of Dean's back and licking behind the omega's ears.

"_Cas…_" Dean says tiredly, setting his head down on the alpha's paws as he begins to relax since this hell started.

"_I'm here, Dean._"

Dean hums, finding the burning in his veins subsiding as he exhales. He even closes his eyes and lets sleep take him.

**...**

Castiel has a happy rumble escaping his chest as Dean sleeps. The omega- Castiel's wolf is content with this discovery- lays limply against Castiel as he licks and comforts him.

Castiel's heart swells as he realizes that Dean wanted him during his first heat- that no other person or wolf was apparently supposed to be doing what he is right now.

The sound of Dean calling for him was enough to set Castiel's wolf into protection mode, it surging forward to dismiss the threat only until the alpha smelled the air. Now, that sweet scent is around him as Dean dozes off below, and Castiel can't help but thump his tail against the floor in pure happiness as he licks Dean's coat affectionately.

Castiel's wolf is content for the moment, happy that Dean is here and safe from the betas that had been chasing him only moments earlier. However, Castiel himself is just so happy to have someone so perfect, so _amazing,_ sleeping next to him. Dean, even as a human, managed to catch his eye.

However, the good moment is broken as Gabriel enters the room in wolf form with Sam beside him.

"_Cassie._" he greets shortly.

"_Gabriel._" the alpha replies, "_Sam. What is it?"_

Sam comes forward, his chest puffed out, "_You know what you're doing, right?"_

Castiel just stares.

"_Cassie, you're putting mate pheromones all over Dean._"

"_I can't control it._" Castiel says curtly, trying to defend himself, "_Besides, it will keep the betas from trying to jump or hurt him._"

Sam's anger deflates slightly, but not fully, "_Yeah, well… Dean may not want you as his mate. This is his first heat, so he isn't sure how this sort of thing goes._"

"_Are you saying that Dean doesn't want me?"_ the words hurt Castiel in ways he can't describe.

"_We don't know, Cassie._" Gabriel steps in, defending Sam partially, "_You're the only alpha he's really been around since he changed. He won't react to Sam 'cause he's family._"

Castiel's good mood immediately slinks away, "_So you're saying that Dean may not know what he wants because he hasn't seen all that he can have?"_

Sam stares at his brother as Gabriel nods, "_Sorry, Cassie. I'm not sayin' that he doesn't want you, just that you may not know if it's for sure or not… He did just present, Cassie._"

"_I am aware of that._"

Castiel doesn't say anything else. He just rests his head on Dean's side, knowing that the words he's been told are true. Dean has only just presented- he's only just become an omega officially. He probably isn't even aware of what's going on at the moment. For Castiel to go off and label him as his mate already is nothing short of the word unfair.

So Castiel tries to reign himself back.

**...**

Dean dreams of blue eyes and raven hair.

He blinks open his eyes to find Cas sleeping against him. His head is resting on Dean's side, and Dean's head is still resting on his paws. The newly-presented omega sighs in content, finding his body abuzz with a happy feeling. He hasn't been this comfortable in a while, and he's grateful. Especially so now that his weird, first heat has gone away- all thanks to an alpha named Castiel Novak.

But then Dean remembers what he read in Azazel's journal, and what it all meant.

"_Holy fuck._"

* * *

**Response to Guest Reviews: _**

**Diana Campos: (**_Estou adorando esse mistério e essa paixão, apesar de complicada. Emocionante!_** )  
**Obrigado!  
Estou feliz que você está gostando disso até agora. Eu tenho um monte de planos para essa história, então eu estou realmente animado para trazê-lo à vida e tudo isso. Estou feliz que você é muito!  
Obrigado pela avaliação!

**Destiel Sabriel: (**_Can't wait to see what rank Dean is! I love this story and I also can't wait to read next chapter! :) _**)  
**Well, this chapter should have helped with that, haha!  
Luckily I updated again, so wee!~ I hope you liked it!  
By the way, I love your guest name. It made me laugh when I saw it.


	7. There's Nowhere We Can Hide

****Author's Note: _**

**Dude- I've been gone for over a month. **

**_Whoops._**

**DCBB took control over me, and I had a week long vacation, and then I had other shit like family business to attend to. It's been a weird while, so, yay?**  
**Either way, I decided that I've waited too long on this fic and updating it, so here I am.**

**This ch is sad in some aspects, and I apologize.**  
**Also- cliff hanger. Ohhhhhhhhhh~**

**Side Note - School is starting up again soon (gosh darn it), and I decided that I'll have a new updating schedule and whatever. It'll be a week to two weeks or whenever I can manage an update, because I put school behind fic last year and I sort of paid the price for it in some ways, but this year is going to be different. Especially since I have to start looking into colleges and other things, and grades matter now more than ever.**

**Enjoy!~**

* * *

Dean scrambles away from Cas' form, his chest heaving as the other wolf slumbers on unknowingly. Dean's limbs shake, and his paws almost slide against the wooden floor from panicking as his mind tries to process what he just discovered.

Cas is his mate?

Like- _platonically,_ right?  
This isn't some romantic, 'I need you for the rest of my life' thing, right?

Oh shit- he's fucked- _this is all fucked-_

"Dean?"

Dean pivots to see his brother holding the door with a cautious aura about him, and Dean just breathes heavily in and out of his nose.

"Hey, there's no reason to be hyperventilating, Dean…" Sammy takes a few slow steps forward and rests his weight on one knee, petting Dean behind his ear, "What's got you so worked up?"

Dean would normally move away or bark at his brother for making him feel like the family pet, but instead, he just lets his head move into his brother's gentle fingers. A rumble vibrates through his chest lazily at the contact.

"So, do you wanna shift and talk about this, or should I get my own fluff on?"

Dean barks softly, sitting down and waiting for his brother. Sammy rolls his eyes and changes, licking his nose for a moment before shaking out his fur.

"_Would you mind tellin' me what's freakin' you out now?"_ he asks.

Dean looks over to Cas and takes a deep breath- now or never, he supposes- "_It's about Cas._"

"_He didn't hurt you did he-"_

"_No, Sammy,_" Dean huffs and sets his head down onto his paws, "_I just read a few things in that journal that freaked me out because it deals with how I'm supposed to deal with stuff. One of those things being Cas."_

Sammy tilts his head, "_What do you mean?"_

The newly presented wolf looks over to the slumbering alpha, his reply quiet- "_I think Cas and I are mates…_"

"_What!?"_

Dean doesn't look towards his brother, "_Sammy, just calm down… I don't know for sure right now, but… the chances of it being true are pretty high._"

"_Why's that?"_

"_I'm kind of like an alpha and omega at the same time; and before you say anything, I know, it's complicated. But the thing is that I have more of an omega's quality because of my mate being an alpha, and the only one here other than you-"_

"_Is Castiel…_" Sammy interrupts, his voice distant until he snaps out of his thoughts, "_But Dean, come on-"_

Dean growls softly at his brother- "_Sammy, just let it go for right now. I need to figure things out before anything settles in stone, okay? There could be a chance that things are just goofed up or my system is just jumpy…_"

Sammy shakes his head, "_But Dean, there's never really a mistake when it comes to mates-"_

"_Well there is one this time._" Dean retorts angrily, and he reels himself back before he jumps to attack his own flesh and blood, "_Give me some time, Sammy. Maybe things will be clearer then than they are now…_"

"_Yeah, I hope so, Dean._"

The eldest Winchester sighs, looking over to the other alpha for a minor second, "_Alright, so we're agreed on this? You're okay with me getting my shit together before you go jumpin' for Cas' throat?"_

"_Yes, Dean. I'll wait…_" Sammy rolls his eyes- "_But, if he gets forceful or possessive in ways he shouldn't, I won't hesitate to go back on my words._"

"_I know you won't._"

Sammy nods, turning around then, "_I'm off to go see Gabe now._"

"_Wait-"_ Sammy stalls and faces Dean, "_what was Gabe talking about earlier? You know, about the whole 'fuck and leave you' thing?"_

Sammy visibly looks pained, and his snout points towards the floor as he replies- "_I don't know, but… I plan on talking to him about it._"

Dean nods, feeling an awkwardness seep into the air around himself and his brother, "_Well, just make sure he's alright. Also, don't go stickin' your nose where it doesn't belong, Sammy._"

"_Yeah, I know, Dean. I'm not going to pry where he doesn't want me to. I'm not like that._" Sammy rolls his eyes for good measure, "_Now, I'm going to go solve that issue with him. You should get started on your own mate problems there, bubba._"

Dean's flabbergasted as his younger brother trots out of the room, tail and snout turned upwards in victory for having stumped his sibling. Dean grunts unhappily as the chocolate brown wolf leaves, and he shuts the door back with his snout. The door shuts quietly into its frame, and Dean turns to look at Cas slumbering in the corner of the room. The raven wolf's chest rises and falls rhythmically as he breathes, his whiskers twitching on the side of his face. Dean sits down and lays his head on his paws, staring at Cas as his mind tries to figure things out.

So, Cas is his _mate?_

Maybe it's because, like it was mentioned earlier, Cas is the only alpha around Dean since he was turned. Maybe it's because Dean's new wolf is just misunderstanding the situation because Dean never harbored any feelings for Cas other than gratefulness for saving his pack. It'd be bad enough if that wasn't the only thing riding on this, but there's more. There's Dean's past and Castiel's hidden one. There's the fact that the alpha is practically a mystery to Dean- complex and hard to understand. It would be a different situation if Dean at least knew who his wolf was staking its claim on.

This is all just a little too much for Dean to process, because really, he was only turned a week or so ago- and now look where that got him.

Cas moves a little in his sleep, his lip twitching up over his teeth partially. Dean watches him carefully, making sure that the alpha doesn't wake up, because Dean knows he might freak if he finds the body next to him gone.

"I just don't understand," Dean mumbles to himself, eyeing Cas as he settles more and calms, "_why does my wolf think you're the one when I barely know you?"_

**…**

Dean had left Cas to sleep on his own in favor of padding down the hallways of the pack house. Other wolves eye him, noticing that he's still in his wolf form as he passes by. In all honesty, Dean hasn't shifted for the fact he knows that this form can protect him better if any beta tries to get the jump on him. Dean doesn't want to interact or deal with another Balthazar, either.

Instead of running into that mess, Dean stumbles upon Meg grabbing a box of cereal out of one of the pantries with her jaws.

"_Don't you think it'd be easier to get it using your hands?"_ Dean asks, padding up to the she-wolf as she sets the Cheerios on the kitchen floor.

She rolls her eyes, "_I don't have the time or energy to shift back and forth for the luxury of laziness, Dean._"

"_So do you ever shift back into human form?"_ he asks, curiosity peaked as he helps her place the cereal box into a bag on her side.

Meg shakes her muzzle and gets some applesauce from the bottom shelf with ease, setting it in the bag before she replies- "_No, I never do._"

"_Why?"_ Dean stretches so he can get her a jar of peanut butter, his head tilted as he tries to figure out the complex character that is before him, "_Surely being on four paws gets tiring after a lil' bit._"

"_It doesn't when it keeps you and your pup safe._" Meg replies curtly, starting to trot ahead of Dean, "_Don't you have your big, strong alpha to go back to?"_

Dean is taken aback by that- "_What? I'm not Cas' bitch-"_

"_You certainly smell like it. And him._" she retorts cooly, her nails clicking against the floor as she walks past their other pack members, "_I'm not judgin' you for it. I'm just an omega who doesn't want to be dominated by anyone._"

"_But like, isn't it in your instincts to?"_

Meg turns on Dean abruptly, her lip pulled up in a silent snarl- "_Dean, you have no idea what I've been through. That pup is probably the only thing that I've got left in this fucked up life of mine, and you know what-"_ she gets up into Dean's personal space, her scent fiery with anger and sour with the undertones of guilt and regret- "_if she's the only thing I want to have in my life, then that's completely fucking okay._"

"_I never said that it wasn't a bad thing,_" Dean defends himself softly, feeling intimidated by Meg as she glares hotly at him, "_just that I wasn't sure if we could go above that or somethin'... Remember, I new to all of this shit._"

"_I'm aware of that, because if you weren't, I would have already attacked you._"

"_I'm not the only person that's asked, am I?"_ Dean feels some pity for the she-wolf rise in his chest, but he dismisses it because Meg is too strong of a person and werewolf to even remotely deserve such an emotion.

Meg sighs, her angry demeanor gone in seconds, "_Sadly, yes, you're not the only one…_" Meg sits down then, her body slumping with what looks like fatigue- "_It's hard being an omega. Alphas want to own and possess you, and they usually only treat you like sex toys that get really fun once a month… Betas can be assholes, but most don't even give a shit about you and could care less. Other omegas understand, usually… but there's some out there that have traditional views, and they'll repress themselves and allow others to treat them like dirt because 'that's how it's supposed to be' in their minds. I've gotten a lot of shit over the years for not being like that._"

Dean looks towards his paws, "_So that's what Gabe meant by 'fuck and leave'..._"

"_Yeah, alphas will wait till your in heat, and they'll promise all of these sweet things to you and they'll make you feel like you're on the top of the world-"_ she huffs a breath, "_only for you to come crashing back into reality when it ends and they would prefer to walk out through the door rather than walk with you to the doctor for your morning sickness._"

"_Shit, Meg…_" Dean feels at a loss- and god, he hates it when he can't really comfort someone because it makes him feel like utter shit that he can't offer anything helpful- "_I- I'm sorry._"

Meg doesn't get angry at him again, though Dean believed he would with his pitiful reply to such a sad admission, "_It's alright… It's nothing you did, Dean…_"

"_So that's how you got your pup?"_ Dean asks cautiously.

"_Yes. I went into heat, and a lone alpha near Alistair's pack offered me the fantasy life if I let him knot me._" Dean minutely winces at Meg's choice of words, "_Out of desperation and hormones, I agreed like an idiot. He just used me for three days and then left. I found out I was carrying my pup a week later._"

Dean wants to comfort Meg by rubbing himself on her- something he knows Sammy did to John when Adam went rogue- but he knows that the action probably won't be appreciated considering Meg has never liked people in her personal bubble, "_I'm sorry that he did that to you._"

Meg shakes her muzzle, standing up, "_It's not your fault, Dean. That happened before you managed to wiggle yourself back into my life… So, would you like to meet Ruby?"_

"_Ruby?"_ Dean echoes.

"_My pup, officially. I know you already spent time with her, but…_" Meg shrugs, "_She misses you, and I need all the help I can get in makin' her happy._"

Dean smiles, nodding, "_Yeah, I'd love to. You know, you're a good mom, Meg. Despite all the bullshit that's happened, you're better than most wolves are when this happens to them._"

"_I know,_" she would smile if she was in human form, and Dean wonders what it looks like- "_I tried to be different in that aspect. I mean, I already fell for that asshole's lies before, so might as well prove him wrong when he said I'd be nothing without him._"

"_What are you, then?"_

"_A mother._" Meg answers simply, "And a damn good one."

Dean can't seem to disagree.

**…**

Castiel wakes up feeling odd. He supposes it's from his mixed feelings about Dean and what had happened when his first heat had struck. He remembers what Gabriel and Sam had told him- that Dean hasn't had the opportunity to really find a mate because all his wolf knows is Castiel. The alpha sighs, deciding to check and see if Dean is alright. However, when Castiel opens his eyes, Dean is gone.

Castiel jumps up onto his paws in an instant, his nostrils flaring to see who had been in the room. Instead of finding any other scents, minus Gabriel's and Sam's, there is nothing in the air that can prove that Dean was taken away by force.

Castiel calms only a fraction, deciding to follow Dean's scent because he knows that his pack members are far too eager to jump onto Dean without his consent. As the alpha wanders through the halls of his pack house, betas whine and bear their throats in apology as he passes. They know that their earlier behavior with Dean was and is unacceptable, and Castiel makes a mental note to call in a meeting later to address what had happened. The more he lays down the law on this, the less chance that Dean will have at getting taken advantage of by his own pack.

As Castiel finds a newer, fresher scent from Dean, he realizes that another joins it. The alpha recognizes the sweet scent of milk and pup, and his mind automatically recalls the image of Meg. Castiel finds it a little strange that Dean would be following the she-wolf, but he guesses that maybe instincts wanted him near that sort of thing, especially when his first heat hadn't been too long ago.

The scent trail leads Castiel outside, causing him to trot a little faster because anyone could ignore pack law and cross over the border if they caught the underlying tone of heat in Dean's scent. All wolves, except omegas, are attracted to the sweet, rich scent of an omega- even if they aren't in heat. It's in their instincts to stalk after it, it's a biological need to chase and claim and own and breed. Castiel finds it archaic in some aspects, especially with how some wolves treat omegas (Meg being an example) in heat and just in general. That, however, doesn't mean that all alphas or betas are aware that what their wolf demands is wrong and cruel. They just find it as the natural order, as 'how things are supposed to be'.

Dean's scent grows stronger as Castiel nears its source, and the alpha has to control his wolf because it feels like sprinting to make sure that Dean is okay. Castiel knows that it's because his wolf believes- despite what had transpired between himself, Gabe, and Sam- that Dean is its mate. If Castiel were in human form, he would surely be sighing by this point.

No matter what he does, his wolf will always find a way to ruin everything it can. Castiel isn't surprised.

**…**

"_How did you come up with the name Ruby?"_ Dean asks, finding the small entryway into the den that Meg had dug at least ten feet away from the pack house, the dense foliage and tree trunks offering shelter and privacy for the den's location.

"_It just came to me, I guess._" Meg admits, slinking into the hole of the den before Dean, "_She's pretty like a gemstone, precious in all sorts of ways. Seems like I needed to pay homage to that._"

Dean can hear the pup- Ruby, Dean reminds himself now- mewling as Meg comes over to her, "_That's really beautiful, Meg._"

Meg snorts as she lies on her side, and Ruby instantly attaches herself onto her mother, "_All omegas think about baby names at some point in their lives. Ask Gabe about it, and I'm pretty sure he'll give you a list of 'em._"

"_He doesn't seem like the type, though._"

"_Is he an omega?"_ Meg replies curtly, and Dean huffs a breath because he knows that she's got a point, "_It's in our genetics to want kids, Dean. In our heats, we beg for something more than just a knot. We crave it just like everything else. If we didn't, then I'm sure the werewolf population would be quite small compared to what we have with our urges._"

Dean settles down on the dirt floor of Meg's den, watching Ruby mix on her mother's stomach as she eats- "_But… I wasn't a born werewolf like you… I'm changed. Doesn't that mean I just have the desire, but not the ability?"_

Meg shakes her head sadly, "_No, it doesn't. Changed omegas are just as capable of making kids as born ones are. It's just harder on them in some aspects._"

"_So, if I go into heat-"_ Dean notices the look that Meg gives him, "_okay, when I go into heat, I can have kids if I'm not careful? But- but I'm a male._"

"_Yeah, you can, even when you're a guy. Welcome to the miracle that is lycanthropy._"

Dean stares at the dust that is clinging to the fur of his paws, and he swallows, "_B-But I don't want that…_"

"_You're going to, in heat, at least. Though I'm sure you'll find yourself wanting a little one for yourself soon enough, anyways. Instincts always hit changed omegas the hardest, since you don't know what to expect or how to deal with them. I at least know how to fight against them or resist. You don't._"

Dean sighs, watching Ruby as she mewls quietly against her mom's stomach to signal that she's full, "_Can I avoid it?"_

"_Not really. Nature intended for it to happen, and she's found ways to overrule any attempts we try to make at protecting ourselves. She's a bitch, in that sense._"

Dean lays his head down on his paws as he mumbles, "_I didn't ask for this…_"

"_Neither did I-"_ Meg counters, and Dean feels like a fool for going on the self-pity route on this when Meg obviously suffered more- but then again, this isn't a competition on who has had the shitest life- "_but I'm dealing with it, Dean._"

"_How can I? I just- this is so much to take in and I don't… I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Meg…_"

"_Embrace it, obviously._" Dean's head lifts so he can stare at the she-wolf for her advice, his shock evident as she goes on, "_If you don't know how to be an omega, Dean, try to fake it till you make it- or better yet- fake it till you become it._"

"_So I'm just supposed to pretend I'm the best omega ever, and somehow I'll end up becoming that?"_ Dean shakes his head, "_In case you haven't noticed, Meg, I'm not even a true omega. I'm a hybrid; one that just happened to be submissive for their mate-"_ Dean's muzzle shuts abruptly at the words, afraid that he has said too much, and going by the look on Meg's face, he has.

"_Wait, you've met your mate already-"_

"_I didn't say that-"_

"_You implied it, Dean, and that's enough for me._" her tail wags happily as she cocks the furry equivalent to an eyebrow, "_So Dean Winchester, who's the lucky wolf?"_

Dean stares at the ground and is glad that you can't at least be seen blushing while in wolf form, though going by the snort from Meg, you can fucking _smell_ it or something- "_I don't know if they really are my mate or not, Meg… I did just present, to be fair…_"

Meg shifts a little, causing Ruby to make a yip of displeasure as she has to find a new spot to cuddle into, "_A wolf just doesn't label anyone as their mate, Dean. I know that you're kind of newbie at this, but even with that in mind, your wolf claiming that it has a mate isn't a mistake._"

"_Well, it is. I know it is._" Dean argues lightly, "_S'not fair, Meg… I only just got changed, I literally just sort of presented… Why do I already have to have a mate, too? … Why can't I just be normal or at least have time to process this shit?"_

"_Because life isn't fair, Dean- especially for those who share themselves with a wolf._"

Dean sighs, "_I know, but… why does it have to be that way?"_

"_I can't answer that for you, Dean. I don't think anyone can…_" she says solemnly, adding, "Now, can you at least give me a hint as to who your wolf is fawning over?"

Just as Dean is about to answer with a 'never, not in a million years', the alpha himself practically barrels his way into the entrance of Meg's den.

**…**

Castiel feels regret pool in his chest at the gawking sound Meg is making, but mostly for the fact Dean is underneath him, wide-eyed and belly up with his muzzle a centimeter apart from Castiel's.

"_Get off of me!"_ Dean barks angrily, flailing under the alpha.

"_S-Sorry, I didn't mean to-"_ Castiel jumps off of the other wolf with embarrassment running high.

Dean grunts, straightening himself and shaking dirt off of his fur coat, "_What did you do? Fall in here or somethin'?"_

"_I wasn't expecting the drop, no._" Castiel admits, and when Meg's pup whines, the alpha looks over to be reminded that he and Dean are not alone, "_Oh, sorry about the intrusion._"

"_S'alright_." Meg gives the wolf version of a shrug, "_Now, could ya at least give me a reason why you tumbled into my little nest?"_

"_I was looking for Dean. He wasn't with me when I woke up._" the alpha answers, and Dean stiffens beside him.

Meg nods, though there is a twinkle in her eye, "_Okay, that's fine. I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about._" she winks at Dean, and Castiel represses his wolf from giving the other omega a warning growl.

Dean scrambles out of the den before Castiel can even move, and going by his scent as he passes the alpha, he's practically mortified. Castiel eyes Meg carefully, and the she-wolf just gives him a snort and proceeds to lick her pup.

Castiel leaves soon afterwards, and when he exits Meg's den, he finds Dean pacing back and forth in an uneasy trot. The alpha tilts his head at the omega, giving a small yip to make Dean stall for a moment.

"_Dean, are you okay?"_

Dean hangs his head and shuffles his paws on the moss below, "_I'm- I don't know…_"

Castiel feels off kilter at the moment, especially knowing just how awkward things are between himself and Dean. Had the omega noticed Castiel's pheromones on his fur and understood what they meant? Had Dean figured out what had been going on and is now frightful of what that means and entitles?

"_I'm sorry._" Castiel blurts.

Dean's head jolts upwards at the words said to him- "_What? …_"

"_I'm sorry,_" Castiel begins, "_I don't know if I've made you uncomfortable or have caused you to feel frightened around me or worse. It wasn't my intention._"

"_No, you didn't-"_ Dean looks flustered, "_Cas, you didn't do anything wrong… I know this is going to sound cheesy and corny, but- it's not you, it's me._"

Castiel tilts his head, "_I don't understand, Dean._"

Dean settles himself a little on the forest floor, looking fatigued and worn, "_Things are just complicated right now, Cas… There's things I've got to figure out before I can go off and explain the whole shebang to you._"

"_You can try to talk about it now. I'm sure I'll be able to understand-"_

"_No!"_ Dean jumps up, and Castiel takes a step back from the sudden movement, Dean realizes what he did and reels himself back partially, "_I, uh- I just can't do that, Cas. It's not that simple… Give me some time, and I'm sure I'll be able to figure things out. Hell, by then, there may not even be a problem._"

Castiel furrows his gaze on Dean, not understanding ironically enough- "Dean-"

"_Sorry, Cas. That's just how things have got to be for a lil' bit._" Dean sighs, beginning to trot back to the pack house, "_Now, if you don't mind, I've got some research to do._"

Of course, Castiel realizes as Dean practically sprints away from him, the whole first heat fiasco has gone unmentioned.

**…**

Dean shifts once he's inside of his room. He practically slams his door shut after he locks it, and Dean leans onto the wood as he shuts his eyes while taking a deep breath.

"What the fuck is happenin' to me? …" Dean murmurs, feeling his pulse race and his skin heat, a shaky hand presses against Dean's neck, and a small gasp escapes him at the sensation it causes- "fuck…"

Dean feels his feet slide out from underneath him, his ass hitting the floor roughly as a whine stalls in his throat.

"Oh shit- oh fuck…" Dean hisses, his hand sliding his hand along the heated curve of his hip, his sensitive nerves causing him to jolt against the slab of wood at his back.

Several growls echo outside, and Dean slithers away from the door just as several sets of claws dig into the space underneath the door.

"No no no-" Dean falls and stumbles back, whatever excitement or arousal that had brewing in his veins had suddenly dissipated, leaving Dean to feel nothing but fear as some of the wood splinters and the paint falls off as chips onto the floor below.

However, before any wolf can truly break in, a roar from outside the door causes Dean to still immediately. The other wolves whine and stop attacking Dean's door almost instantly, before it sounds like a fight brews outside. Several sounds of pain escape muzzles as several bodies are flung against the wall outside.

There's one more snarl before Dean shifts to figure out what's going on, "_- there is going to be a pack meeting in five minutes, and it's mandatory that you all be there._"

Several sets of paws scramble off into the rest of the hall, and Dean shifts, rushing over to get a shirt and sweats on as there is a soft knock on the door, "Dean?"

Dean fumbles on getting his leg into his sweats, nearly falling over in the process as he hops over to the door, "I'm gettin' dressed, just a sec."

"That's fine…" Cas mumbles and Dean can hear some shuffling outside, "I'm using a nearby curtain to cover up, just so you are aware."

Dean raises a brow, "Uh, okay, Cas…"

"I didn't want you to open the door and get embarrassed or worse."

"Thanks for taking me into consideration." Dean finishes slipping his shirt of his head as he pulls back the door, "Now can you tell me why you're here?"

Cas is staring at the floor rather than looking at Dean, and a red curtain hangs loosely over his shoulders like a makeshift robe, "I heard the betas outside of your door trying to get in… Dean, I apologize for the way my pack is treating you, and if you want to leave I would understand-"

"_Woah woah woah,_ Cas, no one said I was gonna be leavin'..." Dean furrows his brow for a moment, "Look, I know that your followers are actin' kinda… weird, but weird things have been happenin' lately. What do you expect?"

"I expect them to treat you right and properly, Dean." Cas asserts, some anger seeping into his voice as he speaks, "That's why I've called a pack meeting to address this issue. Hopefully this will deter them from doing anything else to you."

Dean smiles, "Well, thanks, Cas."

The alpha nods sheepishly, and his eyes still haven't lifted to look at Dean- "It's fine, Dean…"

"So, are you gonna go take care of your big pack meeting or what?"

Cas jolts for a second, "Oh- I- thank you for reminding me, Dean."

Dean snorts a small laugh as the alpha stumbles away, a smirk wide on his face, "Yeah, Cas. Anytime." and he shuts the door.

Dean's face falls a moment afterwards, remembering that he has bits and pieces to look into inside of Azazel's journal. He rushes over to where it had been open on his desk, and he exhales hard.

"No-" Dean rummages around a small space, his hands flying up into his hair- "oh my god it's gone-"

"I was wondering when you would notice." Dean jumps, looking over to see a form shrouded in shadow, their voice sinister, "I know several people who would pay a hefty price for this book right here, especially for the information it contains, but I know that they'll pay an even larger sum for you."

Dean's brow furrows as he takes a step back, swallowing, "Who are you?"

"An old friend," the person shrugs, "but that doesn't matter. All that does is getting my way. I guess that for right now, you have a warning, Dean." there's a chuckle, and the form steps forward, "You and I aren't finished yet."

"Zachariah…" Dean murmurs.

"The one and only." Zachariah smirks and holds Azazel's journal to his side, "I'm so happy that you remember me so well! Gah- the last time I saw you was when Sam was a little pup and you were just a toddler! Such fun times!"

Dean swallows, only to find his mouth dry, "What do you want?"

The older werewolf makes an expression, one of pondering as he tsks, "What don't I want, Dean? I mean, you're not the only one that's changed. Since we last saw each other, I've become quite the businessman. Especially when it comes to anything werewolf related."

"That still doesn't explain what you want with me…" Dean eyes Zachariah carefully as he begins to casually step around the room.

"Oh, Dean- you're still so naive sometimes. I mean, come on. Really?" Zachariah throws his arms in the air as a sign of fake shock, "You're a hybrid, well, at least according to Azazel's terms. Do you know just how rare you are? Do you know how many wolves would_ love_ to just own you-"

"I'm no one's pet." Dean growls, his hands balling up into fists, "I'll _never_ become that."

Zachariah rolls his eyes, sighing, "Always so stubborn. Dean, this world is basically a market. People have stocks, have investments… Some fall through, some don't… Well, you my friend, are like a gold mine. I'll be set for life and beyond just from having you under my thumb alone."

Dean's lip twitches over his teeth, and his wolf is near the surface, "Sorry, but, becoming your bitch isn't on my to do list."

"Oh, it will be. Especially if I have some catalysts." Zachariah smiles, "Would you care if I took Sam back, Dean? Or how about that other omega, Gabe, is it? I mean, what would you do if they were at stake, hm? Or what about that she-wolf and her pup?" Dean stiffens, his eyes widening at the older werewolf's threats, "Who knows what you'll do if I throw that alpha into the mix-"

"Don't you even_ think_ about it." Dean snarls, his wolf nearly winning over him in the control arena at the thought of Zachariah hurting Cas for his own gain.

"Ah see, there it is. The soft spot- the weak chain among the link." Zachariah laughs, his suit wrinkling as he does so, "Dean, sometimes you make it so easy to play this little game. You give me the perfect the ammunition, I swear."

Dean softens only a little, his fear building against his chest, threatening to explode and pour over his ribs like an over-flowed glass, "What do I have to do? …"

The older werewolf grins in a feral manner, "That's the spirit, Dean." he takes a step forwards, and Dean takes one back, "First off, I'm going to be collecting you in a weeks time. You will not tell anyone about our arrangement, nor will you try to run off or disappear. I will find you, or you'll find yourself coming back to a pack house full of strangers. You will keep yourself fed, clean, and in proper health before I return."

"Anything else?" Dean quietly inquires, feeling hopelessness line his chest like useless padding as his heart thumps in terror at the thought of what is going to happen to him in seven days time.

"Keep that alpha off of you." Zachariah sneers, looking disgusted, "Clients won't be interested in renting or buying you if you smell like another wolf. We want your scent to be as pure as possible."

"But what if something happens?" the other werewolf seems angry that Dean would argue and or debate against him and his rules, "Maybe something along the lines of a spontaneous heat?"

"Then I'll just come get you then, Dean. Don't think you have an out or that there are options here for you. I can assure you, they don't exist. You can either believe me, or just keep lying to yourself till your delusional."

Dean exhales over his bottom lip roughly, letting his chin fall against his chest in a sense of defeat- "O-Okay… I get it… A week from now…" Dean licks his lips to try and ease some of the adrenaline in his veins, to try and keep himself from falling apart, as if he were a pane of glass under too much pressure while being forced to bend at an angle, "I'll be yours…"

Zachariah grins, "Just like it should be. Now I'll see you later, Dean. I've got seven days to get the word out that you'll be on sale soon enough."

As the other wolf leaves- Azazel's journal in hand- Dean slumps against his mattress, heaving oxygen in and out of his lungs.

"What am I going to do? …" he whispers lightly, and he scrunches his eyes at the thought of what is to come soon enough.


End file.
